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  • kelpie35
    kelpie35 Posts: 1,781 Forumite
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    It is lovely to see you so positive Alex, long may it continue.

    Have a wonderful weekend with your wife and son.

    Take care.
  • -taff
    -taff Posts: 14,501 Forumite
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    Not trying to put a dampner on any of your future plans but this is a thread that might interest you
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5615153
    Shampoo? No thanks, I'll have real poo...
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    AlexLK wrote: »
    1. My son is really happy to be back here, 2. Day off from the parents :o, 3. I feel I've made the right decision re. my marriage

    Hooray!

    All three of these are fantastic, really pleased for you. :T:T
  • Suffolk_lass
    Suffolk_lass Posts: 9,345 Forumite
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    -taff wrote: »
    Not trying to put a dampner on any of your future plans but this is a thread that might interest you
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5615153

    And it has not put her off...
    Save £12k in 2024 - #2 target is £5000 only £798.34 so far
    OS Grocery Challenge 2024 31.1% spent or £932.98/£3,000 annual
    I also Reverse Meal Plan on that thread and grow much of our own premium price fruit and veg, joining in on the Grow your own thread
    My Debt Free Diary Get a grip Woman
  • -taff
    -taff Posts: 14,501 Forumite
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    Just a heads up really.
    If stress is a factor in any mental health, it's as well to know beforehand this could be a posibility than after.
    Shampoo? No thanks, I'll have real poo...
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    -taff wrote: »
    Just a heads up really.
    If stress is a factor in any mental health, it's as well to know beforehand this could be a posibility than after.

    A teacher friend of mine has found her love of the profession again after dropping to two days a week and no extra responsibilities, just teaching. Full time with additional stuff on her plate, it was too much for any human and I did worry for her.

    Now, that's obviously not an option for everybody, but maybe it could be for you Alex? If you carry on doing some work for your parents' business but in a more formal way perhaps with fixed hours, set duties and a sensible wage?
  • AlexLK
    AlexLK Posts: 6,125 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
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    March Targets:

    Total Grocery Spend: £92/>£450.
    Surplus Money: £0/£750.
    Going to bed at a reasonable time: 10/31.
    Meditation: 10/31. Only doing the one minute meditation as and when at the moment.
    One new recipe per week: 2/4.
    Read three books: 0/3. Not doing well with this. :o
    3 Things for Saturday: 1. Spend an hour doing something relaxing, 2. Find three things to smile about, 3. Try another youtube meditation.

    3 Things for Friday: 1. Meet my wife for lunch, done. :) did mean a cafe lunch, though. 2. Find three things to smile about, 1. Spending time with Mrs K, 2. Having a day off from work things, 3. My dog likes her new toy. :) 3. Try another youtube meditation. Didn't get around to it, not had a relaxing day, it's been busy!
    -taff wrote: »
    I used to have a bright blue plastic mosque alarm clock that played the call to prayer.....It was a gift, and it was INcreDIBLY LOUD.....my ex's borther threw it out. I was gutted.
    If you can find one of those, I guarantee you'll get up....If only to throw it out of the window.

    :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
    Suffolk_lass wrote: »
    I love the fact that you are comfortable with having made the right decision about your marriage. Making the decision. Being comfortable with it because it is right for you. These are the things that give you peace of mind. From this base, your sleep pattern, your positivity and your action-based approach will grow. Really well done.

    Thanks, SL. :)

    I am in a lot better place. My wife and I are still having counselling and it seems to be working. She seems to be addressing the issues that had we not faced would have been hidden but were sometimes the reason for arguments. I've actually got some new found respect for how my wife is dealing with things she's struggled with for a long time but has been too afraid to admit.

