Can my dependent 17 year old move out without parental permission?

Blackpool_Saver · 15 April 2012 at 1:39AM

also in the child benefit books it says that you have to report if they stay away so many nights because it affects the CB. May I ask how you know all this, is it your job ?

HappyMJ · 15 April 2012 at 1:50AM

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

I can't get my head around this, how does this fit with YOU MUST tell us if anyone leaves or moves into your home, gets married or forms a partnership as if married.

Perhaps you can tell how much this surprises me, I was in a similar position to the OP last year, my son who has mental health problems and wanted to live at his GF's house because they were low lifes and he could be lazy dirty and !!!!less, I was scared if he stayed one night I would be prosecuted, I used to drive down there and pick him up....

You wouldn't say that she has moved out permanently. She's just staying over which isn't moving out as such. If she takes everything with her and leaves nothing at home at all and declares she will never return then I'd call the council after she moves out to remove the extra bedroom allowance. It may be backdated to the date she actually moved out though so there may be an overpayment. HB however can still run on for a period of time if the mother has to end a tenancy to find somewhere smaller and more affordable. She might change her mind and that's about a reasonable length of time for her to make that choice. Her home is still her mothers home. If the mother still supports her daughter by spending the child benefit on her then she still lives at home. If the daughter refuses the support (which I doubt she'll do) then the mother must tell the council and the child benefit office that she has now moved out and all benefits will then stop.

HappyMJ · 15 April 2012 at 1:56AM

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

also in the child benefit books it says that you have to report if they stay away so many nights because it affects the CB. May I ask how you know all this, is it your job ?

Staying away where? You can still get child benefit for a child that does not live with you if the amount of the child benefit is being spent on the child and no one else is claiming for her.

The child benefit books mention the 8 weeks and the circumstances of when it can run on indefinitely or not.

Blackpool_Saver · 15 April 2012 at 3:11AM

Thanks for your replies but I am still not convinced the DWP HB and HMRC would agree with you. It's the bit about "you wouldn't tell them she had moved out" that would worry me because invariably someone else will and then you would get dragged in and interrogated and put through hell, no, it's not for me, I prefer complete honesty and immediately informing govt. depts as to what is occurring. All this vagueness is asking for trouble.

Are you a professional advisor?

HappyMJ · 15 April 2012 at 8:26AM

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Thanks for your replies but I am still not convinced the DWP HB and HMRC would agree with you. It's the bit about "you wouldn't tell them she had moved out" that would worry me because invariably someone else will and then you would get dragged in and interrogated and put through hell, no, it's not for me, I prefer complete honesty and immediately informing govt. depts as to what is occurring. All this vagueness is asking for trouble.

Are you a professional advisor?

You would only tell them when it is absolutely beyond any doubt that she will not return. So that would be when all of her possessions have been removed from the house. Immediately does not always mean next day as the Child Benefit rules say you can still claim for 8 weeks then advise the Child Benefit office and it will still remain in payment if that money is being spent on her. Continuing to claim Housing Benefit may cause an overpayment which may need to be repaid but it's not an offence if her stuff is still there to not notify if the mother claims her daughter still lives there and is just going through a phase of wanting to stay with her friend for a bit longer than would be expected. They do allow some leeway in notifying change of circumstances. In any case the mother can claim a discretionary housing payment due to the departure of one of her children and then she hands in notice on her property and claims HB at the old rate for another couple of months whilst looking for somewhere cheaper. If she had just started a fixed term tenancy on the expectation her daughter would be with her for the entire time then that can continue for 6 months. Yes you need to tell the truth but not immediately only whenever everything has settled down and everyone is absolutely sure that they have made a permanent choice. 8 weeks is about right.

jetplane · 15 April 2012 at 9:38AM

OP what do you mean by his family have groomed her, do you have concerns about her living with them, will she be at risk? By your original post it is difficult to know whether there is anything suspicious about his family or whether you object for other reasons.

Have you discussed your concerns with your step daughter and could she be rebelling against your stance of not allowing her to stay over more often or objections to his family, particularly if all 3 of you are sticking together (or possibly 4 if her mother has a partner)?

