Quit everything , and start again over 50?
Comments
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If you don't like nets - have a look at window film (https://www.amazon.co.uk/White-Privacy-Frosted-Glass-Window/dp/B0026PEIV4). It is very easy and gives good privacy without blocking the light. Youngest did the bottom half of the sash windows in her rental as she can easily remove it when she leaves - although you won't have that problem as you are buying. Much nicer than nets which are really just dust traps and need regular washing.
Wooden floors - I have them (apart from bathroom and cooking end of kitchen-diner which are tiled). Sometime wish I had stuck to carpet as need rugs (trip hazard) in winter to be cosy, but with cats, and me, coming straight in from garden into lounge and dining room end of kitchen through French doors, thought it would be more practical. If you do go for them take my advice and don't skimp on quality boards. I did as it was done through a "friend of a friend" but I regret not paying more and having it done properly. Hey-ho, you live and (sometimes) learn. You might be lucky and have floorboards under the carpets which you could have sanded and sealed. I did that in my last house (another tip - don't do it yourself unless you have loads of strength and energy. I thought I was superwoman and could do it myself but it nearly killed me!). Have a little look under the carpet in the corner of the room.0 -
AC I'm not going to shout at you for the guitar purchase. Just a reminder though.
Please keep receipts (obviously for insurance purposes/guarantee etc) but also remember what I said about keeping reciepts just in case you do decide to set up a sideline business for your your music.
If you do decide to set up a business or do any kind of paid work such as playing gigs or streaming music on the internet, then the guitar will be a capital expense and is therefore tax deductible (depending on when you register your businesses of course - you are allowed to claim some things retrospectively but not sure of the time limits).
Ps you can register your business in advance - you don't have to wait until it's fully operational. You can do it online, it only takes a few minutes.
My son has done this for his fledgingly photography business. This means any equipment he buys will be tax deductible against future earnings.
Like you I had to part with some valuable possessions simply in order to stay afloat, our apartment in Spain, my husband's James Bond memorabila - including his beloved original Dinky Aston Martin, some rare vinyls, some antiques and works of art and eventually our beloved family home.
It was upsetting but sometimes needs must.
Like you I shall replace some of the items ......not like for like but something appropriate.
We can't look back.......the road isn't taking is there.......we can only move forward into the future.
TBH I have been a bit melancholy these last few days. It was exactly 2.5 years this week since my husband died, of course co-inciding with Valentine's Day. It has been painful.
I liken "grief episodes" to a series of tsunamis, they just keep coming, and of course they always hit when you are least prepared. They have knocked me back this week.
I'll feel better when dad's estate is wrapped up. Just off out to post some stuff to his solicitor.
Like you I've slipped a bit with the exercise. But hey in the grand scheme of things it's not the be all and end all. It's just a blip and we can get back on track if we out our minds to it.
Still not found a property yet.
I just can't be bothered at the moment.
Mañana.......maybe.:D0 -
Net curtains......noooooo dahhhling, they scream "old lady". I'm 65 and I wouldn't be seen dead with them. Window film or sheer blinds (Ikea) are soooo much more stylish.
Re wooden floors......go for the good stuff, solid not veneers.
The carers wrecked ours, deep heavy gouges from all the lifting equipment and wheelchairs etc. Got my favourite "little man wot does" to sand them and revarnish them back to their original glory. They came up like new. (I'm too old and decrepit now to do the job myself). Dreaming is right - it's very hard work. Even my super fit 32 year old athlete of a son struggled.
Good quality wood flooring will take all manner of punishment and will last a lifetime. Most carpets look tatty after a few years. The initial outlay will be higher of course but if it's your forever home then it's well worth the investment.
Rugs can be a trip hazard if you have balance issues but if you use anti slip mats underneath they are perfectly safe for most people. It's when you come to need Zimmer frames or wheelchair bound that rugs become a real problem.
AC can't remember if you are buying a ground floor flat or not.....but if you are not and you do go for wooden floors please ensure you put down adequate sound proofing.......at least if you want to be on good terms with your neighbours. :rotfl:
I did find that good quality wooden flooring was actually very cosy underfoot unlike laminate which seemed much colder. We had laminate upstairs to save money but I don't think I would do that again.
In my forever home the plan is to have underfloor heating anyway (and good insulation) so the floors will be super cosy.0 -
Thanks again Dreaming /LL for the tips
Yes , LL blinds are better. I forgot to mention them .
