CMS Payments - ex-wife demanding money for childcare

TheLastOfBudge · 18 October 2016 at 12:20PM

Hey alll

So I'm currently in the process of divorcing my wife. As soon as it ended and we split, we made arrangements for CMS based on my pay and things went well. I also agreed to pay for clothes to keep at mine, as I had them once a fortnight from Friday to Monday, along with the odd Friday to Saturday in between, and I pay into their own bank accounts too.

As I'm commissioned, my wage can flucatuate, so I base it on my last P60 which works out as £381 a month. Comfy with that. However, I'm now being hounded for childcare money by her. She decided at the time of our split (in fact it was one of the reasons, as she'd grown feelings towards her boss) to work and put the kids into childcare. She now realises she only gets 70% covered and wants me to pay half of the £650 that isn't covered on top of what I pay. Now I know she's no legal right to claim this but is there a chance a court could enforce I do.

My view is that it's her choice to work, despite me not agreeing with the fact single mums are worse off. Is there any view/advice on here as to how to approach this? Could a legal approach be best? She's also restricting my times to Friday - Sunday now because I've moved about 48 miles away from where I lived and is worried about distance and totally taken away the Friday - Saturday.

foolofbeans · 18 October 2016 at 12:31PM

Single mums are worse off? That was not my recollection!
As a working, single mum I was much better off financially then we are now as a whole family unit with my husband. As well as 70% of childcare costs, your wife could receive tax credits on top of her wage and child maintenance payments are not taken into account for these calculations.
Of course if your wife has a very high salaried job then any benefits from tax credits will be reduced.

Have you agreed in writing your financial contribution? I would have thought this would be the best way to sort financial issues when divorcing. Bear in mind though that the government maintenance calculator is the MINIMUM payments you should contribute for your children. You both made them so you should both pay for them.

Guest101 · 18 October 2016 at 12:32PM

Divorce courts are strange beings.

But not typically.

As for the change of contact, did you agree? If not, have you included this in your divorce petition? Or submitted a child arrangement order?

TheLastOfBudge · 18 October 2016 at 12:36PM

No we haven't. I'm thinking of speaking to a solicitor to see if they can draft up a letter of sorts, advising of my commitments and asking if she agrees.

I fully understand they're our kids and I always pay what I have to and more if I can. I could not afford an extra £325 childcare which is only dictated by her job. In theory if she stopped working I wouldn't pay anything (neither would she) but if it went up, I'd pay more. Had we split childcare before she decided to end it, I'd feel more inclined but it's almost as if I feel I'm being guilted into paying something that I can't affect.

Sambella · 18 October 2016 at 12:50PM

TheLastOfBudge wrote: »

No we haven't. I'm thinking of speaking to a solicitor to see if they can draft up a letter of sorts, advising of my commitments and asking if she agrees.

I fully understand they're our kids and I always pay what I have to and more if I can. I could not afford an extra £325 childcare which is only dictated by her job. In theory if she stopped working I wouldn't pay anything (neither would she) but if it went up, I'd pay more. Had we split childcare before she decided to end it, I'd feel more inclined but it's almost as if I feel I'm being guilted into paying something that I can't affect.

It is not up to her to dictate what you pay! £381 is a sizeable sum already which she gets ON top of any tax credits it actually covers this cost she is after.

I never got ANY child maintenance from when my kids were aged 7 and 2. They are now grown up. I managed I was in fact better off as a single parent than as a couple.

Only the courts can decide what you MUST pay

If she has knocked two days off the time you have them she may look for more money bacause of that as the number of days you have them is taken into account. Some people know how to work the system.

Caz3121 · 18 October 2016 at 1:12PM

TheLastOfBudge wrote: »

She now realises she only gets 70% covered and wants me to pay half of the £650 that isn't covered on top of what I pay.

The maximum used for childcare calculations is £300 per week (2/3 children) it sounds like the costs are over £360 per week...is that correct?
£300 * 30% to cover = £90 + £60 excess = £150 per week

TBagpuss · 18 October 2016 at 1:46PM

Are you in a position to provide alterntive child care?

It's not surprising that she is looking to work, I would have thought most people would see it as commendable that she is seeking to be less dependent on benefits etc., and to ensure that she can become independent.

A court would not explicitly order you to pay child care costs but they could determine that you should be paying an element of spousal maintenance as well as the child support, if they felt that, looking at the financial picture as a whole, it was reasonable.

Sinc eyou are separated, you no longer get a say in whetheror not she choses to work. You are of course free to suggest that the children move to live with you, and to give up work to care for them, if you want

In orderto asses whether paying moe than you curently do would be fair, you'd need to look at the whole picture , including your respective incomes, your outgoings and finacial needs, and how other assets such as savings, equity in any property, and pensions are being divided.

In terms of contact, alternate weekends are fairly common. If you were living closer tgether then it might be parctical for the childnre to spend time with you in the week as well. It is not unreasonable for her to want them to spend the interim weekends with her so that she gets that extended, quality time with them as well.

Sambella · 18 October 2016 at 3:02PM

TBagpuss wrote: »

Are you in a position to provide alterntive child care?

It's not surprising that she is looking to work, I would have thought most people would see it as commendable that she is seeking to be less dependent on benefits etc., and to ensure that she can become independent.

A court would not explicitly order you to pay child care costs but they could determine that you should be paying an element of spousal maintenance as well as the child support, if they felt that, looking at the financial picture as a whole, it was reasonable.

Sinc eyou are separated, you no longer get a say in whetheror not she choses to work. You are of course free to suggest that the children move to live with you, and to give up work to care for them, if you want

In orderto asses whether paying moe than you curently do would be fair, you'd need to look at the whole picture , including your respective incomes, your outgoings and finacial needs, and how other assets such as savings, equity in any property, and pensions are being divided.

In terms of contact, alternate weekends are fairly common. If you were living closer tgether then it might be parctical for the childnre to spend time with you in the week as well. It is not unreasonable for her to want them to spend the interim weekends with her so that she gets that extended, quality time with them as well.

Let's look at it another way.

She is getting family allowance for 2 kids, child tax credit for two kids , £381 maintenance for two kids and 70 percent of the childcare costs met by the government. She wants him to pay 15%. Which will mean 85% of her childcare costs are met. she then only pays 15% This seems wholly unfair when you look at it this way.

it is good that she is working not totally reliant on benefits but some women take things too far. She is lucky that she has an ex who pays what I think is a sizeable sum of £381 per month.

Perhaps the guy can't affford this 15%. Presumably he has his own bills to pay, mortgage/rent?

nannytone_2 · 18 October 2016 at 8:53PM

she isn't telling the truth somewhere.
either in the amount her childcare is or the amount that her 30% adds unto.

if 30% of the childcare is £650, then the total monthly cost would be almost £2,200!
that would mean tax credits would be paying over £1,500 a month for her childcare.

the loimit per week that can be claimed is £300 for 2 or more children.
70% of that would be £210 per week
https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/help-with-childcare-costs/B]

im all for absent parent paying their share, but can't stand people that (try to_ take the pi$$

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 19 October 2016 at 7:06PM

The fairest way is for you to both have 50/50 shared care with no maintenance payments either way.

elsien · 19 October 2016 at 7:12PM

Shared care isn't going to work when the parents live 50 odd miles apart.

CMS Payments - ex-wife demanding money for childcare

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