Please advise - it's all gone SO wrong

SPANIEL36 wrote: »

slightly off subject but you mention kids...where are they now?

They have to live with my ex because of school/college. They come here at weekends unless they get a better offer. Which they do now and then like all teenagers! They think it's fun here and can see how cool it could be when it's finished. At the moment it's just cold and dusty...but they can see what it's doing to me. Some weekends they don't come because I can't afford the petrol and food. They are so supportive and mature and say they admire me for sticking to my guns and keeping on trying to resolve this. What else can I do? I am worried that one of these days they'll realise I couldn't go on forever. I hope they forgive me! They're the reason I've kept fighting but I know I can't do it forever.

My fault. I messed up. I know that.

maysmummy wrote: »

So sorry to read about what has happened to you. The change in your circumstances must have been devastating to you. Do you have any support? XH, children etc?
This may be off the wall, but if it was reposessed would it be the end of the world? you could do what the cat lady did and move into a warm, cosy flat. You may lose a great deal of money but at least you would have your health and your sanity.
Just a thought.

It's a fair point. Thanks. I have one friend I dog-sit for when she's gadding around the world, and she pays me in cash and small appliances, whatever she thinks would make things easier. She gave me a tabletop induction hob which opened the door to new heights in my culinary prowess. A microwave and a George Formby grill can lose their appeal after months and months! She's a bit of an angel. No-one else though, although you peeps are being so kind I'm quite filling up! My family are concerned but useless! I expect my ex is loving every moment! Just bought a new car. Mine just failed the MOT!

The problem is largely that although all my friends are desperately sorry and worried for me, there's not much anyone can do except listen to me moaning about how crap my life is! (And believe me, I'll tear the ears off anyone who'll listen! Mainly because I have no other life any more!) No-one really knows what to suggest, and if anyone I know has twenty grand under the mattress they're keeping very quiet about it. The meanies!

No, losing the house wouldn't be the end of the world. I would be better off without this sh*tstorm... but I am incensed that he will have won and will keep MY money. The little runt. And if I can see this through I could walk off with 60-80 grand. Which will cheer me up for a long time. I was earning 60 grand a year until the divorce, so this has been a very hard lesson in economics. If I get well maybe I'll do well again but it's too far off to think about for the moment. I'd like to think I'll still be irritating the builder in a couple of months! That's as far ahead as I can look at the moment.I am certainly thinking about whether I would ever own a property again, let alone go into property renovation. It's not how it seems on Homes Under the Hammer!

I've learned a lot about money. I enjoy being mean - oops, a moneysavingexpert - and I will forever be happy living on less. It's a challenge but it's better than always striving for the latest in home cinema units and cars and all that.

Maybe some good came of it...