Glad you understand my purchase:)
You mention James Bond . Believe it or not my neighbour is called Jamie . I thought it was a windup when he signed for my amazon package:rotfl::rotfl:
Must collectible thing I sold : Metallica signed white label12" and poster. Original bass player turned out to be one of the great bassists in rock but got killed in a coach crash . Met him and them in a small record shop,in soho. Nearly got the sack queuing up for almost 4 hours. Still I managed to take photos and have them on computer etc.
Speaking of music, I browsed a website looking for musicians.
Saw one band who play Southampton area . Looked at their set list and realised I could do over half of their set. A little rusty now, but that new bass may get me in a band or to in the next few months when settled . I have no transport but I can travel light. ( despite being a fat !!!!!! at present ):)
The landlady is fine . She may know a few builders etc and may be of help to me if I get that flat .
Regarding the flooring: if I get the flat, it is a bargain compared to what I expected to pay . This means I can in effect do what's necessary to make it the best I can .
It's on the ground floor . If it was upstairs, then it would be carpet and not wood flooring .
Sorry you are not at your best LL. Grief is strange and unpredictable .
Didn't really go to bits over my dad. My mum: I expected to be on the verge of collapse at various stages. Yes really . However, since she died 16 months ago I'm still keeping it together. I think,of her lots obviously and she inspires me at times in what I say and do.
Sometimes I think,' I'll phone her' then realise of course I can't .
I think we are like foxes and have to make the best after being scattered if that makes sense
Looking at the bigger picture for myself this year so far: I am enjoying the quietness. Not happy about the breathlessness coming and going.
Feeling strange about the potential flat purchase. Not stressed.
I think things have happened so,fast.10 days ago , I was looking at a dump. I may ( funds permitting ) hold off looking for work for a good few months yet. I don't need to 'sign on' till may . Putting that to the back of my mind. I'll probably know when I get fitter and bored out of my mind 0 -
AC. Forgive me if I'm stating the "bleedin' obvious" but have you mentioned the breathlessness to your doctor.
It might be nothing......perhaps because you are carrying a bit too much weight but it is something that shouldn't be ignored.0 -
[QUOTE=another casualty;
Sorry you are not at your best LL. Grief is strange and unpredictable .
Didn't really go to bits over my dad. My mum: I expected to be on the verge of collapse at various stages. Yes really . However, since she died 16 months ago I'm still keeping it together. I think,of her lots obviously and she inspires me at times in what I say and do.
Sometimes I think,' I'll phone her' then realise of course I can't .
[/QUOTE]
You're so right about grief. My mum died when I was 7, so 54 years ago, but I didn't really grieve then. I was sent away to an aunt's house at the end and she told me that "mum has gone to heaven". I didn't attend the funeral and when I went home my dad and brother and sister never spoke about mum so I learned not to as well. We lost touch with her side of the family until my cousin tracked us down last year (well, tracked my brother down as he obviously hadn't changed his name on marriage like my sister and I). My uncle (mum's youngest brother) sent some photos of us that mum had sent to her mother in Ireland as we grew up - the only photos I have of me as a child as others got lost after dad died. I have been scanning them so I can get copies made for sister who never talks to me (will just put them in the post to her) and it has made me feel very sad for we 3 kids who were taught to bury our grief. I often think that it is not just the person we miss but the "might have beens".
Sorry to be a bit maudlin, I am actually also very happy to re-establish contact with my relatives, and it has opened up a new dialogue between my brother and me. Just wish sister would get in touch.
Going though the suitcase of "stuff" I also found my Dire Straits programme from their farewell tour (On Every Street) in 1991. Not sure what happened to the t-shirt but feel in the mood for a bit of AOR now.0 -
lessonlearned wrote: »AC. Forgive me if I'm stating the "bleedin' obvious" but have you mentioned the breathlessness to your doctor.
It might be nothing......perhaps because you are carrying a bit too much weight but it is something that shouldn't be ignored.
Thanks LL
It's part of the condition . Actually , it was probably the beginning of the condition . Hard to explain . It comes and goes . Rest is the best medicine for myasthenia gravis .
When I was beginning to walk on a regular basis a couple of weeks ago, things seemed to improve . I noticed that i wasn't as bad as before. Then of course rain stopped play.so,I stopped .
This is why I'm gonna get a cross trainer . Use it daily , and cut back on the crap and things will improve a lot .
I didn't know that myasthenia effects sleep patterns etc.
