Real-life MMD: Pet dog or doghouse?

24567

Comments

  • If your wife is so keen to get a dog then let her go and buy one herself - surely she is not asking you to use your own money on a dog that you do not want ? You should also make it quite clear that you will be not paying for food and vets bills and you will not be taking the dog for walks. If she still calls you stingy, cancel the surprise holiday and buy yourself a new laptop, or camera or anything else that YOU want with YOUR money . . .
  • Avon2001
    Avon2001 Posts: 99 Forumite
    You don't mention how old your son is but since you say he's been wanting one for years I'd guess at least 10, so what happens when he becomes an adult? Landlords in general are often chary about young people and very few of them will accept pets, so what happens to the dog when he wants to move out? Unless you and your wife are happy to keep the dog when he goes (and he's happy with that), I'd suggest it's a bad move.

    On a side note while I appreciate you want to surprize your wife, I think it would be better to have open discussions about your finances and your goals and perhaps as a part of that agree personal allowances which you could use to surprize your wife if you wish. I have often had the impression that parents are most keen to buy their children things that they want/wanted themselves so you may find that actually your wife would rather have the dog than the holiday and might be quite happy to keep it after your son moves out.
  • After a couple of years resistance and filling the gap with a couple of goldfish and 2 budgies, my wifes finally got her way and we got a dog over the weekend.
  • hutch610
    hutch610 Posts: 105 Forumite
    Doesn't say how old son is. But does read as though you want to just take your wife on holiday as a surprise. So assume son is old enough to stay behind and could look after the dog. Everyone wins.

    Dogs are so loving and bring lot to a family but are a tie if you have a hectic life and go away alot.

    But a dog is a family member also, when you have one and should be included. Ideal for us as it was a case if the dog can't on holiday we don't but we have a caravan so she goes everywhere we go.
    :female:
  • BNT
    BNT Posts: 2,788
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    If your wife is so keen to get a dog then let her go and buy one herself - surely she is not asking you to use your own money on a dog that you do not want ? You should also make it quite clear that you will be not paying for food and vets bills and you will not be taking the dog for walks. If she still calls you stingy, cancel the surprise holiday and buy yourself a new laptop, or camera or anything else that YOU want with YOUR money . . .

    They are married, so I don't think 'his' and 'her' money is relevant.
  • After years of pleading by youngest son, we finally got a dog when our boys were aged 10, 12 and 14. Surprise - they all helped with the dog walking (we had a rota so that it worked out fairly). Biggest benefactor was eldest son, who was a bit of a Kevin in his teenage years, but would always react well to the dog and accept love from him even when he seemed to hate the entire rest of the world! It was a good move and when that dog eventually died, we got another one within months.
  • newpuppy
    newpuppy Posts: 39
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    Trust me, this is a no brainer. If there are any doubts whatsoever about getting a dog, then DON'T.

    A dog's only link to a decent life is its owner, and if there's not total commitment, there will be problems - for the dog, yourself, your family, the rescue community and possibly the poor vet who has to put the dog to sleep when things hit rock bottom (check out the figures for unwanted/problem dogs if you need a shock).

    Getting a dog is rarely a happy-ever-after experience that can be achieved just through handing over the asking price. You will need to be prepared to spend massive amounts of time and money for as long as the dog lives, and constantly be on the ball, adjusting your lifestyle and making compromises for the sake of the dog. The puppy stage is quite taxing; old age and infirmity are more so.

    Please think carefully. Dogs are not pawns in the game of families, and if you make the wrong choice, it will soon come back to haunt you.

    After nearly 50 years of dogs, I think they are wonderful AS LONG AS YOU DON'T WEAKEN. You need to be 100% committed, otherwise things will go pear-shaped.

    Stick with the doghouse. I wasn't allowed a dog when I was at home, but I didn't hold a grudge and I sure as hell made up for it once I left!
  • BNT
    BNT Posts: 2,788
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    edited 7 November 2012 at 9:01AM
    As with nearly all these MMDs, you will never know what the right answer is if you do not talk to the people concerned. Why not just tell your wife that you have been saving for a holiday, but if she thinks a dog would be more appropriate for the family you're happy to reconsider? It will be no less of a surprise if you tell her now than it would be if you told her after booking the holiday.

    There seems little point spending money on a holiday, no matter how nice it is, if she would rather spend it on a dog.

    If you buy the dog because you have caved in, rather than because you have talked it over and agreed it between you, you are never going to feel particularly happy about having the dog around the place.

    It will also allow you to have a sensible conversation about getting a dog without it coming back to you being accused of stinginess.
  • scarlet_macaw
    scarlet_macaw Posts: 51 Forumite
    edited 7 November 2012 at 9:08AM
    Why is this a diemma? Before making such a life changing decision as aquiring a dog there needs to be a full and frank "all cards on the table" discussion between you and your wife. Now is the time to explain to her that you have been saving to enable you to go on holiday together and make it clear that it is an "either or" decision. Would she want to give up the holiday to get your son the dog? Then you will be in a position to make a difficult choice.

    Incidentally there is so much information we do not know; how old is your son as others have asked? When were you last able to go on holiday - is this just the normal annual holiday or haven't you been away for years? Is there just a need to save for a 'normal' holiday because of your financial circumstances or are you saving for the 'holiday of a lifetime?' and do you just have concerns about the cost of a dog and the financial priorities or do you actively not want a dog yourself? (I know that I would not have a dog in the house if you paid me!)

    All of these factors will influence your ultimate decision, but it must be a decision taken jointly with your wife, where she knows the full options as well.
  • I can't really give advice on this, I got suckered by my kids into getting a dog. Yes mum we'll take our turn to walk it, feed it, clean up after it. So I had a discussion with hubby and we came to the decision, that yes we would get a dog, but it would be my dog for my birthday. We were under no illusions about our kids, daughter has taken Tilly out about hgalf a dozen times in the year we've had her, son is somewhat better, but has to be nagged for at least an hour before taking Tilly out for less time than it took to get him to take her.
    since getting Tilly I've lost 2.5 stone as I walk her at least twice a day and hubby has lost over a stone too, the best part of having Tilly is that the evening walk with her is done by my husband and myself together, no interruptions,no tv, no computer,just me and him walking , chatting and chucking the ball for Tilly. It's the best hour of the day.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 342.5K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.9K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 234.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.8K Life & Family
  • 247.4K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards