Don't know where to start! £10k debt

Sunkencosts · 19 January 2018 at 10:56AM

I think it's very easy for us to say that he should be splitting things with you more equally, but it gets a little blurred when there are kids from other relationships involved and maintenance payments etc. For example, there's no way that his maintenance to his other children should ever be your responsibility etc.
But for goodness sake don't make the mistake of being a martyr. Let him help you pay off the debts, which are really family debts (I doubt you've incurred them solely buying yourself shoes and jewellery) and then set out a budget going forward which feels comfortable and fair.

WannabeRich · 20 January 2018 at 12:40PM

Thanks everyone!

I talked to my husband yesterday and he's very happy for us to combine everything and pay it all off as a joint effort. He's been saying forever that we should get a joint account and just merge everything.

So, great! That's a good point about him not putting in 50% of the house deposit! Plus I tend to be the one who books the holidays (even £9.50 holidays always end up costing me about £250) and I feel guilty whenever he pays for anything - I guess I'm a bit of a doormat.

Little_Miss_Winner · 20 January 2018 at 1:44PM

No your not a dorrmat - you sound fiercly independant which isn't a bad thing. But when he's earning that kind of money and you're not then its time to accept that a marriage is a partnership.

Keep posting though hun - that 10k can be paid off in no time with a bit of determination, and a little help from these boards x

vickthestick · 21 January 2018 at 1:18AM

Is the house just in your name still or is it now held jointly?
Because if held jointly, and you separate, then he would be entitled to half of the house, no matter who had paid what into it.
Therefore he should be paying off 'his' half of the mortgage - you have already paid off 'your' half.
Good to hear you have had the conversation about money.
Is your DH any good with money? Can he not run the money side of things if you are rubbish at it? Why not pay him rather than he pay you? Set up a budget together, focusing on paying off the debts and then the goals you set together and then let him run it.

Don't know where to start! £10k debt

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