Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

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  • roobee13
    roobee13 Posts: 204 Forumite
    Totally agree with KittyKat. I would like my OH to make the one romantic gesture of proposing to make me feel special and secure. I personally don't want want it to be a 'shall we get married discussion', I want it to come from him. It's probably the only thing in life I'm traditional about.

    I am lucky that we had a big chat a few months back where he told me he wants to marry me, so now I have to just wait... Doesn't make it any easier though.

    Each to their own though, it would be very dull if we all did things the same way.
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,367
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    7roland8 wrote: »
    Gosh cannot believe people are talking about this - as if women had to wait and hint! Sounds rather Victorian to me.


    We were together three years, got engaged and then married after a further 6 months - wedding organised within a week and no - not pregnant.


    Never got a proposal at all - we just knew we'd get married - talked about it and decided.


    Why all the waiting and fussing - if you all are supposed to know each other so well?

    In my case, we did both. We agreed to get married, started discussion how we envisioned the day, and even agreed on the month, but it's once he made it official with a ring etc... we started the real planning.

    A bit like a holiday, you can talk about your dream destination, when you'd like to go, what you would do, but that doesn't mean it is going to happen. It becomes real when you pay the deposit!
  • Whoop
    Whoop Posts: 59 Forumite
    Told OH that I was feeling broody and he asked if I wanted to be married before having kids and I said yes. Maybe he does actually think about it.
  • We communicate well but I know he's not very keen on marrying, so the impetus has to come from him or I'll feel like I've forced him.

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Bremainer
  • lulu_92
    lulu_92 Posts: 2,758
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    Sister got engaged 2 weeks ago. They've been together for less time than us, but I know that now is not the right time for us to get engaged, what with other things eating our finances.

    I'm hinting for Christmas :D
    Our Rainbow Twins born 17th April 2016
    :A 02.06.2015 :A
    :A 29.12.2018 :A



  • hieveryone
    hieveryone Posts: 3,830
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    Hi folks,

    Well I am still waiting, and soon we will have been together for 4 years.

    Had a bit of a bust up a while back where I laid everything bare about how I felt, that I wasn't good enough and that it was eating away at my confidence and security in the relationship.

    We had a good talk though and have agreed to move forward without the 'pressure'. There was some hints about 'Christmas'. So we shall see.

    I am happy my feelings are 'out there' and he has seen just how damaging it is to have me wait around, I almost feel a 'relief' that it is out in the open.

    Now all I have to do is wait....


    Bought is to buy. Brought is to bring.
  • I have been reading this topic with great interest.

    I have been with my OH for 9 years in December. We bought our first house early this year after lot's of saving. I feel like marriage is the next step. We've talked about it but I still can't see anything happening any time soon. OH knows how much it upsets me every time I hear about somebody else getting engaged - none of them have been together anywhere near as long as us - but I just don't think he gets it.

    I'm like a lot of you and feel the proposal has to come from OH. It doesn't have to be a big romantic gesture or anything like that, but I don't want him to feel like he has been forced into marriage.

    So here I am, just waiting and planning our wedding on Pinterest. :o
  • newthrift
    newthrift Posts: 1,252
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    fbaby same here for me too! We have discussed what we want to do, I even went to a wedding fair yesterday with my mum and his mum and he has basically hinted it will be before Christmas :D it's just the waiting knowing it's coming but wheeeennn ha ha! Very exciting and I think most people get to that point where they are just ready, most have discussed it but like the proposal to be an official 'this is it we are getting married'!
    Christmas is the most magical time of the year :santa2:
    Mum to two boys :heartpuls
  • Whoop wrote: »
    Told OH that I was feeling broody and he asked if I wanted to be married before having kids and I said yes. Maybe he does actually think about it.

    We have talked about kids too. I have said I want to start the planning for this when I welcome in my 30's and I confirmed I want to be married before we have children, which he said he knew. So I am hoping he has put two and two together!

    Lulu 92 - I am lucky I don't have a sister, I think I would find that hard. But like you say, you know it is not the right time for you anyway. Christmas would be lovely :)

    Isabelle0504 - Yep I am guilty of the pinterest planning too! I found our recently a friend of mine is doing it as well! It is just too hard not too!

    newthrift: Ah that is so exciting! I would be happy to be in your situation, the preparing is happening (getting ideas and saving - the important bit for me!) so the proposal would just seal the deal! How was the wedding fair?

    I have been with my OH for 2 years (almost) but I feel like I am at that point in my life where I want to become a wife and a Mummy and be part of a family environment and I know that this man is the one I want to be that with!
  • newthrift
    newthrift Posts: 1,252
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    prettykittykat that is what we are doing saving and gathering info in. The wedding fair was really good, got some freebies and collected lots of info. Was worth going to, even just to open my eyes to other ideas - which we could then look to make!
    Christmas is the most magical time of the year :santa2:
    Mum to two boys :heartpuls
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