Can boyfriends ex take money from my wage as child matinence?

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  • 13Kent
    13Kent Posts: 1,177
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    In the old CSA system, the household income of the absent parent was taken into account - if the absent parent's partner was working then it was considered that they could contribute to the household bills therefore the absent parent had more disposable income and therefore their maintenance liability was more. This may be why they think your income will have a bearing on the maintenance needed.

    However I believe that the new CMS system is based purely on the income of the absent parent, taking into account how many nights that parent cares for the child in question, and also how many children from a new relationship that parent also needs to support.
  • Top_Girl
    Top_Girl Posts: 1,211
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    I think the issue here is that you and your partner are the ones instigating the change, purely on what suits the two of you and your new baby and completely disregarding the arrangement he has in place with his ex and son.

    I'm not sure why you think you and he now have the right to dictate to her how things should be and unsettle the situation by changing an arrangement that worked before, because you are now having a baby and your wants/needs have changed.

    I'm also always wary of parents who don't want to pay for their children. As has been pointed out, your partner could work three evenings/nights per week easily enough whilst maintaining the situation you two have decided is best, but is choosing not to.

    I certainly wouldn't be happy about it in her shoes. Your childcare arrangements aren't her concern.
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,279
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    Top_Girl wrote: »
    I think the issue here is that you and your partner are the ones instigating the change, purely on what suits the two of you and your new baby and completely disregarding the arrangement he has in place with his ex and son.
    Diddums. Sometimes things change.
    I'm not sure why you think you and he now have the right to dictate to her how things should be and unsettle the situation by changing an arrangement that worked before, because you are now having a baby and your wants/needs have changed.
    I'm not sure why you think you have the right to dictate who should work and who shouldn't. They've banned slavery you know.
    I'm also always wary of parents who don't want to pay for their children.
    So that's all parents who don't work them.
    As has been pointed out, your partner could work three evenings/nights per week easily enough whilst maintaining the situation you two have decided is best, but is choosing not to.

    I certainly wouldn't be happy about it in her shoes. Your childcare arrangements aren't her concern.
    They are if she wants him to work.

    This thread is over a month old. The OP wanted a factual answer, and has got it. Stir up the morality debate if you want, the OP is probably long gone and her and her ex have probably already decided what to do, based on factual information not the opinions of a load of hypocritical moralisers :p
  • decbel
    decbel Posts: 2,804 Forumite
    OP

    The straight answer to whether your partners ex can dip into your wage is this-absolutely not.
  • Top_Girl
    Top_Girl Posts: 1,211
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    Spot the bitter ex :D
  • MataNui
    MataNui Posts: 1,075 Forumite
    13Kent wrote: »
    In the old CSA system, the household income of the absent parent was taken into account - if the absent parent's partner was working then it was considered that they could contribute to the household bills therefore the absent parent had more disposable income and therefore their maintenance liability was more. This may be why they think your income will have a bearing on the maintenance needed.

    They asked the questions on the form but its never been a legal obligation to provide that information. CSA would tell you otherwise at the time but they would also say its only ever to your advantage ( for example that it would reduce your liability if your partner was on a low income) which was another CSA lie.

    CSA have always been a bunch of lying cocks. I simply wrote 'none of your !!!!ing business' on that part of the form. The absolute worst they can do if you didnt provide the information as assume a 50/50 split for the bills.
  • Not entirely unrelated to the original post but interesting nonetheless

    http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2017/07/19/israeli-supreme-court-mothers-must-share-child-support/
  • Only if you live in Israel. The Israeli Supreme Court has no jurisdiction in the UK.
    I often use a tablet to post, so sometimes my posts will have random letters inserted, or entirely the wrong word if autocorrect is trying to wind me up. Hopefully you'll still know what I mean.
  • unforeseen
    unforeseen Posts: 7,272
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    Sambella wrote: »
    Not entirely unrelated to the original post but interesting nonetheless

    http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2017/07/19/israeli-supreme-court-mothers-must-share-child-support/

    Don't forget, this was a country whose ruler was going to cut a baby in half
  • Firstly no your wages cannot be touched, but any income coming into the household in the form of CTC can be used as income, and as you are on roughly £11000 pa I would imagine you would be entitled to a fair bit on WTC and CTC.

    I understand you don't want to give up your job, but a school job is very flexible, leaving evenings (well 5pm onwards) and weekends open for your partner to work. Shift work such as caring, shop work or factory work, dependent on where you live can fit in well - that way your partner can still be a SAHP for your child together and provide a level of financial contribution to his first child and your family.
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