How to deal with a brother TAKEN over parents finances..

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Comments

  • Online gambling ?
  • Article50 wrote: »
    Online gambling ?

    I don't believe this is so.
  • Prat? I think you are going easy. Thief I would say. Possibly a police matter?

    There was little they could do.
  • Rags2riches
    Rags2riches Posts: 42 Forumite
    edited 12 September 2017 at 11:15PM
    badmemory wrote: »
    I wonder if your mother, coming from the time when one had one current account & one savings account, finds the whole idea of multiple accounts confusing & possibly thinks they are doing something wrong, is just too embarassed to admit she doesn't understand. It may be he is trying to "blind her with science".

    I completely agree with this. There is an element of showing her only part of the picture, using spreadsheets - whilst extremely complicated things are happening in the background she has little chance of understanding. She is very proud of balancing the books on her day to day account. The damage is being done in the others.
  • Malthusian wrote: »
    In any case the way you describe it, they aren't going to be declared bankrupt, they will just keep on paying the interest.

    That is exactly what has happened to date. I think you are right - they'll continue paying the interest if they cannot take back control of their accounts, and probabally never repay the debts.

    If they had control of their accounts those debts would be paid off probabally in 5 or 6 years.
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,469 Forumite
    Im sorry. But you are talking as if your mother is simple.

    Little chance of understanding. My mother is in her 60s and if someone was fleecing her for 140 k shed understand it.

    30 current accounts? Pay it off within 5-6 years? 140 k and rising?

    Seriously. They've got 30k a year spare to throw at these cards?/

    He's borrowed 35 k and theyve remortgaged their home

    He's got all the cards and he knows all the pins to every card?

    I said it before. Credit cards generally have a limit on them. They aren't working. Are you saying that every card they have has a huge spending limit on them? That no credit card company has ever had a query about the amount of spending that's been going on?

    He's run up 140k debt that's not been repaid?

    I recently had a firm write me a letter over a sum of 35 pounds. That I didn't owe in the end. The company actually owed me.

    But that's how little it took for the company to pass it on to a firm to try and recover the money

    You are expecting people to believe that a six figure sum has been racked up with no repayments being made and the credit card companies haven't passed the debts on.

    If you spend on cards you need to make repayments. Who is making them?
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,469 Forumite
    Remortgaged to raise funds for an extension? Where did the 40k go.

    There are too many holes in this story. 140 k of debt. No repayments being made. And the credit card companies just accepting this.

    Causing confusion as they try and work out whose spending was whose!

    Are you for real? Are you expecting people to believe that your parents are so simple that they don't know where 75k has gone plus 140k on cards.

    That's 235k that they aren't sure if they spent or he did?

    Tosh. Your dad might have mh problems but your mum hasn't

    I think most people would know if they've been spending money.

    You have to have the cards in your possession to spend on them. Yet you are saying that your mum is confused even though he has the cards?

    Absolute nonsense.
  • Rags2riches
    Rags2riches Posts: 42 Forumite
    edited 13 September 2017 at 7:43AM
    Can you clarify their pension position, do they have a pension pot of £55k or an annual income of £55k. If the latter I am amazed that they could be in that position but be so financially clueless.

    £50k income. £140k current unsecured debt. Once their property completes that will release £55k of capital to them.
    Tygermoth wrote: »
    The mother on several occasions has chosen the path of least resistance and the other son over the OP.

    It appears to me that she does indeed want to take a path where she can try to maintain family relationships... and hope the problem sorts itself out.
    annandale wrote: »
    Are you for real? Are you expecting people to believe that your parents are so simple that they don't know where 75k has gone plus 140k on cards.

    They indicated several times that they were paying down debts. They thought were £30k.

    They are making repayments on all their cards to cover the interest and minimum payment at least. They have to put their regular spending on xyz credit card so their income can be used for the minimum payments, forcing them to maintain this system indefinately. They can afford the interest but not the minimums without doing this.

    He has had some of their credit cards and debit cards. For example he has many of their debit cards so he can log in to online banking using card readers... which is double edged sword becuase that also means they can't.

    They had been with the same bank all their lives. Complex systems were introduced in the background, which they have not devised and believe they need him to maintain this to ensure they don't miss any repayments. The thought of missing a payment is quite distressing to them.

    They don't understand how it works or would even know where to start with it.
  • DCFC79 wrote: »
    Why is he doing it ?

    I believe there is element of control, underlying the issues.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,655 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Savvy Shopper!
    There was little they could do.
    What do you mean 'little they could do'?

    There was (and still is) lots they could do.
    They could have listened to you.
    They could have listened to family.
    They had ample opportunity to stop this when interviewed by the Police Fraud Squad.

    They could have wised up when they realised:
    • Have discovered they have close to £140k in credit cards and overdrafts. They thought it was £30k.
    • Remortgaged their home to raise funds for an extension which never materialised. £40k has simply gone.
    • Cashed in life savings of around £20k, also long since gone.
    • Forced to sell their family home and move into rented to repay their interest-only mortgage.

    I think you need to wise up and accept that they believe your brother is doing nothing wrong (or don't wish to believe it) and until that changes all the posting on here is not going to get you anywhere.
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