Do you expect your kids to ask for food....

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  • rach_k
    rach_k Posts: 2,235 Forumite
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    Mine have helped themselves to healthy snacks since they were able to reach them. IMO, what they eat is about them not me and as long as they're not being greedy or making a mess it's nothing to do with manners as the food in the kitchen belongs to the family. I'm not there to dole out food as I see fit, I'm there to guide them so that they make good choices for themselves. They know what's healthy and what isn't and they know to ask if it's getting close to a meal time. I like the idea of them taking some responsibility for what they eat and when. They don't abuse it, in fact they're both very sensible about food. They have some treats that they help themselves to as well - they know that once they're gone they're gone for the week and, so far, they've always been very responsible. They're 5 and 7 years old, both average height and weight.
  • Rosemary7391
    Rosemary7391 Posts: 2,879 Forumite
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    I always asked. Usually to head off Dad's complaints that I'd eaten all his bananas! ;)
  • borkid
    borkid Posts: 2,475 Forumite
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    MissBessie wrote: »
    My kids are 33, 29 and 20 so maybe my ideas are bit old fashioned but they always had to ask for food. As a parent, it's surely part of your job to know what they are eating? Not only that but I think it's good manners
    Mine are a little older than yours and they always asked. Even now when daughter visits she asks. I think it's just good manners. I never take OH chocolate without asking ( he keeps chocolate for ages it just sits there tempting me but I never would just take it ) he's never said no though.

    A couple of years ago one of our neighbours came in and started eating the chocolates that were out. I was furious and took them off him. They were special in that they were handmade by the donor and given as a present. Needless to say they weren't invited in again.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
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    rach_k wrote: »
    Mine have helped themselves to healthy snacks since they were able to reach them.

    They know what's healthy and what isn't and they know to ask if it's getting close to a meal time.

    I like the idea of them taking some responsibility for what they eat and when.
    Rosemary7391 wrote: »
    I always asked. Usually to head off Dad's complaints that I'd eaten all his bananas! ;)

    We were more like rach but I did like them to check with me if there was something different in the kitchen or we were running low on something. Very annoying if the cook has planned a menu only to find someone has scoffed an essential ingredient!

    It was more 'is it okay to have ...' or 'are you keeping x for anything special' than asking permission as such.
  • trixie73
    trixie73 Posts: 933 Forumite
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    Mine are grown up now, but when they were young they had to ask. Not just so I could gauge what they were eating, but so they didn't eat all the stuff I'd bought for packed lunches,lol.
  • Spendless
    Spendless Posts: 24,137 Forumite
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    I can't remember. But their height and lack of ability to make things (like a sandwich) would have restricted what they could reach/have. That can be a downside if you always expect them to ask you, they can get to an age where they are more than capable of getting something themselves, but continue to ask you to do it for them.
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
    borkid wrote: »

    A couple of years ago one of our neighbours came in and started eating the chocolates that were out. I was furious and took them off him. They were special in that they were handmade by the donor and given as a present. Needless to say they weren't invited in again.

    I have to say, I wouldn't have left them out if they weren't to be eaten!
  • Kim_kim
    Kim_kim Posts: 3,726 Forumite
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    rach_k wrote: »
    Mine have helped themselves to healthy snacks since they were able to reach them. IMO, what they eat is about them not me and as long as they're not being greedy or making a mess it's nothing to do with manners as the food in the kitchen belongs to the family. I'm not there to dole out food as I see fit, I'm there to guide them so that they make good choices for themselves. They know what's healthy and what isn't and they know to ask if it's getting close to a meal time. I like the idea of them taking some responsibility for what they eat and when. They don't abuse it, in fact they're both very sensible about food. They have some treats that they help themselves to as well - they know that once they're gone they're gone for the week and, so far, they've always been very responsible. They're 5 and 7 years old, both average height and weight.

    I was pretty much like you, but my "kid" is now 30.
    I think it's odd having to ask permission to eat food in your own home, to be honest.
  • clairec79
    clairec79 Posts: 2,512 Forumite
    Mine pretty much ask, snacks they do ask for (although if I'm not in the teens may just take it - they used to text and ask) however at lunch time the elder three (all over 13) will just go and make their lunch without asking 'can I have X'

    The answer is usually yes or 'no, but you can have something else' - if what they want is earmarked for something else - for example the only fruit their younger brother will eat is bananas and his school insist on fruit for their breaktime snack - if an older one wants a banana in the evening, there's only one left but there are several apples and oranges I would say they couldn't have the banana but could have a different piece of fruit
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,199 Forumite
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    I don't have kids, but growing up, it varied by age. When very young we would ask. Then gradually became more independent. I think at 6 it would have been fine to take an apple or other fruit from the fruit bowl, but would have had to ask for anything other than that.
    As we got older then it would be fine to make a sandwich or bowl of cereal or similar things, but we had to check first before using things such as meat where they were likely to be part of a meal plan, and to let whoever was cooking know if you were not planning to eat with the rest of the family so they don't cook too much.
    We would also be expected to ask before helping ourselves to treats such as cakes or chocolate (mostly, I suspect, because when we were small those things were in limited supply and my parents wanted to ensure that thy were being air to all of us!)

    I seem to recall when visiting friends who have young children it's normal for them to ask first
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
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