Work shy relative is becoming a nuisance

Bath_cube · 13 September 2017 at 4:17PM

I have a cousin who is 54 and has always lived at home with my aunt. He has not done any proper paid employment since 1996 and he just does 10 hours a week voluntary work and is getting paid his JSA as well there is nothing psychically or mentally wrong with him at all. He has turned down plenty of well paid jobs eg around £25000 per year because he says he doesn't enjoy paid work and he doesn't like paying tax and NI plus travel expenses. Last month he wanted £ 100 so he could buy a trophy and have it engraved for a pub friend who won a quiz, he expected his sister and myself plus 2 other cousins to chip in. And now it's approaching Christmas he wants money to buy his mum a gift and take her and himself to a restaurant on Christmas day. We have said NO and told him to apply to royal mail for a temporary job to earn some money. He seemed disgusted we should tell him to seek work. He has been sanctioned a few times over the years by the job centre for refusing to accept job offers and my aunt had to fund him through it. He isn't unskilled he can drive and has an IT qualification so I can't understand why he wants to do this.

KxMx · 13 September 2017 at 4:34PM

Judging by previous threads:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5665828

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5657085

I'm not sure I believe this scenario either.

Pollycat · 13 September 2017 at 5:28PM

The OP does seem to have a somewhat dysfunctional family.

Not sure what the purpose of the thread is.
He's asked for money, people have said no.
Surely that's the end of it.

sulphate · 13 September 2017 at 5:39PM

Bath_cube wrote: »

He has been sanctioned a few times over the years by the job centre for refusing to accept job offers and my aunt had to fund him through it.

This is the crux of the problem. While he has someone funding his lifestyle, there's no incentive for him to change his ways.

thorsoak · 13 September 2017 at 5:54PM

Reminds me of the disfunctional family of the late lamented Blue Lass!

elsien · 13 September 2017 at 5:56PM

thorsoak wrote: »

Reminds me of the disfunctional family of the late lamented Blue Lass!

The same thought had crossed my mind as well.

Your aunt doesn't have to fund him. You don't have to fund him. You've said no, sounds like the point of the post is just to complain about something that's really not your concern.

Bath_cube · 13 September 2017 at 6:04PM

I have said this before I am not blue lass. I'm sure other members on here have quirky family members and unfortunately I'm one of those members. My aunt is a pensioner and only receives her works pension. She had to work until she was 71 due to her bone idle son and he has no shame about that. He goes to a local pub once a week and has a 30 a day smoking habit. He know wants to claim care attendance for himself be saying my aunt is infirm and needs 24 hour care at home. This is because he will no longer have to claim JSA if he does so and they job centre are pressing him to get into paid employment. He is like a petulant teen. He has never even known what it's like to pay a bill. My aunt won't be around forever and he assumes the house will be his if she dies and his sister won't get her half because he has always lived at home. He annoys me there are plenty of jobs he is capable of but he doesn't want to be a tax payer.

sheramber · 13 September 2017 at 6:13PM

If your aunt wants to support him that is her business and not yours. She can do as she wishes.

Nor it is any of your business who gets the house when your aunt dies.

Concentrate on your life and leave others to theirs.

kelpie35 · 13 September 2017 at 6:20PM

More fool your aunt allowing him to live off the state.

Pity there was no one who could fight your aunt's corner and get rid of him.

Loz01 · 13 September 2017 at 6:26PM

He won't do anything if he has a free house to live in, free food and someone to give him money as well as Jobseekers Allowance for attending the job centre once every 2 weeks.... sounds like a cushy, mellow life.

Tell him no, DO NOT give him a penny, if he really wants something he should have the motivation to find a job. He NEVER will if people just simply give him money.

motorguy · 13 September 2017 at 6:44PM

Bath_cube wrote: »

I have said this before I am not blue lass. I'm sure other members on here have quirky family members and unfortunately I'm one of those members. My aunt is a pensioner and only receives her works pension. She had to work until she was 71 due to her bone idle son and he has no shame about that. He goes to a local pub once a week and has a 30 a day smoking habit. He know wants to claim care attendance for himself be saying my aunt is infirm and needs 24 hour care at home. This is because he will no longer have to claim JSA if he does so and they job centre are pressing him to get into paid employment. He is like a petulant teen. He has never even known what it's like to pay a bill. My aunt won't be around forever and he assumes the house will be his if she dies and his sister won't get her half because he has always lived at home. He annoys me there are plenty of jobs he is capable of but he doesn't want to be a tax payer.

If hes eking out a living and being funded by your aunt then you're not going to change him now.

Personally i'd be living my own life and be glad you're not a sponger like him.

Work shy relative is becoming a nuisance

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