    My sleep pattern is improving, though it is not as good as it could be (takes me a long time to get to sleep most nights, so whilst I'm going to bed earlier, going to sleep is a different matter). Trying to keep the positivity and proactive approaches as I know I am a lot better MH wise when I stay on that path.
    newgirly wrote: »
    I'm glad things are more positive for you Alex, you have made the right descision both trying to make your marriage work, if you are both onboard to make changes and you still love each other you start from a good position. Your son is happier, you sound happier, dont let the negative thoughts work their way back in, you are doing amazingly well and have the chance of a great future :)

    Have a great weekend, what are you up to?

    Thanks, NG.

    Not letting negativity creep in is difficult for me and trying to be positive does seem to take a lot of energy and effort (guess I'm just not naturally positive). However, I'm trying.

    My wife and I both want to make our marriage work. :)

    No idea what we're doing this weekend apart from the usual horse riding / jobs. I don't really want to do too much, if I'm honest. :o
    2018 totals:
    Savings £11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments £5,500
  • AlexLK
    AlexLK Posts: 6,125 Forumite
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    kelpie35 wrote: »
    It is lovely to see you so positive Alex, long may it continue.

    Have a wonderful weekend with your wife and son.

    Take care.

    Thank you. :)
    -taff wrote: »
    Not trying to put a dampner on any of your future plans but this is a thread that might interest you
    http://s.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5615153

    Thanks, Taff. :)

    I've heard a lot of teaching horror stories. However, one thing I have promised myself is if it begins to adversely affect my mental health or leaves me with no time for my family, I will leave. I've left one career before and wouldn't be afraid to do it again.

    If I don't try it, I will never know. From the teaching I do, I am starting to realise that I can only have a limited amount of influence over pupils' educational outcomes; I can provide them with the tools but it is their choice as to whether they use them. That does not mean I won't do what I can but the days of spending a lot of money on pupils and time I do not have are over because there are only so many hours in one day and with a class of up to 30 pupils, I realise I could be in a position that I would be spending no time with my family. If I apply for a role in teaching after the training year and the school doesn't like the fact that there are things in my life that come before a career, I will move on.

    On another note, I was surprised to see two ex-engineers commenting on the thread.
    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    Hooray!

    All three of these are fantastic, really pleased for you. :T:T

    Thank you. :)
    2018 totals:
    Savings £11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments £5,500
  • AlexLK
    AlexLK Posts: 6,125 Forumite
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    Suffolk_lass wrote: »
    And it has not put her off...

    I think careers are something the individual needs to make their own mind up about, to be honest and the OP of that thread likely realises so. :)

    I found your response quite intriguing. My wife is a Structural Engineer and loves her job, though sometimes she wishes that she'd learnt to speak German at uni as she thinks the grass is rather greener over there for engineers.
    -taff wrote: »
    Just a heads up really.
    If stress is a factor in any mental health, it's as well to know beforehand this could be a posibility than after.

    Thank you, Taff. :)

    I have done a lot of research but thank you for thinking of me. :)
    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    A teacher friend of mine has found her love of the profession again after dropping to two days a week and no extra responsibilities, just teaching. Full time with additional stuff on her plate, it was too much for any human and I did worry for her.

    Now, that's obviously not an option for everybody, but maybe it could be for you Alex? If you carry on doing some work for your parents' business but in a more formal way perhaps with fixed hours, set duties and a sensible wage?

    The plan (at the moment) is to probably work part time after completing the PGCE if I want to stay in teaching. :)

    I'm a Director and look after everything myself as my parents want to have a retirement (both worked well past 70, so it is fair, really). It's not really the kind of work to have set hours, duties etc. The wage issue is one I largely put upon myself.
    2018 totals:
    Savings £11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments £5,500
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    AlexLK wrote: »

    I'm a Director and look after everything myself as my parents want to have a retirement (both worked well past 70, so it is fair, really). It's not really the kind of work to have set hours, duties etc. The wage issue is one I largely put upon myself.

    Fair enough, but please remember that this is not an inevitability or compulsory. Your parents could sell or liquidate the business, or employ an unrelated person to be director, if you choose not to be involved. It is a choice, make sure that you're actually choosing it. :)
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