Money Moral Dilemma: Should I 'reclaim' my car expenses?

ButterflyLC · 1 March 2017 at 12:21PM

Here's something you will learn as you get older, life isn't always fair.

My older sister got everything, I got nothing. While I do resent my parents for the major imbalance in how we were treated as kids, I really don't care what my sister got and I didn't. Everything I have I have worked hard for and no one can use it against me or take it away from me.

My advice is be grateful for what you have, you are very lucky your parents were kind enough to buy you a car in the first place.

scaryfairy · 1 March 2017 at 12:48PM

You will have to sit down and think what's more important to you - your relationship with your family or money?

I'm sure your parents are good parents and will probably make it up to you in other ways but to issue them with a bill for the running expenses of your car which they bought you is just harsh and mean.

However, if this is all your are obsessing over then sit down with your parents and tell them how you feel, they probably haven't a clue that you are so upset about this. Don't be surprised though if they are hurt and upset by all this.

onlyroz · 1 March 2017 at 12:58PM

sudokulover wrote: »

You had a wage (albeit small) ... your brother won't.

This.

On a similar note, should I ask my parents to give me the £15k they have given my brother to fund IVF treatment that he needs and I don't?

XRAT · 1 March 2017 at 1:00PM

I've always treated my children equally. When they went to University government changed the rules, making it impossible for me to treat them equally. Can I, or they, claim back from the government for unfair treatment???
Life's a !!!!!, one need not go to University to find out!

Did it ever occur that they were as generous to you as they could afford at the time (whilst supporting your sibling) Now that you are supporting yourself, they have more to give but are treating him equally.., by being as generous as they can afford now.

Never feel jealous of another's good fortune, appreciate their good luck and your cup will always be half full.

Dovblack · 1 March 2017 at 1:01PM

Your parents didn't rack up an invoice for you (or your sibling) as they fed, watered and nurtured you until you were able to care and fend for yourself. That's important. That said, favouritism is difficult and only serves to cause rifts. Either suck it up and turn your back on it or face it up and address it. My guess is that, whatever the choice, somebody's face will be out of joint.

happyinflorida · 1 March 2017 at 1:19PM

Are you being serious or having a bit of a laugh?

Your brother's got no job but you did have - so why are you even asking this question?

You were working as an apprentice and your parents kindly bought you a car - when you should have saved up for one yourself.

I got nothing from my tight fisted parents my whole life but you've got it cushty and are still trying to get more!

I'd be extremely grateful for how generous your parent have been towards you already and shut up.

TBagpuss · 1 March 2017 at 1:31PM

"fair" and "equal" are not always thesame.

Your parents treated your and your brother fiarly: they gave each of you a car and ensured that you were bothin a position where you didn't have to find a part time job outside your degree cpurse to fund the running costs of the car.

You, and they, had the good luck that yours is funded by your employers who are sponsoring your degree.

You are also lucky that, because your employer is paying for your degree, you won't end up with a big student loan.

It would be very unfair if your paretns were to give you a cash sum equal to the running expenses. It would mean that youget a free chunk of savings and your brother doesn't. That's unfair to him.

If you wereboth in the same position, i.e. of neither of you had sponsorhsip or degree which you got paid to do, then yes, it would be unfair for your parents to pay or one of you and not the other, and you could reasonably take they view that they were playing favourites, but that isn't what is happening here.

unless your parents habitually treat you less favourably than your brother, you have no reason to feel upset.

System · 1 March 2017 at 1:39PM

i find it unbelievable that u should even ask the question "am i within my rights" what do u think this is a business?

its family and the best u can/should expect [not a right] is to be fairly treated and even that depends on so many things, theres no real answer except that u can presumably appeal to parents sense of fairness and ask them "why"

birtles1010 · 1 March 2017 at 2:30PM

I don't know how much older you are than your younger brother but has it occurred to you that you are now - presumably - not as much of a financial burden to your parents. This means - in case you haven't worked it out - that they have more disposable income to use as they wish. I'm afraid you'll have to come to terms - as I did - that being the older child does have disadvantages as well as advantages......put away your hanky and get real.

lucys_mum · 1 March 2017 at 2:36PM

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! you were given a 'deal' and were perfectly happy with it then. Should your younger brother pay you back for when you ate one more sausage than him?

Good Luck in the real world my friend

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I 'reclaim' my car expenses?

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