Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

AspiringButAnxious · 2 December 2015 at 12:03AM

Thanks CCL

scubaangel · 2 December 2015 at 12:06AM

I agree with CCL, parents I'm sure do find their children a hassle at times but the fact they offer to do stuff for you and follow through with it is far more than many parents do. They don't have to offer, never mind actually do things for you.

I'm sure once you're feeling better you'll find that actually you do alot for them as well without realising it.

Enjoy the books.

AspiringButAnxious · 2 December 2015 at 7:59PM

Thanks Scuba

I'm feeling much better today, though still shaky. My mum phoned the Job Centre, as the Working Links woman told her to, only to be passed along to someone else and put on hold. After a while, she had to hang up because she was at work. She's going to try again tomorrow, when she gets home from work. I'm trying not to think about it, because it makes me feel terrible. I know Working Links is more responsible for this situation than I am, but it doesn't ease the guilt.

I had a fantastic afternoon meeting my friend's baby and chatting to her and her two daughters. The baby went to sleep on my chest for 3 hours, so I ended up staying longer than I had intended. He then woke up and filled his nappy, along with a lot of farting! I plan to remember and embarrass him when he's a teenager

I really want to be a good role model for my friends' kids. I.want to be their cool aunty! I know it sounds weird, since they're not mine, but they give me a reason to live. The oldest girl is also old enough to miss me if I disappeared; even the 2 year olds seem to recognise me. Sorry to be so morbid this week, but be assured that I feel better than I did.

crazy_cat_lady · 2 December 2015 at 11:17PM

Pleased you're on the up a little bit.
I know it's easier said than done, but please try and remember that you aren't responsible for other people's behaviour. WL have been awful with you - that's nothing you need to feel bad about. Your mum wants to help - no guilt required there. She wouldn't offer if she didn't want to - take my word for it. My poor dh has really had the rough end of the deal from me since he got ill again. I will help if he asks me to, but he knows that I am putting me and the kids first this time. Years ago I'd have felt guilty about that, but now I know that his behaviour is his choice, and I can offer to help but only if he wants to make a change.
Lots of love to you xxx

misstara · 3 December 2015 at 11:29PM

Sorry to hear about the issues with WL/the JobC. Hope today has been a good day

AspiringButAnxious · 4 December 2015 at 11:19PM

Thanks guys

My mum had to phone WL today to tell them I can't make it to an appointment they scheduled for Wednesday. Managed to get it rescheduled for Friday afternoon, when she can come with me. F**k knows why the woman she spoke to before couldn't have done that. At least attentding on Friday means my benefits can't be affected until after Xmas.

Just feel really stuck. I want to improve my life, but the very people who are supposed to be helping me get back into work and off benefits are the ones who are making the situation worse.

At least today had a silver lining: got £7,50 of Amazon vouchers from a couple of survey companies. I also decided I would like to get my mum another small present — if I get her the dvd I've been eyeing up, I need to spend enough to get free delivery. I suppose I will also have to get my dad something else, even though he's difficult to buy for and ungrateful. There's also a book I really, really want to buy, so if I earn enough Amazon vouchers I can get that to get free delivery on the presents. It can be to me from my dog!

crazy_cat_lady · 4 December 2015 at 11:27PM

Well at least you have your mum there with you for support. Is it worth writing down the things that you want to say before you go so that you don't get so stressed out and forget it all? I believe in honesty so I'm kind of thinking that you should tell them straight out that having to attend there isn't helping your anxiety at all. Or write it down, or ask your mum to speak on your behalf.

AspiringButAnxious · 5 December 2015 at 6:17PM

That's a great idea CCL — will do!

I feel a little better today. Got up, showered, walked the dogs (with my parents), spent way too much on junk food when we popped into Tesco... Managed to get the dvd for my mum: another retailer had it for cheaper than Amazon itself, including delivery. Also got a a present for my dad. Would still like to earn more Anazon vouchers and get the book I want though

Florence_J · 5 December 2015 at 9:57PM

Hi there,

This is my first post ever, as I have only just joined.

I have been reading the forums for a few weeks now as I am in need of guidance to help me get out of my crippling debt. I have just spent my Saturday night reading your diary, as I also suffer from Mental Health Issues. I have no confirmed diagnosis, so I don't know if I have Bi Polar or BPD or something else but due to certain traumatic events in my life I suffered from bouts of depression from a relatively young age. I am on a pretty hefty dose of an anti depressant as well as an anti psychotic. I seem to be coping well. I would say this has been the happiest year of my life, my dreams of getting a full time "adult job" finally came true and I can now look at tackling my debt.

Except I don't seem to have learnt. I have five credit cards and used them every month to buy clothes, go out and indulge in myself. I owe personal debts ranging from the little (in the case of my sister) to the extraordinarily large (to my boyfriend, who has basically supported me for pretty much the whole of our nearly 5 year relationship).

I have reached the point of no return. I absolutely can not take my debt for granted any more. I have enough to pay off the minimum and usually the interest on each credit card each month (the debts i owe in cards and overdrafts are 5150) as well as my other bills, but this leaves me with a very small disposable income. My boyfriends parents have basically been supporting us as well, as my financial situation was crippling my boyfriend's very reasonable income. His parents have been transferring 150 pounds to him each month as well as doing a monthly food shop for us.

You have inspired me to create my own debt free diary, as i'm going to need all the support i can get, i'm sorry for such a long message but i just wanted to know how inspiring i find you and how much reading your journey tonight has helped me. keep going, i need someone to follow.

AspiringButAnxious · 5 December 2015 at 10:31PM

Thank you Florence

It's so sweet of you to say I've inspired you and I wish you all the best for your MSE journey.

Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

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