I believe she can move out if she wishes and I would just try and keep all communication with her open. Will she be moving far and will she still be visiting home? She may find that she actually wants to move back home soon and might need your help to do it.

As for CSA CB & CTC if she is just staying out overnight and you still have parental responsibility then I wouldn't be looking to change this at least for the first few weeks until you establish whether this is permanent.

However I believe that his family can make a claim for CB & CTC if she lives with them as a dependant. If they do this then the departments will write to whoever currently receives benefits.

Wilma33 · 15 April 2012 at 10:39AM

Can't you arrange to meet up with the bf's parents to discuss this?

I would grit your teeth, smile and help her pack though. She will be back in a few weeks once she realises his parents are as bad as her own! You don't want pride to stop her coming home.

Have you told her that your benefits will stop so you will no longer to able to support her financially? What is she intending to live on?

emsywoo123 · 15 April 2012 at 11:26AM

She's17? Not 14!

I, like plenty of others, left home before then, and I am 31 and fine!

What does she plan to do financially?

Poppy9 · 15 April 2012 at 11:33AM

I know of one 16 year old girl who was hell bent on getting pregnant by her long term BF. One of her friends thought it was a mad idea and told her mum, who in turn told the wannabe's mother.

Her mother had a talk with her etc. to try and tell her how foolish that plan was as she was still in school (y11), when that didn't work she threatened to cut her off financially (they were loaded and the girl enjoyed material items and constantly bragged about her designer gear, car she was having for her 17th etc).

Still she went ahead with her plan and became pregnant. Her BF family were very supportive, while her mother and family ranted and raved so she moved out to live with them - apparently they were "poor" but she would constantly say how they were rich with love. Too immature to see that love doesn't feed, cloth and house a baby.

She miscarried a few weeks later and blamed her family for the stress they caused her. She did eventually reconcile with her family and although she is still with the BF she seems to have put getting pregnant on hold.

Not sure if the girl's family could have handled it differently as I would be mad at DD if she came up with plan to get pregnant while she had no means to support herself or a baby.

moggypants · 15 April 2012 at 12:33PM

jetplane wrote: »

OP what do you mean by his family have groomed her, do you have concerns about her living with them, will she be at risk? By your original post it is difficult to know whether there is anything suspicious about his family or whether you object for other reasons.

Have you discussed your concerns with your step daughter and could she be rebelling against your stance of not allowing her to stay over more often or objections to his family, particularly if all 3 of you are sticking together (or possibly 4 if her mother has a partner)?

I believe she can move out if she wishes and I would just try and keep all communication with her open. Will she be moving far and will she still be visiting home? She may find that she actually wants to move back home soon and might need your help to do it.

As for CSA CB & CTC if she is just staying out overnight and you still have parental responsibility then I wouldn't be looking to change this at least for the first few weeks until you establish whether this is permanent.

However I believe that his family can make a claim for CB & CTC if she lives with them as a dependant. If they do this then the departments will write to whoever currently receives benefits.

I hope I haven't used the wrong word in 'groomed'. The family have an older son, he met his now wife young and at 17 she had moved in with this same family. We could see the same cycle happening again.

From the very start of their relationship (my step-daughter and her bf), his parents have been very enthusiastic about them being together - too enthusiastic. She was invited to dinner within days (which yes, we didn't blink an eye to) and invited to sleep within a week. They bought her a bed within the first few months of them being together (I found this out as she's friends with my close friend's daughter - my step-daughter had confided in her - my friend was also the one who told me about the older son's situation as above).

They live barely seven miles from us, but she already talks about 'I hate that I have to catch the bus ALL the way home" and when asked if maybe his Mum or Dad could bring her home now and again "what ALL the way up here?" and she says it in disgust as if the commute is from London to Scotland.

When I say groomed, we can see her being 'groomed' and encouraged into being a housewife and mother far too soon than she should be, when right now she should be concentrating on the career she wants.

This is her first 'proper' relationship and she doesn't have the highest of self esteems.

Can my dependent 17 year old move out without parental permission?

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