The annoying thing is , people look at a big bloke witha tired eye .
Initially , the eye is fine . Tiredness sets in and the eye droops.
They don't see any problems . It's a strange condition .
I blame it on stress/ brother/work/ debt .all at once over a period of 10 years .
If I do regular light exercise , things will vastly improve .
Apologies for long winded answer:)0 -
Not at all. It was very interesting. I am very interested in medicine. I have already done my homework on your condition.
I was earmarked for med school but my father put a stop to that.....refused to support me so I left school at 15 and started work at British Rail. By the time I was in a financial position to go to university I was already 40 and had two babies to care for. Medical training is at least 7 years so I did an arts course instead.
Not sure if I would have been a good GP - I'm afraid I don't suffer fools so probably wouldn't have had a good bedside manner :rotfl:
I think I would have been more suited to research, perhaps in diagnostics. That is why I'm always interested in the "technical" aspect of how the human body works and the intellectual concept of "dis-ease".
It it was my intellectual interest in medicine and my ability to research that stood me in such good stead when my husband first became symptomatic.
When he first got sick hardly any of his medical team had heard of his illness and it took years to get a diagnosis. In fact we never did get anything definitive, only a working diagnosis.
To get it confirmed beyond doubt would have meant a brain biopsy after death and I refused. I felt he had been through quite enough.
However, having spent years researching his illness, wading my way through obscure papers and various arcane publications I was pretty certain. And his consultant was in agreement, no real point in subjecting him to an autopsy. The evidence was clear enough without additional testing.
For your interest it was MSA-CA. Multiple System Atrophy with a Cerebellar Ataxia Presentation. Nowadays you can google it and there's pages and pages of information freely available but in 2006 there was hardly anything in the public domain.
Funny but even when his first neurologist was flirting with a diagnosis of ADEM Or MS I already sensed it was something far more sinister and that my husband had been given a death sentence.
There are some things in life you just "know" .....l
Hey ho. Time to get the dinner on.0 -
Thanks LLlessonlearned wrote: »Not at all. It was very interesting. I am very interested in medicine. I have already done my homework on your condition.
I was earmarked for med school but my father put a stop to that.....refused to support me so I left school at 15 and started work at British Rail. By the time I was in a financial position to go to university I was already 40 and had two babies to care for. Medical training is at least 7 years so I did an arts course instead.
Not sure if I would have been a good GP - I'm afraid I don't suffer fools so probably wouldn't have had a good bedside manner :rotfl:
I think I would have been more suited to research, perhaps in diagnostics. That is why I'm always interested in the "technical" aspect of how the human body works and the intellectual concept of "dis-ease".
It it was my intellectual interest in medicine and my ability to research that stood me in such good stead when my husband first became symptomatic.
When he first got sick hardly any of his medical team had heard of his illness and it took years to get a diagnosis. In fact we never did get anything definitive, only a working diagnosis.
To get it confirmed beyond doubt would have meant a brain biopsy after death and I refused. I felt he had been through quite enough.
However, having spent years researching his illness, wading my way through obscure papers and various arcane publications I was pretty certain. And his consultant was in agreement, no real point in subjecting him to an autopsy. The evidence was clear enough without additional testing.
For your interest it was MSA-CA. Multiple System Atrophy with a Cerebellar Ataxia Presentation. Nowadays you can google it and there's pages and pages of information freely available but in 2006 there was hardly anything in the public domain.
Funny but even when his first neurologist was flirting with a diagnosis of ADEM Or MS I already sensed it was something far more sinister and that my husband had been given a death sentence.
There are some things in life you just "know" .....l
Hey ho. Time to get the dinner on.
I'll have my dinner after the local news . So different from London, with far less stabbing . Fred Dinage , sagheeta etc . Make news interesting.:)
My breathlessness , is bizarre . I'm not walking around wheezing loudly . It's more me feeling it internally .
LL , I can see your artistic side:)
In hindsight, I think psychology wouldve suited me as a career .
Years ago, I would've said personnel, which is now Hr .However, that would've given me a very wooden personality.:)0 -
Hi again everyone on this brilliant thread.
Ac- re the breathlessness, are you feeling anxious? I've been breathless the last couple of weeks but put it down to anxiety to do with getting the house we're buying to the point of exchange. I heard on telly that anxiousness can make you breathless.
Have to say I'm enjoying rug gate- it's very Adrian Mole-ish- here I go likening you to a book again- don't mean to.0
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