Need help NOW!! What am i entitled too from him?
Comments
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Barneysmom wrote: »I agree, you have to talk to his CO.
He shouldn't be working while he's in such a bad frame of mind, he could demoralise everyone around him.
He needs some help.
Ive spoke to everybody, i've took it as far as i can. He's not on tour at mo, he's recently returned.
Its time for me to step down, im gutted, lifes rubbish.Better wins...Terminator goodies, St Helier his & hers tshirts, Janeo jewels bangle, Loreal mascara, £50 funky pigeon credit 4 me & a pal, save our friends giant plush panda, iggy & me books, 2 night hotel stay with Best Western, Huge Disney princess palace, cinema tix (gave away) NUFC tix (gave away) ipad & footie break, hotel in scotland!! :T:j0 -
TallBlondie wrote: ȣ54.67 tax credit.
£65.45 Income support.
£20.30 child benefit.
So that's £140.42 per week - are you getting that? Bit of a jump from £100 per week;)0 -
TallBlondie wrote: »Ive spoke to everybody, i've took it as far as i can. He's not on tour at mo, he's recently returned.
Its time for me to step down, im gutted, lifes rubbish.
Well you have obviously tried...if he's not gonna listen then you can't make him I guess.
Shame though
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TallBlondie wrote: »No i'm not, i'm losing out somewhere ain't i. Will have to speak to the jobcentre place on Monday. Thanks for your help by the way.
Normal household bills, gas, lec, tv licence etc, do they do any special payments plans for people on low income? Always paid direct debit the full amounts. I'm that much of a newbie to all this i don't even know the proper terms lol!
Fraid not...it's just a case of budgeting well (very well!!).
Dunno if it's any help but I am a lone parent and was on IS for a few years when small person was small and what I used to do was spread my DD's round the month so that they were getting paid but I wasn't shelling out a load of money at one (example would be that one week I would pay TV licence, next week it would be phone, next week insurances etc) but I would leave my gas/elec till end of month (as is usually biggest d/d) but then tuck away some money each week so that there was enough there on due date.
It's not going to be easy but to be honest you don't live a life of extreme poverty either. It's all a case of working things out and making sure you have enough in bank for bills. I also found it easier to do a weekly shop (I work now and more or less do a big monthly and top up) and defo menu plan and write your list before you go.
And finally, always give yourself a wee treat each week..only if it's a bottle of 'posh' shower gel or a trashy celeb mag
gotta make life worth living!!! 0 -
TallBlondie wrote: »No i'm not, i'm losing out somewhere ain't i. Will have to speak to the jobcentre place on Monday. Thanks for your help by the way.
If by any chance it's your CTC that's not been right then you can ask them to backdate up to 3 months of payments - better the difference in your pocket than theirs;)0 -
Its so sad that you are trying to slaughter the poor sod for every penny he has got.TallBlondie wrote: »He has totally cut off all the people who care for him, he fears we will all be made to feel the pain and loss he is feeling if something happens to him. It took me weeks to get the real reasons out of him, initally he said we had lost our spark which i knew was rubbish. Its all very sad trust me, my best friend is walking around with the world on his shoulders and i can't do nothing about it.
Ive tried, but now i have to concentrate on sorting things for our girl.
He's actually better off without you.0 -
Originally Posted by TallBlondie
He has totally cut off all the people who care for him, he fears we will all be made to feel the pain and loss he is feeling if something happens to him. It took me weeks to get the real reasons out of him, initally he said we had lost our spark which i knew was rubbish. Its all very sad trust me, my best friend is walking around with the world on his shoulders and i can't do nothing about it.
Ive tried, but now i have to concentrate on sorting things for our girl.
Its so sad that you are trying to slaughter the poor sod for every penny he has got.
He's actually better off without you.
I'm not sure how you're getting that from this post! She is entitled to 15% of his net salary towards the upbringing of their daughter. It's fairly simple.0 -
my goodness there are some judgemental people out there, aren't there? whilst we open ourselves up to comments from the world when we post in places like these, the whole story is rarely heard...it is a truly terrifying place to be when your marriage breaks down and you wonder how on earth you're going to keep a roof over your head and pay your bills. We live in a civilised society with a welfare state which helps out those of us who find ourselves in difficult circumstances. In my own case, if it wasn't for the benefit system, I would have found myself without a home and my children would have had to go and live with their father and his abusive girlfriend all because he thought the grass was greener (it wasn't, he's not so smug now!). It takes time to get your head straight and work out what you're going to do. We are living in difficult times - I have two children who would need nursery care - my earning power is pretty low (above minimum wage but still pretty low) and I have only found 14 hours work a week so I don't get childcare paid through tax credits. Luckily, my ex helps out so I have money coming in - but a few weeks ago he went on holiday at 3 days notice so I couldn't work. What then?! I am lucky not to have lost the work - but if I had, who's fault would that have been?
OP - ignore it all! claim what you need to and work out what you're going to do next when things have settled down for you. I, for one, wish you well!0 -
clearingout wrote: »my goodness there are some judgemental people out there, aren't there? whilst we open ourselves up to comments from the world when we post in places like these, the whole story is rarely heard...it is a truly terrifying place to be when your marriage breaks down and you wonder how on earth you're going to keep a roof over your head and pay your bills. We live in a civilised society with a welfare state which helps out those of us who find ourselves in difficult circumstances. In my own case, if it wasn't for the benefit system, I would have found myself without a home and my children would have had to go and live with their father and his abusive girlfriend all because he thought the grass was greener (it wasn't, he's not so smug now!). It takes time to get your head straight and work out what you're going to do. We are living in difficult times - I have two children who would need nursery care - my earning power is pretty low (above minimum wage but still pretty low) and I have only found 14 hours work a week so I don't get childcare paid through tax credits. Luckily, my ex helps out so I have money coming in - but a few weeks ago he went on holiday at 3 days notice so I couldn't work. What then?! I am lucky not to have lost the work - but if I had, who's fault would that have been?
OP - ignore it all! claim what you need to and work out what you're going to do next when things have settled down for you. I, for one, wish you well!
This comment in an early post
"So the bills and the rent come to over £500, so how much do i ask him for, for me and the baby, 2 dogs to live on happily a month? I know theres a maintenance calculator, but im hoping he ain't that tight."
Not, till I can move nearer friends/family who will help with looking after my little girl , or till I can get a job. Most people are grateful to get enough money to cover the necessities. Perhaps I have misjudged her and she is still feeling raw, wanting to hurt him as he seems to have hurt her.
Lots of people, (including myself) have been divorced and I understand the feelings of "will I be able to cope" but this sounded to me as though she hoped to be able to get him to pay extra so that she could continue to stay at home.0 -
LilacLouisa wrote: »This comment in an early post
"So the bills and the rent come to over £500, so how much do i ask him for, for me and the baby, 2 dogs to live on happily a month? I know theres a maintenance calculator, but im hoping he ain't that tight."
Not, till I can move nearer friends/family who will help with looking after my little girl , or till I can get a job. Most people are grateful to get enough money to cover the necessities. Perhaps I have misjudged her and she is still feeling raw, wanting to hurt him as he seems to have hurt her.
Lots of people, (including myself) have been divorced and I understand the feelings of "will I be able to cope" but this sounded to me as though she hoped to be able to get him to pay extra so that she could continue to stay at home.
The OP said that the reason she isn't working is that her and her OH came to an agreement that she would be a SAHM to their daughter and that he would fund this. Now he longer wants to be with his wife, maybe he still wants what he previously thought was best for his child?
They created the child and bought the dogs together, intending to care for them together. They are still a joint responsibility, not just the OP's.0
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