Renovations and Repayments.
Comments
-
I wouldn't worry about taking a job from someone else Alex , I don't think there'll be a queue! I was horrified to notice today that an entry level Assistant Manager at Lidl earns more for a starting salary than a teacher!
Incidentally your father doesn't need to learn his tables above x10. 10x16=160, 3x16=48 Total =208 Simple!0 -
Alex, a friend of mine is leaving to teach abroad in September, so you can cancel that out and not worry about taking up the place anymore.
Sorry to hear about your parents, it sounds like they have a lot of anxiety and issues but whereas you recognised this in yourself and have made fantastic leaps in your confidence and mental wellbeing as a result, they are almost clinging to it.
If you need to take time away from the, don't feel bad. It must be draining and you can't solve their problems for them unless you acquire a magic wand from somewhere.
Glad you had a good half term, next hols is the lovely long six weeks, I bet you're looking forward to it?0 -
Alex, I'm sorry your parents are giving you a hard time, I agree with everyone else though; you are parenting your son your way and I think they are jealous of the warm and loving relationship between you and LittleK as it highlights the fact that it isn't there a generation back.
Do NOT beat yourself up or walk away from your course. It will be tough and you will meet some awful kids. However, schools are crying out for decent teachers. You would not be denying anyone a job - schools cannot get people to fill them.
I'm not sure whether or not I have suggested this before (apologies if I am repeating myself but it's the end of a long week). Get yourself onto the TES forums (under Community on the main website). There is one called Thinking about Teaching and another for student teachers. Then have a browse of the jobs. I think you'll be amazing, if you want to come to visit a different secondary music department, please PM me.
Thanks, madmel.
My father is upset with himself. This has been an ongoing thing that seems to reoccur every once in a while; he'll tell me he regrets parenting decisions he made but then (at a later date) behave in the manner he has told me he regrets. Tonight I went there because he called saying he wanted to speak to me. He wanted to talk about the period leading to the mental breakdown I had in my late twenties. We were practically estranged for a couple of years before then but father now tells me he apparently wishes I could have spoken to him and it could have all been "prevented". The fact he wants to talk about this is difficult, to be honest.
:rotfl: I've met plenty of "awful kids" already, so quite prepared for that. I know there's a lot of children without guidance, discipline or respect for others. However, there are also a lot of good and motivated ones out there too. I will not be giving up due to the children involved. I would like to have a career in teaching, all being well.
Had a look for jobs the other week, there did seem quite a few fairly locally and I am on TES but not registered and don't post. Thank you for your kind offer, I have a lot happening this half term, so not really sure of my schedule yet.I wouldn't worry about taking a job from someone else Alex , I don't think there'll be a queue! I was horrified to notice today that an entry level Assistant Manager at Lidl earns more for a starting salary than a teacher!
Incidentally your father doesn't need to learn his tables above x10. 10x16=160, 3x16=48 Total =208 Simple!
I thought primary to be more competitive in the jobs market than secondary? I know there are more jobs but thought there were many more candidates and there wasn't a recruitment crisis in the primary sector (government teaching bursaries for secondary Maths / Science subjects = £25,000-£30,000, whereas for primary it's £3,000 for trainees with a First).
:eek: Re. the Lidl vs. teaching salaries. That must be due to the pay freeze in teaching. To be honest, I think I've said on here before that I do not think the salaries for classroom teachers reflect the responsibility of the job.
:rotfl: Funny you should mention multiplying numbers larger than 10, I have been (re)learning a lot of these methods in preparation for September. My father has always been good at arithmetic. He finds the constant pressure is causing him stress; mother collates the results once per week and becomes obsessive about the state of his mind if she notices anything of a slight negative correlation as well as being convinced that the tests will prevent things getting worse. I think it's her way of coping with them getting older and gives her something to do. On an unrelated note, a few days ago I found her in the roof of the garage having climbed a ladder retrieving a part for father's old car that I'd promised to help her replace. She'd be really annoyed if she knew this but that concerned me and my wife said she'd be concerned if it were her mother or father at the age mine are.Red-Squirrel wrote: »Alex, a friend of mine is leaving to teach abroad in September, so you can cancel that out and not worry about taking up the place anymore.
Sorry to hear about your parents, it sounds like they have a lot of anxiety and issues but whereas you recognised this in yourself and have made fantastic leaps in your confidence and mental wellbeing as a result, they are almost clinging to it.
If you need to take time away from the, don't feel bad. It must be draining and you can't solve their problems for them unless you acquire a magic wand from somewhere.
Glad you had a good half term, next hols is the lovely long six weeks, I bet you're looking forward to it? Thanks, Red Squirrel!
