Smacking. Could you/would you/do you?
Comments
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That's not what I'm referring to.
I mean the posts where people are saying the equivalent of 'I do it because it is the only way', or 'it stops them becoming tearaways', or 'they'll end up dead in front of a car if they don't have the sharp shock of a smack first time around'.
those posts are in response to being questioned as to why, its very difficult to not sound defensive when someone is attacking !Bow Ties ARE cool :cool:"Just because you are offended, doesnt mean you are right" Ricky Gervais
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Nobody ever killed a child doing that, either. Though you'd possibly have us believe otherwise..:cool:
:rotfl:
Anything that doesn't kill the child is ok then?
(I didn't have to 'trawl' your posts, some of us are capable of remembering recent threads, I'm still willing to bet that any surrogate you go to cares about your plans for the child's upbringing.)0 -
mishkanorman wrote: »those posts are in response to being questioned as to why, its very difficult to not sound defensive when someone is attacking !
...in your opinion.
Attacking or questioning? Surely it's perfectly possible to answer questons in a calm and rational way. In my experience, people are defensive when they feel guilty, insecure or that they're somehow in the wrong.
Oh well, life is too short to spend time splitting hairs. I'm happy with my non-smacking stance and there I'll stay.[FONT="][FONT="] Fighting the biggest battle of my life.
Started 30th January 2018.
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mishkanorman wrote: »Can you really not see that when parents smack its to avoid the same situation happening over and over again, would you want to get to the crossing and shove your child to the floor time and time again as they havent made the connection of what they were doing wrong ?
first day, smack bum, second occasion reminder of smack and warning it will happen again if they arent following the rules and so on,
its a re-enforcement of what is being said, not hit first warn later.
Oh come on.
People who are never hit for doing hazardous things never learn not to do them?
How about teaching children the reasons behind the behaviour you want from them? They are capable of taking a lot on board even from a really young age.0 -
You can't take the supposed moral highground of "never ever" smacking your kids, then allow yourself "a clip here and there"!? Are you that desperate for the approval of your peers?
"A clip her and there, that you could count on one hand", is about the extent of what most people are advocating as a viable option that should be available to parents.
I never took the moral high ground. Stick to the facts, not your assumptions, I said clearly I was, I said even more clearer that I never have smacked, slapped, attacked, walloped or whichever interpretation you wish to add to a simple 'clip here and there' over 18 years that can be counted on one hand so on that basis it could be maybe once every 3/4 years, I also asked my kids this question do they remember the clip? Neither of them do, so no damage caused to their future development, so no, I have never smacked my kids.0 -
I think the general problem with smacking is that when there *is* abuse happening, its creates a grey area for those trying to identify abuse. If a parent can say 'oh, that bruise on the leg was a smack because they were putting themselves in danger' when actually the bruise is because the parent just likes to hit them occasionally, it is pretty hard to know for sure.
.............
However, regardless of devil's advocate, until I have kids I'm not going to cast any stones from my glasshouse!
I completely understand that argument but really if your doing enough to bruise your child doesn't that suggest that you've crossed a line?
I'm not sure really though. When I'm talking about smacking I am reall just talking about a very light tap but I supposed that is enough to bruise some people. I know I often end up with bruises and have no idea where they came from.Wedding 5th September 20150 -
Of course not, but using the same argument a parent who smacks is not condemning their children to a life of violence and those children aren't going to become adults who beat up their spouses or elderly parents.Maybe I'm reading the thread wrongly!
As I read it, the majority of the pro-smacking posters seem to be incredibly defensive about their right to smack. They also seem to be saying that it is the ONLY way to raise a well behaved child who is not killed by running into a road.
For instance I've seen my words used and twisted a few times in this thread, though I spoke specifically about my children and children in my care, and did not comment on anyone else's parenting choices.
I'm just interested to know if most of you honestly think that non-smacking carers/parents are condemning their children to an ASBO or to death by car/van/bus...
If not, and if you're comfortable with your parenting choices, then why the defensiveness?
I guess some parents who smack are defensive but that may be because they're being accused of being abusive parents and likened to a wife batterer!
As I said earlier it's an emotive subject and just because someone doesn't do something it doesn't make everybody else wrong if they do it. It's down to the individual parent and child, some may advocate the naughty step some think that's wrong, some may advocate smacking some think that is wrong.
I think everyone on here wants what's best for their children and they're doing what they think is best for their children. What works for one may not work for another but that doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong.Dum Spiro Spero0 -
Person_one wrote: »Oh come on.
People who are never hit for doing hazardous things never learn not to do them?
How about teaching children the reasons behind the behaviour you want from them? They are capable of taking a lot on board even from a really young age.
I didnt say that, but different people teach in different ways the same as different people learn in different ways.
In certain situations some parents find smacking to be the most effective way,
How about considering that most parents weigh up the pro's and cons of every aspect of parenting, I wouldnt use ANY form of discipline without thinking about it fully first.
JayII,
Have you been watching The Good wife ? I thought it was fairly obvious that when i give a response it is always MY opinion or did you want me to answer on behalf of everyone else here ?Bow Ties ARE cool :cool:"Just because you are offended, doesnt mean you are right" Ricky Gervais0 -
As I said earlier it's an emotive subject and just because someone doesn't do something it doesn't make everybody else wrong if they do it.
Its not wrong because I don't do it, its wrong because its wrong. Sorry, but it just is.
If I went on the pets board talking about how I was 'lightly slapping' my new puppy to make her behave I'd get pretty short shrift, but apparently children have less protection and less sympathy.0 -
Person_one wrote: »Its not wrong because I don't do it, its wrong because its wrong. Sorry, but it just is.
If I went on the pets board talking about how I was 'lightly slapping' my new puppy to make her behave I'd get pretty short shrift, but apparently children have less protection and less sympathy.
i wish you had put that in one of your opening posts, I wouldnt have bothered responding.Bow Ties ARE cool :cool:"Just because you are offended, doesnt mean you are right" Ricky Gervais0
This discussion has been closed.
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