How much planning went into you having children?

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  • MrsSave
    MrsSave Posts: 1,817 Forumite
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    First baby - we were newly weds and thought "let's have children". A couple of weeks later a job opportunity came up for me in work so we decided to stop trying for a while to see what happened with work, but it was too late!

    Second baby - we were going to wait until our loan was paid off, but then figured we could be looking at another 4 years and I'm in my 30s so didn't want to wait too long in case it took longer to conceive. 3 weeks after deciding I found out I was pregnant! Sadly we lost that baby, but 4 weeks after losing our baby we had another positive pregnancy test. It seems that it doesn't take too long for me to fall pregnant :rotfl: We do want a third at some point (I'm pregnant with second at the moment) and dh has decided he'd like less of an age gap between 2 and 3 so we'll see!!
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  • Andrew_Ryan_89
    Andrew_Ryan_89 Posts: 530 Forumite
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    MrsSave wrote: »
    First baby - we were newly weds and thought "let's have children". A couple of weeks later a job opportunity came up for me in work so we decided to stop trying for a while to see what happened with work, but it was too late!

    Lol, that's exactly my situation and one of the reasons I started this thread :T

    Without going into too much detail, there was a very slight concern that it would be a little bit harder for my girlfriend to conceive. On top of this, we kept being told that it won't happen straight away and usually takes a few months so we decided to start trying before we got married. After "doing it" 3 times, we stopped and decided to wait until after a wedding where we would have a better understanding of where we are financially and career wise.

    Too late. First girlfriend had a day where she was throwing up, stomach cramps, headaches etc. Breast started to get firm and period was late. Done two pregnancy test and got the positive results. Just before however, she accepted a role somewhere else.

    We'll find out this week just how pregnant she is after we see a doctor but it's looking like she may not be eligible to maternity pay. The sensible side of me is thinking we should have waited a little but to be honest, I am so happy at this point I could not care less!
  • Stevie_Palimo
    Stevie_Palimo Posts: 3,306 Forumite
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    Mine was a accident and I shall say so later down the line when they become an annoying teenager and start throwing tantrums, :)

    Glad it happened and am hoping to have a second within a short period of time all being well so that they hopefully can get on well enough being of similar age.
  • southoftheriver
    southoftheriver Posts: 531 Forumite
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    We've been married for 1 year, I'm 8 months pregnant. I wanted to be married before getting pregnant, hubby wanted us to have our first home but unfortunately that is still a few years off despite having well paid jobs and minimal debt.

    We just decided to go for it, I'm 31 and work in fertility so know that sometimes people push it too far and fertility treatment is expensive!
    Current debt: M&S £0(£2K) , Tesco £0 (£1.5K), Car loan 6K (paid off!) Barclaycard £1.5K (interest free for 18 months)
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Newbie
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    We knew we wanted kids after we were married - at least 2. Both had stable jobs and owned a house together. Wifey has a medical condition that meant we didn't know if we could have kids, or how long it would take.

    Obviously, she was up the duff 3 months after the wedding. Prior to this, we'd had a few false positives with pregnancy tests, which were quite emotional. The birth was rather traumatic, and we then got told the chances of having another one were slim. 18 months later, Wifey was preggers for the second time; defeating medical science.

    We'd probably like a 3rd, but realistically, we couldn't afford to give our kids a great lifestyle with another mouth to feed/house ect

    Financially - we made sure to have a decent nest egg to cover my wife's maternity leave. Both times she was off for a year - thank goodness for NHS maternity policies. We'd also been given a lot of cash and vouchers for wedding presents, that we saved up and used to buy all our baby stuff with.

    We had to move house when the 2nd came along, as we didn't have enough room - pregnancy and house selling/buying is a harsh combination.
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,172 Forumite
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    Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

    Worst case scenario, if we couldn't cope financially we could always rent out the house and move in with one of our parents.

    This sticks out for me, and I know it's a worst case scenario, if I did come to this I advise before you did this to research on whether you want to be in the landlord business - the law, tenets rights etc
  • baby_lemonade
    baby_lemonade Posts: 843 Forumite
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    Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »
    We'll find out this week just how pregnant she is after we see a doctor but it's looking like she may not be eligible to maternity pay.

    Congratulations to you both, but this bit ^^ is probably why a lot of employers (on the quiet) don't like to employ women. She's not even started the job yet, but wants time off and maternity pay!:eek:
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Newbie
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    cjdavies wrote: »
    This sticks out for me, and I know it's a worst case scenario, if I did come to this I advise before you did this to research on whether you want to be in the landlord business - the law, tenets rights etc
    We moved into our inlaws when our second son was 3 months old. The new house was being redecorated/renovated and we'd sold the old one.

    Would I ever repeat it? Oh god no.
  • Andrew_Ryan_89
    Andrew_Ryan_89 Posts: 530 Forumite
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    baby_lemonade wrote: »
    Congratulations to you both, but this bit ^^ is probably why a lot of employers (on the quiet) don't like to employ women. She's not even started the job yet, but wants time off and maternity pay!:eek:

    And I agree to be honest, so does she. However, she would rather work there for 6 months, not be "successful" with her probation period or not be entitled to maternity, than stay where she currently is any longer.
  • Meepmeep
    Meepmeep Posts: 69 Forumite
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    I regret leaving it to try until late. Not because, as the tabloid press want to make out, I was too busy with my career, but because I didn't meet the right person until late. We dated 2 years before trying and now it's likely too late due to fertility problems. Not saying it would have happened if we'd started a year earlier, but there would have been more of a chance.

    So I think it's dependent on your age - if you're in your early 20s then it may make sense to get some financial / housing ducks in a row first. But by the time you're in your 30s id just go for it! You never know how long it will take. Everyone I know seems to have fallen into the -worked straight away camp or it has taken years / there are problems.
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