£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

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Comments

  • Just want to echo what others have said about your progress. I think it's great that you stay so motivated and positively face a pretty daunting mountain to climb.

    Something that has helped me a lot, just to get a grip on things overall - I read somewhere that your budget should be 50% on essentials, 20% on paying off debt or saving, and 30% on choices - non-essentials everyone needs to keep life interesting and not just a complete grind. I've put master categories in my YNAB so I can see on the reports how far away from those percentages I am.

    I count clothes, pet expenses, alcohol and kids activities as choices. Essentials include food and fuel as well as household running costs, insurances etc.

    It actually makes me feel better, before that I was thinking I spent almost everything on "essentials" but now I can see I am keeping it fairly well balanced, and 20% on debt/savings feels achievable now (it didn't at first).
    GC Feb 2019 (to 10th) £397.07/£300
  • I read every morning TOPM and love your enthusiasm for life and getting the most out of it. Also great to see your debt figure slowly coming down.

    Am I right in thinking that your family and friends arent aware of the amount od debt you are in?

    If this is right then I think that this also could hamper your progress.

    Where presents for birthdays and Christmas are concerned.........we are all guilty of wanting to show our loved ones how much we care and especially young children at christmas.
    We also dont want others to perceive we are being less than generous so we spend more than necessary to keep up appearances.

    If I'm barking up the wrong tree then please feel free to ignore me but it's something that could be addressed by explaining to close family what the situation is. Very difficult I know and understand people not wanting to share too much info.
    Make £10 a Day Feb .....£75.... March... £65......April...£90.....May £20.....June £35.......July £60
  • Busy_Mee1 wrote: »
    Hi TOPM - you have been getting a lot of tough love on here and it is great to see that you have accepted it in such a positive way and in the spirit that it has been given. Everyone really enjoys your diary and I would hate to see you get disheartened.

    I actually think you you can tackle your debt yourself, you are bright and talented and work incredibly hard. Your light bulb is turning on ( not quite burning as brightly as it should be ) but you have made such progress over the course of your diary.

    In just the last couple of weeks you have gone from not even contemplating cutting out school dinners for your son, to providing lunch much more cheaply and learning that he really hasn't suffered. You now need to have a tough and frugal few months and I think you will start to turn a corner.

    The only worry is Christmas is not very far away and this could derail you completely. I think you need to start planning now for the most frugal Christmas ever seen in the TOPM household. Start by critically looking at who you buy gifts for and have a cull. Set a small budget for each of the children, they are young and just want lots of parcels, so make the Pound shop, HB and B&M your friend. There are lots of good ideas for frugal gifts across the MSE boards that should help

    You probably also need to build a fund - sell things, save £1 a day in a jar, start earning vouchers by doing surveys. Do whatever you can, but with the aim of funding Christmas without using your credit card. If you can't afford it, you shouldn't be buying it !

    Your grasshopper outfit sounds fab, far more creative than anything I have produced ( my kids' fancy dress costumes, all consisted of a tabard with a belt - grey tabard for a knight, green one for Robin Hood and a white one for an angel ....you get the picture !)

    I hope you have a great day and enjoy the surfing :T
    Current tactic for Christmas is out and out denial. Even doing it on a budget we are so far off being able to meet the costs of it. Luckily we don't particularly do many gifts apart from for DC - I tend to do some foodie gifts for family that we see, and one particularly close friend I buy for the children of, but that's it. I think once we've seen the lie of the land after this month we can start to think about Christmas (and start panicking accordingly).
    I think you are getting better at budgeting and knowing where your money goes. A dmp will not sort your family debt and will impact on mortgage and extension plans. You are still getting 0% deals and not missing payments so I don't think you would be any better off taking that route now.

    Carry on monitoring spending and try for increased income for you maybe until your youngest is full time at school
    Thank you ES, this is more or less the plan, assuming no major bumps in the road like my income coming to a standstill.
    Wysiwyg49 wrote: »
    Just want to echo what others have said about your progress. I think it's great that you stay so motivated and positively face a pretty daunting mountain to climb.

    Something that has helped me a lot, just to get a grip on things overall - I read somewhere that your budget should be 50% on essentials, 20% on paying off debt or saving, and 30% on choices - non-essentials everyone needs to keep life interesting and not just a complete grind. I've put master categories in my YNAB so I can see on the reports how far away from those percentages I am.

    I count clothes, pet expenses, alcohol and kids activities as choices. Essentials include food and fuel as well as household running costs, insurances etc.

    It actually makes me feel better, before that I was thinking I spent almost everything on "essentials" but now I can see I am keeping it fairly well balanced, and 20% on debt/savings feels achievable now (it didn't at first).
    I daren't even work that out - whatever our percentages are, they're staying fixed for now! We probably aren't a million miles off those percentages though, now I think about it.
    Trying to figure out a whole new life. Trying to figure out a whole new budget.
    Divorcing, unclear on final debt total right now, but focusing on building a financial buffer zone.
  • I read every morning TOPM and love your enthusiasm for life and getting the most out of it. Also great to see your debt figure slowly coming down.

