Not a LBM but awareness of heading towards debt crisis

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

We rubbed each other up the wrong way terribly after a while and it contributed heavily to my impulse purchase of my own house when I was just turned 19. We stuck it out 6 months, any longer and I think we would have irreparably damaged our relationship.

I had myself put into care when I was 16 (it would have been sooner but for arguments between mental health inpatient services and social services). What my parents did to me growing up has had a HUGE impact on the development of my mental illness. We gradually repaired our relationship while I was in care, it was actually only a couple of years ago that I first even spent a night in the same house as them again.

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

And remember that if your mum and dad aren't charging you any board etc, then you are costing her money to feed and house. Maybe a bit of typing for free would be a nice thing... My mum didn't charge me anything to allow me to save so I helped by going to do the shopping, and went to see my grandparents, and did tonnes of washing and drying. I tried very hard to keep out of the way and not to impact on the household.

Hugs. It is a fine line balancing when you are back at home. I don't know anyone that hasn't really struggled with it after a while xxx

Honestly Lilt, I'm not costing Mum money, beyond an extra potato at each meal which she buys in 25kg sacks. What upset me was her telling me that I should be giving Dad petrol for taking me to appointments and everything. Now, she usually has this whole huge thing about her money being hers to do with as she likes and Dad's being Dad's to do with as he likes. Petrol money is something that I have brought up with Dad before, suggesting that perhaps I should give him my weekly petrol budget (which incidently I bought new shoes out of to replace my worn out ones as I can't drive at the moment), and I told Mum this, adding that it wouldn't cover going back and forth to my doctors surgery and mental health appointments, that it would barely cover it from my place.

What Mum, and evidently you, don't appear to realise is that during summer months (when I'm not running the heating) the running costs of my caravan are the same whether I am there or not. I still have to pay the extortionate water bill that they've added this year next month, despite not being there or using any water at all during the quarter.

Lilt, I have no space here, I don't even have a bed, I have a mattress on the floor. Mum moves my stuff. She hides my stuff (including my medication!). Mum wanders in and out of the room they let me sleep in without asking (in a huge contrast to my Dad who asks me <and it's "his" room> before going in to get things from there).

Mum was telling me a few weeks back about how she didn't tell my Grandad much about how ill I was because he was ashamed of mental illness (he had epilepsy due to a head injury as a child and his parents didn't even tell him till he left home!), but my step-Grandmother, who I first met on their wedding day, told me that Grandad had told her all about my problems and that she was always there for a chat.

I think it's Mum that is ashamed of having mentally ill children.

I am so so angry at a health service that let it get to this point. A year ago, literally a whole fricking year ago, they were supposed to be admitting me into hospital to get me on medication and stabalised so I could go back to work. But the CHRT told me there were no beds in the country, then wrote in my notes that I declined hospital admission.

Had they actually put some early intervention in I would still have a job and some independance.

There is a world of difference between 'oh I'll move back home to save some money' and 'my parents have forced me back into their home because I am unable to care for myself and the mental health services are incapable of offering appropriate support so our daughter doesn't kill herself'.