:rotfl: I think you're right about the magic wand. Next week I need to be there less.
Definitely looking forward to summer. Holiday planned and having a repeat trip to RW, not sure what else is happening but it will be good.2018 totals:
Savings £11,200
Mortgage Overpayments £5,5000 -
June Targets:
Organise Summer holiday: 1. Trip to R.W. 2. Holiday.
Debts: Pay £1,500 from the balance (£6,500 :eek:
).
Total Grocery Spend: £90 / £400.
11.30pm bedtime: /20 - Need to get back to this.
Meditation: 1/21. Need to also get back to this.
Spreadsheets / Money tracking: This is happening.
De-clutter and Sell: / 3 items. One needs to be the car I've been meaning to sell for months.
Books read for pleasure: / 2
Learn something new or refine a skill: 1. Continue learning and applying new knowledge to create more sophisticated and streamlined spreadsheets. 2. Learn a new piece of repertoire.2018 totals:
Savings £11,200
Mortgage Overpayments £5,5000 -
A conversation takes two, Alex - he now wants to talk about it, but you don't sound like you do. You're entitled to act on that - I understand you want to help your dad, so cutting the conversation down might be in order.My father is upset with himself. This has been an ongoing thing that seems to reoccur every once in a while; he'll tell me he regrets parenting decisions he made but then (at a later date) behave in the manner he has told me he regrets. Tonight I went there because he called saying he wanted to speak to me. He wanted to talk about the period leading to the mental breakdown I had in my late twenties. We were practically estranged for a couple of years before then but father now tells me he apparently wishes I could have spoken to him and it could have all been "prevented". The fact he wants to talk about this is difficult, to be honest.
OMG, I'm really sorry to "diagnose" over the interwebulator, but the control issues your mum is acting on are huuuuuge! She's *causing* your dad stress with the constant testing, and she's endangering herself by climbing a ladder to retrieve a part for the car.Funny you should mention multiplying numbers larger than 10, I have been (re)learning a lot of these methods in preparation for September. My father has always been good at arithmetic. He finds the constant pressure is causing him stress; mother collates the results once per week and becomes obsessive about the state of his mind if she notices anything of a slight negative correlation as well as being convinced that the tests will prevent things getting worse. I think it's her way of coping with them getting older and gives her something to do. On an unrelated note, a few days ago I found her in the roof of the garage having climbed a ladder retrieving a part for father's old car that I'd promised to help her replace. She'd be really annoyed if she knew this but that concerned me and my wife said she'd be concerned if it were her mother or father at the age mine are.
Your own viewpoint, your own needs, your own ideas ... they're all valid, Alex.Save2023: the year I get to buy a car0 -
I think it's more about the competition with trying to recruit maths and science graduates with bursaries. It would take a very dedicated soul to pass up the huge salaries available in the private sector to become, say, an IT teacher in a secondary school. In primary, the issue is more about retention as it's such a tough job particularly with all the curriculum changes and assessment requirements leading to huge workload stress. Then it becomes very difficult to get people to take on leadership roles. Headteacher Posts end up being advertised and re-advertised and many schools have Executive Headteachers covering several schools to cope with the shortages (and up the salary).
There could actually become a surplus of teachers in the next few years if the funding cuts go ahead but (to reassure you:)) governors will always want a man in a primary school so you have an advantage to start with plus NQTs are cheap!:D
ETA: You might want to look at schoolcuts.org.uk for schools in your area. These are projected cuts if the government was to go ahead with the' Fair 'Funding formula. What we don't know now is which, if any, of their policies they'll be able to implement.0 -
HI Alex, to back up what others have said you have to give it a go I think you will make a great teacher.
Try to not focus too much on your parents , they have their health, each other, you nearby and enough money to pay for help if needed. I don't think it gets better than that they are very lucky!2022 MFW 67 - 33 month challenge to clear mortgage, month 17 completed and and extra 2 knocked off 🙂MFI3 No.120 -
Hi Alex. We don't want teachers who NEED the job, but those who will do a GOOD job.
Sounds like your folks are stomping on your boundaries again.0 -
OMG, I'm really sorry to "diagnose" over the interwebulator, but the control issues your mum is acting on are huuuuuge! She's *causing* your dad stress with the constant testing,Save
Just to add to what Karmacat is saying - stress (if your Dad is showing early signs of dementia) is very bad for people with dementia. Your mother would be far better getting him a book of puzzles to do to keep his brain active rather than testing him. There are some puzzle magazines (back numbers now as they are no longer published unfortunately) which are very maths or logic based rather than crosswords if he would prefer that. Try looking at 'Tough Puzzles' as they are doing some of the back numbers - try the puzzler dot com website if you think he may be interested.