    Am I right in thinking that your family and friends arent aware of the amount od debt you are in?

    If this is right then I think that this also could hamper your progress.

    Where presents for birthdays and Christmas are concerned.........we are all guilty of wanting to show our loved ones how much we care and especially young children at christmas.
    We also dont want others to perceive we are being less than generous so we spend more than necessary to keep up appearances.

    If I'm barking up the wrong tree then please feel free to ignore me but it's something that could be addressed by explaining to close family what the situation is. Very difficult I know and understand people not wanting to share too much info.
    Not even an option, unfortunately. We would only tell close family if it was a real life or death (or losing the house) type situation. Luckily none of my family expect extravagant gifts, so it isn't a huge problem.
    Trying to figure out a whole new life. Trying to figure out a whole new budget.
    Divorcing, unclear on final debt total right now, but focusing on building a financial buffer zone.
  • Had a fab surfing lesson today, despite the crazy wind! Lovely to get away from all the stresses of work for a couple of hours.

    Other than that today has been about trucking on through the many work admin things to do (mainly website related). I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel though, finally. I think I will be on track for website launch next Friday, without having sacrificed any other work that needed doing along the line. The house has been entirely sacrificed, however. Ho hum.

    I was thinking, as I made chicken and leek pasties today, how many meals we used to get out of a chicken when it was just DH, me and baby DC1. It was a lot. And I used to be so smug, thinking I was stretching it really well. Which I was, obviously, but it helped that there were only two people really eating it, and neither of us are big meat eaters. Today's chicken has made about 15 mini pasties (about 8 packed lunches worth) plus about 1.5 meals worth of chicken soup for all of us (so about 8 portions). So that's a lot of portions - about 16 out of one chicken - but it will feel like it hasn't lasted any time at all, because 16 portions is only three and a bit meals now that there are five of us! Vegetarian eating is sooooo much cheaper.

    to do today
    1. make chicken and leek pasties. Done. Millions of them, so plenty of packed lunches for very little money (only used about 1/3 of the chicken).
    2. make flapjacks and muffins for lunch boxes. Done. Millions, again.
    3. buy wrapping paper and ribbon for DC1's birthday presents. Not done, didn't go into town.
    4. website work. Done, although more to come tomorrow.
    5. surfing lesson! Done, yay!
    6. clear some of the list of non-urgent-but-essential small jobs/emails etc that has carried over every day for the last week because I've been too busy to look at it. Progress made. Not a lot, but better than nothing.

    to do this week
    1. keep the packed lunches coming in on budget. Going surprisingly well.
    2. pick up the social media again, which has fallen very much by the wayside recently, and does help increase income.
    3. ebay old pram now that DC3 has stopped using it. It's got a broken part, but might get £20 for spares as it was a really expensive one originally (nine years ago! One of those 'buy better, buy once' incidents, where we researched obsessively for weeks and ended up with the perfect pram, which has survived all three DC and only broke a couple of weeks ago Good timing, as DC3 is 3.5).

    to do this month
    1. keep the total spend for the month below £3,500 (last month was miles better than the previous average £3,900, going to try to repeat the feat).
    2. get my new website finished and launched (crosses fingers, toes and eyes).
    3. just work as much as possible and make some money back to recover the enormous shortfall that faces us this month!
    Trying to figure out a whole new life. Trying to figure out a whole new budget.
    Divorcing, unclear on final debt total right now, but focusing on building a financial buffer zone.
  • I think some replies have been quite harsh and you do so well at taking it on board. To be fair I'd have probably ran a mile.

    If you read back at the start the first few pages and where you are now, you have made an amazing amount of changes in such a short time.

    There will always be bumps in the road. Some bigger than others.

    Just know that you are doing your best and that's all anyone can do x
  • Three full meals for a family of 5, for a chicken, is still excellent to me! I made a roast chicken for my lot the other day on an evening when I was going out with a friend so it was just Mr E and the two girls (5 and 8 y/o) eating it. I did lots and lots of veg. And it was a good, quality, higher-welfare 2kg chicken. So I had, like, "chicken curry" and "chicken burritos" on the meal plan for future meals for the leftovers, because obviously. And I got home, and there was half a chicken breast and a few bits clinging to the carcass left. I made a chicken noodle soup with it for the kids' dinner the next night and then sulked a bit.

    I wanted to also acknowledge that your grocery budget is brilliant! £140 for a week with lots of expensive extras like lightbulbs is amazing. You'll be on a £400/month budget before you know it.
    MFW diary here. 1 Feb 2017 $229,371 - MFD Feb 2043 :eek: aiming for May 2028
    14 August 2017 - Refinanced: $220,000
    January 2019 $211,580 Current MFD 31 June 2036
  • I think some replies have been quite harsh and you do so well at taking it on board. To be fair I'd have probably ran a mile.

    If you read back at the start the first few pages and where you are now, you have made an amazing amount of changes in such a short time.

    There will always be bumps in the road. Some bigger than others.

    Just know that you are doing your best and that's all anyone can do x
    Three full meals for a family of 5, for a chicken, is still excellent to me! I made a roast chicken for my lot the other day on an evening when I was going out with a friend so it was just Mr E and the two girls (5 and 8 y/o) eating it. I did lots and lots of veg. And it was a good, quality, higher-welfare 2kg chicken. So I had, like, "chicken curry" and "chicken burritos" on the meal plan for future meals for the leftovers, because obviously. And I got home, and there was half a chicken breast and a few bits clinging to the carcass left. I made a chicken noodle soup with it for the kids' dinner the next night and then sulked a bit.

    I wanted to also acknowledge that your grocery budget is brilliant! £140 for a week with lots of expensive extras like lightbulbs is amazing. You'll be on a £400/month budget before you know it.
    Thank you both - lovely to wake up to such supportive messages. Sometimes the harsh ones are a bit alarming, but there's no point getting upset - even the most unpleasant messages sometimes have some useful ideas or new ways of looking at things and you never know where the next genius MS idea is going to come from, so I focus on taking the positive bits and leave the rest on the page.

    Armchairexpert I'm laughing at your chicken sulk!
    Trying to figure out a whole new life. Trying to figure out a whole new budget.
    Divorcing, unclear on final debt total right now, but focusing on building a financial buffer zone.
  • Treadingonplaymobil
    Treadingonplaymobil Posts: 1,895
    First Anniversary First Post
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    edited 14 September 2017 at 8:52AM
    Week 31: Day 5

    Man, I ache this morning. Surfing always totally wipes me out. Wish I could get to do it more often and improve my fitness levels for it. When I'm rich....!

    I have a coffee this morning with someone about some potential work next year. It won't be well paid but I'm so keen to do it - it will involve leading workshops with groups of women on their body positivity and helping them improve their confidence, which is a huge part of why I do what I do, so I'm really hoping it comes off. Fingers crossed.

    The forecast isn't great today, so I'm going to have to hang laundry all over the house, which is tiresome.

    Tonight's MS pudding is going to use up the last of the blackcurrants I rescued from the freezer (I have been having a spoonful on top of my breakfast most mornings too). I'm going to make a subbed version of berry lemon pudding I think, I've made it before and I think it should work. Will pull out something else random and unidentified once they're gone and start to work through it. All the mysterious tupperwares are going to get extracted and used up! Speaking of which, I really need to organise our tupperware cupboard. It is a landslide waiting to happen.

    The budgets continues to look horrifying, although the projected spend for the month is still a shade under £3,500. It's just that so much of that spend is due to be on CC thanks to terrible income for me in July/August/early September. Middle of next week I have some work I can invoice for immediately, which will start to slooooowwwwwllly improve things, although I really could do with some bookings in the diary to make me a little more relaxed. Just need to manage my expectations a little at the moment - focusing on getting this website launched will hopefully pay off fairly quickly, but while I'm focused 100% on getting it up and running there's going to be a dip in business as I won't have time to promote myself elsewhere.

    to do today
    1. make sourdough.
    2. extract some leftovers from the freezer for dinner.
    3. buy wrapping paper and ribbon for DC1's birthday presents. Oh, and a lemon for the berry lemon pudding.
    4. website work.
    5. clear some more of the list of non-urgent-but-essential small jobs/emails etc that has carried over every day for the last week because I've been too busy to look at it.
    6. organise the tupperware cupboard!
    7. check with school how much I owe for DC1's lunches from the first couple of days of this term (I think I also owe for the last few days of last term too) and pay for them.

    to do this week
    1. keep the packed lunches coming in on budget. Going surprisingly well.
    2. pick up the social media again, which has fallen very much by the wayside recently, and does help increase income.
    3. ebay old pram now that DC3 has stopped using it. It's got a broken part, but might get £20 for spares as it was a really expensive one originally (nine years ago! One of those 'buy better, buy once' incidents, where we researched obsessively for weeks and ended up with the perfect pram, which has survived all three DC and only broke a couple of weeks ago Good timing, as DC3 is 3.5).

    to do this month
    1. keep the total spend for the month below £3,500 (last month was miles better than the previous average £3,900, going to try to repeat the feat).
    2. get my new website finished and launched (crosses fingers, toes and eyes).
    3. just work as much as possible and make some money back to recover the enormous shortfall that faces us this month!
    Trying to figure out a whole new life. Trying to figure out a whole new budget.
    Divorcing, unclear on final debt total right now, but focusing on building a financial buffer zone.
  • I focus on taking the positive bits and leave the rest on the page.
    Good for you. I read your diary every day and I think you're doing amazingly well. You seem to pack so much into your day and you've drastically changed your spending habits, You are such a positive person I'm sure you'll get there. Might take a wee while but you will.
    Have adventures. laugh a lot and always be kind.
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