NST Muddy March Marathon

Massive hugs Toni'sfriend. So sorry to hear your news and will be thinking of you and your family.

Day 6
Use it or Lose it
Why would I encourage you to get rid of 'perfectly' good stuff. Well I spend quite a lot of time on the Kon Marie thread, hoarders thread and clutter free threads. I am also of an age (as sadly an increasing number of other turtles are) who have had the experience of clearing out the houses of elderly relatives as well as a nodding acquaintance with several crafters threads many of whom are SABLE members (Stash Accumulated Beyond Life Expectancy).

Grey Queen recently wrote an excellent post on reasons why we keep things (can't find it, will try again later). In brief some of them are:-
1 Paid good money for it
With my accounting head on, I can tell you that this is a 'sunk cost'. Once the money left your pocket (or charged to your credit card) that money was no longer available to you. In the case of a new car, it's worth precisely half of what you paid the moment you drive it off the forecourt. If you do not use the item, you have lost your money but have no benefit.

Think of the dress that you bought that hangs in the wardrobe with the tags still on (massive congratulations to FurryBeastOz on fitting into your dress), the lovely shoes that hurt your feet, the old and ugly (but servicable) chair or other piece of furniture that was put in the garage or shed and rotted away. Environmentally speaking, you have wasted the resources that went into the chair (materials, time , skill) and the dress will cause regret evry time you see it.

If it is possible (and you have the time and patience) sell it (for what it is worth - don't lose a sale for the sake of a few pence). If not pass it on - to a good cause (to sell or pass to someone in need), to a younger family member (Thrifty's children are thrilled with their cousin's old toy). It's taking up head space as well as physical space and if it's in your house, you may be cleaning around it, hurting yourself when you bump into it (and you know that excercise bike isn't for keeping your wardrobe overflow). Release it.

2 Justin Case Bought or acquired a 'new' one but kept the old one for Justin. Think about it. Is it for spares - how often have you used something you kept? Don't you have faith in your new acquisition? Maybe the old one mostly works but not on a particular setting?

I have passed on such things many many times and never regretted it - if I can find someone/ organisation who will use it, out it goes. Grey Queen often freegles non-working machinery 'for parts' and many people are glad to have them. I know a disabled man, too ill to work, who fixes old computers to keep occupied (he's allowed to do a few hours work for therapeutic reasons).

3 Fear
Fear that you won't be able to afford a replacement when you need it. Also covers the worst category of hoarders (as in the tv programme of that name) who hoard food and cannot bear to let old newspapers go.
This is often linked to loss (the one you loved is gone, so you keep all their possessions as a substitute) or childhood deprivation (never enough food due to lack of money or poor parenting meant fending for yourself and eating cold baked beans). Food is a comfort, possessions are a massive security blanket. But poor stock control leads to spoiled food and the 'nest' becomes a trap - cutting you off from friends and new relationships.

I get a little bit edgy when the cupboards are bare and spent many years keeping dismantled pieces of broken furniture and fixings (often under beds or behind wardrobes as there was nowhere else) as I genuinely couldn't afford to buy materials to repair things. Have reused many of them but finally have my house to a reasonable standard and an emergency fund for repairs). Hence last year's skip when I finally parted with all the 'spare bits' some up to 20 years old.

4 Sentimental reasons.
Photos are a prime example. Often we have good reasons for keeping them but are they 'well kept'. Are they in a box or album and how often do you look at them? We all know people who can't eat a fry up or meal without posting a picture on facebook showing everyone what a good time they are having. Be discriminating. Your computer can be useful. One tip - if you have 'old' photos make sure the older members of the family label them on the back - otherwise you will have 'old' photos of random people (my mother has one of the son of the man who took my parent's wedding photos, sent as a Christmas card when he was a baby).

As a warning, some on the KM thread have found letters from old boyfriends - ie first teenage crush. Again it is a matter of choosing what is important and relevant to you as you are now (not a crying 13 yo).

5 Kept for Best
A pernicious one this. Something I think the older generation are more guilty of including a whole room no-one dared enter except on highdays and holidays. The carefullly displayed china (often wedding presents) preserved behind glass. Best towels and sheets (one Kondoite found wedding present sheets still in their wrapping after 50 years) whilst tatty ones are in use.

Remember the Irma Bombeck quote (someone uses it as their signature) "If I had my time again, I would use the beautiful candle, shaped like a rose, that died in storage."

6 Heirlooms
If you are not careful sentimental can morph into 'heirlooms' in which custody of the said artefact is passed on to a younger generation with massive expectations imposed on the new custodian. One Kondoite suspected her mil of clearing her house in this fashion (truly hideous they where, so maybe a latent passive aggressive act - or maybe I'm thinking of my own ex-mil).

My family is quite good at this , insisting that certain things must be kept in the family but then deciding it should be kept at my house. Took many years (and even shouting) to stop my mother accepting things on my behalf. I have taken things in but as soon as I found a worthy/ needy recipient, they left.

My advice to a newly single woman (unexpectedly dragged into a post-retirement divorce) was to not be too proud to accept cast-offs (she had lots of the type of friends who replace whole rooms annually) but also that it was her space and to politely but happily refuse anything 'not to her taste (could say she only had a small space so as not to offend).

Another mega post and I am aware the I am speaking to myself as much as you.

Wellbeing
Take a social media sabbatical (I will try to limit my contact with penguins/ forest creatures - honestly I rescue them from peril and the next day they have got themselves into another fix). Zumba twins is always the same - photos from Zumba class/ how long the cycle to work took/ women drinking/ help with finding lost cats - think before they took up zumba/ exercise in a big way they spent all their time losing and finding cats. Niece, DS1 and his gf are only weekend/ occasional posters.

Inspiration
I think I can, I know I can (the little engine that could).