When is infidelity infidelity?

Options
1234689

Comments

  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Options
    NeilCr wrote: »
    And, talking to someone can be flirting.

    Just talking isn't - can't be - flirting.

    There's an added element.
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Options
    Torry_Quine wrote: »
    If out in a group then the group would be spending time together. It seems strange to then go off and spend time away from them.

    Yes. But within the group different people spend time with others. For example my best female friend is part of the group - we'll go off and have a good chinwag. My partner likes dancing more than me (though I am getting more confident) so she'll have a dance with one or two of the blokes ( or the women if the guys are at the bar). A few of us guys will nip up to the bar for a drink. Where we go we sometimes see friends/acquaintances not in the group so we'll natter to them

    Do you and your partner spend the whole evening together - not splitting up to talk to others - have a dance with someone else etc etc?

    I'm not saying we spend the whole evening apart but it is quite a lot of the time. We then have a really good catch up on the news, what happened, any gossip!
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,834 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Bake Off Boss!
    Options
    NeilCr wrote: »
    Yes. But within the group different people spend time with others. For example my best female friend is part of the group - we'll go off and have a good chinwag. My partner likes dancing more than me (though I am getting more confident) so she'll have a dance with one or two of the blokes ( or the women if the guys are at the bar). A few of us guys will nip up to the bar for a drink. Where we go we sometimes see friends/acquaintances not in the group so we'll natter to them

    Do you and your partner spend the whole evening together - not splitting up to talk to others - have a dance with someone else etc etc?

    I'm not saying we spend the whole evening apart but it is quite a lot of the time. We then have a really good catch up on the news, what happened, any gossip!

    As I said the group would stay together. Yes I'll catch up with others but not away from the group, if I want to speak to someone on our own we would meet up separate from a group outing.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • System
    System Posts: 178,094 Community Admin
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Post
    edited 8 July 2017 at 10:35PM
    Options
    My partner is a flirt. I trust her into the ground. If she's flirting openly with someone then I reckon she's happy and enjoying herself on a night out together. I know it's not going to go any further and I know we are going to be going home with each other
    You can be happy and enjoying yourself without flirting.

    Why bother flirting if your not going to let it lead anywhere? What if the person your flirting with wants to take it further? You could then be assumed to have led them on.

    If your happy with your partner flirting then thats your choice.

    Flirting

    1. behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.
    "she began to tease him, flirting with other men in front of him"
    synonyms: trifle with, toy with, tease, lead on, philander with, dally with, make romantic advances to, court, woo, vamp
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Options
    Torry_Quine wrote: »
    As I said the group would stay together. Yes I'll catch up with others but not away from the group, if I want to speak to someone on our own we would meet up separate from a group outing.

    Sure is interesting how we are all different ;);)

    We'd all be in the same place but not together for much of the time. I guess it depends on the dynamic, how often you see each other, what you are doing etc etc. No one right way that's for sure!

    Would you and your partner dance with someone else for instance?
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Options
    Judi wrote: »
    You can be happy and enjoying yourself without flirting.

    Why bother flirting if your not going to let it lead anywhere? What if the person your flirting with wants to take it further? You could then be assumed to have led them on.

    If your happy with your partner flirting then thats your choice.

    Flirting

    1. behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.
    "she began to tease him, flirting with other men in front of him"
    synonyms: trifle with, toy with, tease, lead on, philander with, dally with, make romantic advances to, court, woo, vamp

    And the key words are "playfully rather than with serious intentions".

    Of course you can be happy without flirting. Wouldn't suggest otherwise. But some people are just natural flirts! And others just enjoy it. There doesn't have to be an end game, either.

    I prefer to live my life without having to have a definition for everything, to be honest.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,834 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Bake Off Boss!
    Options
    NeilCr wrote: »
    Sure is interesting how we are all different ;);)

    We'd all be in the same place but not together for much of the time. I guess it depends on the dynamic, how often you see each other, what you are doing etc etc. No one right way that's for sure!

    Would you and your partner dance with someone else for instance?

    Hypothetical we would dance with others but come back to the group. He has two left feet and I have poor balance so don't dance.:rotfl:
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • System
    System Posts: 178,094 Community Admin
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Post
    Options
    I prefer to live my life without having to have a definition for everything, to be honest.
    In that case you live by your own standards and not anyone elses. Horses for courses an' all that.
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Options
    Torry_Quine wrote: »
    Hypothetical we would dance with others but come back to the group. He has two left feet and I have poor balance so don't dance.:rotfl:

    I am with him with the two left feet! Both always seem to tread on her toes

    :rotfl::rotfl:
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Options
    Judi wrote: »
    In that case you live by your own standards and not anyone elses. Horses for courses an' all that.

    Well indeed

    And, of course, not judging others is good too

    I came across this earlier. I think there is quite a bit in it (for some people obviously!)



    Marriage and flirting


    Healthy flirting in a marriage can help make the relationship stronger by infusing fun and spice. Flirting does not always have to be in the context of being sexual as it can be within the limits of marriage values. Healthy flirting outside marriage means having good interactions and conversations accompanied with harmless teasing but nothing physical. Flirting can also help know yourself, that how interesting and appealing you can be and you can bring your high spirits back home to your spouse which can put the zing back in your marriage. Getting to know someone, having good conversation and sharing a few laughs will only help you and your marriage.
This discussion has been closed.
★ ★ ★ Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 608.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173.1K Life & Family
  • 247.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards