Help to deal with a controlling Mother.
Comments
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Your mum won't have power of attorney then, because you won't have had capacity to do it at that time. She may have applied for a deputyship over your finances though - you would need to check that which you can do via the Court of Protection.
You really need to go to Adult Social Care and tell them how you feel. It may be that having gone through what you did, your mum is being massively over-protective. It's rarely clear cut. But if you want to live more independently your starting point would be to start speaking up for yourself a little more.All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.0 -
I was in hospital for a long time after the accident and then in Nuero rehab. My mum and dad did veverything as I couldn't walk or talk for a long time. I can't remember any of this or my dad dying .I know no one ever thought I'd get better.
My healthworker started talking about independent living a few years ago - it wasn't a overnight thing. I wanted to leave home mostly because my mum won't even let me try to do stuff alone, like go out of the house with other people. She stops talking to me and helping me for days at a time sometimes but likes to say that I don't co operate and or listen or that she's told me something when she hasn't.
She speaks to everyone for me even the Dr.
So now is the time to start speaking for yourself - you are writing here, this is the first step! Nothing bad will happen when you speak up for yourself xxx0 -
It does seems that there has been a big gap in your life when you didn't know what was happening, which is understandable, but you have made huge progress since then and it's natural you should want your independence, especially if your mother is totally controlling your life. One day she will no longer be around to look after your affairs. Therefore it's sensible to start asserting yourself now, as you are doing, and taking control. You do need the help and support of adult social care and probably a solicitor to get you through the legal minefields which are facing you, especially if your mother is using aggressive or abusive tactics to thwart your independence and access to the benefits to which you are entitled.
Stay strong and determined. These processes can sometimes take a while to plough through.0 -
You express yourself well here - if you are actually worried about physically speaking to someone, write it all down - as you have on this thread - and send it as an email to your social worker.0
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You express yourself well here - if you are actually worried about physically speaking to someone, write it all down - as you have on this thread - and send it as an email to your social worker.
Thank you - today has been strange because now other people actually know what is going on they've said I don't have to go home at all. I never thought this time last week I'd be out of there! I can't say much more because the Police are involved now and my friend's Mum and Dad are foster carers so they can't be seen to be giving me advice. I didn't know that my friend and both her brothers are adopted.
They did take me to the bank though and I found out you can have a voice password which will make life easy - I'm partially paralysed on my left side so I can't write very well with a pen. It takes about an hour to even type as much as this.
After tea, we're going to make a wsih list and a timeline with all the things I want to in the next couple of years like have my own flat and so a proper computer course.0 -
Thank you - today has been strange because now other people actually know what is going on they've said I don't have to go home at all. I never thought this time last week I'd be out of there! I can't say much more because the Police are involved now and my friend's Mum and Dad are foster carers so they can't be seen to be giving me advice. I didn't know that my friend and both her brothers are adopted.
They did take me to the bank though and I found out you can have a voice password which will make life easy - I'm partially paralysed on my left side so I can't write very well with a pen. It takes about an hour to even type as much as this.
After tea, we're going to make a wsih list and a timeline with all the things I want to in the next couple of years like have my own flat and so a proper computer course.
I did read a lot of the stuff people on here suggested - thank you again! I will have to go back and read some of it again. It was a lot!0 -
Delighted you are making such progress. The people you are with sound wonderfully supportive and probably know their way around the system fairly well so you sound as if you are now in safe hands.0
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Delighted you are making such progress. The people you are with sound wonderfully supportive and probably know their way around the system fairly well so you sound as if you are now in safe hands.
I agree. You've come such a long way in just a few days.
I think you have a good future to look forward to.
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SigHI - you can make it; it takes courage, but you CAN break out of it.
I wanted to share this thread with you: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4805353&highlight=wiglet
It's not exactly the same scenario as yours, but Wiggy, the original poster had years of nonsense from her mother and other family members and, against much backlash, has gone on to do well for herself and her little boy. I've always found it quite inspiring to read her story, so I hope that you might too.
Very best wishes to you, and hopefully many happy times ahead. x0 -
RuthnJasper wrote: »SigHI - you can make it; it takes courage, but you CAN break out of it.
It's not exactly the same scenario as yours, but Wiggy, the original poster had years of nonsense from her mother and other family members and, against much backlash, has gone on to do well for herself and her little boy. I've always found it quite inspiring to read her story, so I hope that you might too.
Very best wishes to you, and hopefully many happy times ahead. x
The hardest part in reading that thread is that I have a son. He was 7 when it all happened and after my dad died, he went to live with some of our extended family. Some of the money was left to pay for him to go to Boarding school and he's now either at Uni or doing a year's work experience - I'm not sure. We don't had contact for a long time - lots of reasons but the main one being that my mother never really accepted him - another subject that got met with the silent treatment and reminders of how much I messed my life up.
I have a lot to sort out. I can only cope with one thing at a time. They are still trying to arrange getting my clothes and stuff.0
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