Is this miserly or just moneysaving?

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  • MrsE_2
    MrsE_2 Posts: 24,162 Forumite
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    PasturesNew wrote: »
    £80/week is a lot to spend.
    My shoes cost me £5 and are brilliantly comfortable, I went for a 6 mile walk in them yesterday, they're fake crocs.
    Bed rail ... take the bed apart, put the mattress on the floor
    Radios are £3-5 at the charity shop or car boot. Or even freecycle... or just ask people you know and somebody might have one kicking about.
    Lunches/meals out - they're a luxury I'd not have except one special meal per year (xmas eve I used to go out for lunch at a £7 carvery).
    Bras - well, I wouldn't want anybody to see the state of the ones I've got. I tend to buy about 4 from a shop like Matalan/wherever, every 2-3 years or so... but still keep the old ones as the new ones are 'for best'
    Haircuts - I only have mine done when it's essential, at the cheapest place I can find. I have a dry cut (not paying for it being washed/dried then), having to have it cut more often than usual at the moment due to short-notice job interviews, so I've had it cut twice this year already.

    And all the above ... is with my own hard-earned money. It's easier to spend it than to earn it. You can only spend it once, on one thing, then it's gone forever.

    Your posts never cease to amaze me, you are the most frugle person ever. I bet you have a fortune stashed away;)
  • whitelillies
    whitelillies Posts: 165 Forumite
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    i think you should buy the shoes, bra and bedrail. These are the important things to you and thats what matters. Money can be tight but you dont have to spend a lot. The shoes and bra are important and will make you feel better. I didnt have any money years ago when i was a SAHM but i never went without. I used to keep back a bit of the family allowance for myself. Not much, just enough for a haircut or a top or a lipstick once in a while. It was a treat and it made me feel good and the underwear, i would buy something sexy but not expensive like Asda underwear its so reaonable and then my other half would get the benefit too lol x
  • flutterbyuk25
    flutterbyuk25 Posts: 7,009 Forumite
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    Lalaladybird wrote: »
    A radio/cd player for the kitchen. We don't have one so I can't listen to the radio or play a cd while I am at home with the kids. Its tv or silence! He said I'll have to wait til Christmas.

    Do you have freeview/cable/sky? If so you can get the radio through that. I have freeview and have choice of 25 radio channels.

    Or if you have PC/laptop (which I'm assuming you do as you have posted on here!) then you can listen live to radio through it, or to podcasts.

    HTH

    x
    * Rainbow baby boy born 9th August 2016 *

    * Slimming World follower (I breastfeed so get 6 hex's!) *
  • dumpy
    dumpy Posts: 520 Forumite
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    I think someone else has said it but until we know what the incoming money situation is then it's difficult to know what is tight or not.

    You need to sit down together with a SOA and see where all the money is going and what is spare.

    Have you kept a spending diary when you write down everything you spend? It's an eye opener for those little things which you don't think cost much but add up.

    Has anything happened at work to make him feel more vulnerable about his job? If you feel under threat of redunancy and there is a lot of that around at the moment, it can make you want to pull the belt tighter.

    Oh and you don't need fizzy drinks. Complete waste of money and will cost you more in long term when you need your teeth repaired.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
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    Dave101t wrote: »
    if he is the bread winner, they what he says goes. but if you have your own money, why not just buy it anyway? if i had my way id never buy anything in my household unless it was absolutely necessary.

    Do you really believe this? Since we got together, any money coming in to the household has been counted as household money. It doesn't matter who has earned it. How it's spent has been a joint decision. Neither of us would dream of telling the other they aren't "allowed" to buy certain things.

    I always find it a worrying sign if one of a couple is so controlling. It rarely stops at money. Lalaladybird hasn't said what her OH spends on himself each week.

    I think the OP and her OH need to have an financial session together where they go through all the bills and work out what's being spent where and whether any savings can be made on the regular outgoings. It's surprising how a few pounds saved here and there can add up. If the OH thinks the shopping is extravagant, he could try it for a week or two - maybe he's out of touch with how much things cost. The OP could plan ahead and be more efficient in the use of the car. It may be possible to combine several things into a round trip and reduce petrol use that way.

    If it becomes clear to the OP that it's only money spent on her that he considers wasted, then alarm bells should start ringing. On the other hand, seeing it all down on paper may make it clear that some money is being spent on non-essentials and she can change that.
  • Oldernotwiser
    Oldernotwiser Posts: 37,425 Forumite
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    Reading some of the OP's other posts, there seems to be a lot more going on here than she's mentioned in this thread.
  • Lalaladybird
    Lalaladybird Posts: 530 Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    Lalaladybird hasn't said what her OH spends on himself each week.

    He doesn't spend anything on himself and if he does he balances it. Eg months ago he really wanted tickets to see a concert so he said I could buy something for the same value for myself. He's not mean to me just really watches the pennies.
  • Lalaladybird
    Lalaladybird Posts: 530 Forumite
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    ..................
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
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    Lalaladybird wrote: »
    He doesn't spend anything on himself and if he does he balances it. Eg months ago he really wanted tickets to see a concert so he said I could buy something for the same value for myself. He's not mean to me just really watches the pennies.

    That's good that he is careful with money himself but can't you see how controlling this is? He decided to treat himself so he told you could have something extra too! Have you ever said to him that he shouldn't be spending money on something? How would he react?
  • Flower08
    Flower08 Posts: 4,771 Forumite
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    Have a look on ebay for bed rails, I just did a quick search within a 5 mile radius of my house and several came up at under £5.00, no P&P either because you can collect it.

    He does sound very frugal, but as many have said without knowing your financial position its difficult to know whether he is going over the top.
    I dont think he is being very unreasonable though, he is obviously just trying to keep the family finances afloat.

    I do think you should talk to him about how you are feeling though!
    Biggest Loser Weight Loss: 13 / 20 lb
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