Also if he has loved doing maths type things since being young that will not be what he forgets. He is more likely to forget how to get to the local petrol station.
Of course, if you really wanted to put the cat among the pigeons, you could suggest that she gets him to play fizz buzz with her! For those that don't know - you take turns in counting from 1 upwards and say fizz for anything divisible by 3 & buzz for 5.0 -
June Targets:
Organise Summer holiday: 1. Trip to R.W. 2. Holiday.
Debts: Pay £1,500 from the balance (£6,500 ).
Total Grocery Spend: £90 / £400.
11.30pm bedtime: /20 - Need to get back to this.
Meditation: 2/21. Need to also get back to this.
Spreadsheets / Money tracking: This is happening.
De-clutter and Sell: / 3 items. One needs to be the car I've been meaning to sell for months.
Books read for pleasure: / 2
Learn something new or refine a skill: 1. Continue learning and applying new knowledge to create more sophisticated and streamlined spreadsheets. 2. Learn a new piece of repertoire - practised and started another piece of repertoire tonight..
Managed to get out walking today, despite the weather. However, so much for having a day off from my parents. All was going well until my father called asking if he could spend the evening with us. Reluctantly we agreed as it was such a strange request. I've not known him fall out with mother but he has today (all to do with her blaming me for him being upset / having regrets about the past), so we had my father here for the evening. It's the first time he's seen our new bathroom and was really impressed with it.A conversation takes two, Alex - he now wants to talk about it, but you don't sound like you do. You're entitled to act on that - I understand you want to help your dad, so cutting the conversation down might be in order.
OMG, I'm really sorry to "diagnose" over the interwebulator, but the control issues your mum is acting on are huuuuuge! She's *causing* your dad stress with the constant testing, and she's endangering herself by climbing a ladder to retrieve a part for the car.
Your own viewpoint, your own needs, your own ideas ... they're all valid, Alex.Save
Thanks, karmacat.
You're right, I don't want to talk about it. I suppose I'm only just beginning to move on from that part of my life.
My mother is an absolute control freak and always has been. She hasn't dealt particularly well with fully retiring. Sadly, I don't think there's ever been much else in her life than working and this has become the new "work". Father admitted tonight they don't go to the old people's lunch anymore because my mother decided she didn't wish to mix with a few of the people there.I think it's more about the competition with trying to recruit maths and science graduates with bursaries. It would take a very dedicated soul to pass up the huge salaries available in the private sector to become, say, an IT teacher in a secondary school. In primary, the issue is more about retention as it's such a tough job particularly with all the curriculum changes and assessment requirements leading to huge workload stress. Then it becomes very difficult to get people to take on leadership roles. Headteacher Posts end up being advertised and re-advertised and many schools have Executive Headteachers covering several schools to cope with the shortages (and up the salary).
There could actually become a surplus of teachers in the next few years if the funding cuts go ahead but (to reassure you:)) governors will always want a man in a primary school so you have an advantage to start with plus NQTs are cheap!:D
ETA: You might want to look at schoolcuts.org.uk for schools in your area. These are projected cuts if the government was to go ahead with the' Fair 'Funding formula. What we don't know now is which, if any, of their policies they'll be able to implement.
Interesting thoughts re. science graduates. Salaries here aren't particularly high in the private sector. As an engineer, my wife could earn A LOT more elsewhere and especially abroad. I suppose she earns about the same as a primary head / deputy in a larger school and whilst she doesn't have the same level of managerial responsibility, there could be cases where if she messes up there may be lives on the line. Just before I left my previous career, I was earning more than Mrs. K does now, yet all that could really be lost was money. Therefore, I think often salaries have little to do with the actual responsibility of the job. Teaching holds a more tangible responsibility than my previous career ever did, yet I would have to be promoted to Head of a fairly large primary to realise a similar salary.
Do you think the funding cuts will go ahead? I have already looked on the schoolcuts website and I can't say I think the government is doing the right thing at all. My son's school would be losing out if the changes go ahead and I am somewhat concerned the school would have to close (there has been the possibility before).HI Alex, to back up what others have said you have to give it a go I think you will make a great teacher.
Try to not focus too much on your parents , they have their health, each other, you nearby and enough money to pay for help if needed. I don't think it gets better than that they are very lucky!
Thank you, NG.
You are ultimately right about my parents, there are older people in a lot worse position.2018 totals:
Savings £11,200
Mortgage Overpayments £5,5000
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 343K Banking & Borrowing
- 250K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 449.6K Spending & Discounts
- 235.1K Work, Benefits & Business
- 607.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 173K Life & Family
- 247.7K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards