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  • FIRST POST
    • FatherAbraham
    • By FatherAbraham 15th Jul 17, 10:23 PM
    • 672Posts
    • 508Thanks
    FatherAbraham
    On Burying Treasure
    • #1
    • 15th Jul 17, 10:23 PM
    On Burying Treasure 15th Jul 17 at 10:23 PM
    I want to stash some cash, about a month's net salary, in a safe place, so that, if I become a fugitive, I can retrieve the assets.

    Clearly, I need to hide the money away from my residence/land, so presumably on land which I don't own.

    Has anyone got any useful advice on maximizing the security and availability of hidden physical-asset stashes? Burying treasure seems to be a lost art these days.

    Warmest regards,
    FA
    Last edited by FatherAbraham; 15-07-2017 at 10:32 PM.
Page 4
    • FatherAbraham
    • By FatherAbraham 20th Jul 17, 9:05 PM
    • 672 Posts
    • 508 Thanks
    FatherAbraham
    But this isn't the scenario you've presented. Yours is on the lam, not the end of the world. IIRC the ATMs still worked but the amount that could be withdrawn was restricted.
    Originally posted by wmb194
    The specific scenario which leads to needing liquidity isn't the point. If you only prepare for specific scenarios, the ones you manage to imagine in advance, then you'll be vulnerable to situations which you didn't conceive of. It's no use crying "It's not fair! I never thought that X could happen!"


    Perhaps the answer is simpler than you think: you could probably hold a month's net salary in a money belt. A couple of thousand in twenties shouldn't be a problem. (Which you keep on you at all times.)
    Originally posted by wmb194
    Well, we talked about keeping some cash on one's person earlier in the thread, but one hundred twenty-pound notes is actually quite a bulky pile, fairly uncomfortable to wear, and thus a safe, accessible, unguarded stashing place, iif available, is preferable.

    Warmest regards,
    FA
    • Apodemus
    • By Apodemus 20th Jul 17, 10:22 PM
    • 682 Posts
    • 488 Thanks
    Apodemus
    Ok, if we are specifically talking about hiding a suitably damp-resistant package containing 100 £20 notes, then I stand by my suggestion of under a flat gravestone in a remote, no-longer-used burial ground.
    • schiff
    • By schiff 20th Jul 17, 10:29 PM
    • 17,522 Posts
    • 8,836 Thanks
    schiff
    Presumably one day Father A is going to be a captured fugitive - sorry Father but it will happen - and all these posters on MSE will be charged as being accessories. I think it's nice to have something in common with the adjacent cells rather than taking pot luck. One can hardly wait.
    • shaun from Africa
    • By shaun from Africa 21st Jul 17, 12:11 AM
    • 9,291 Posts
    • 10,448 Thanks
    shaun from Africa
    Presumably one day Father A is going to be a captured fugitive -
    Originally posted by schiff
    You can be a fugitive or you can be captured but you can't be both at the same time.
    Once captured you become an ex-fugitive.
    Pedantic mode off.


    Well, we talked about keeping some cash on one's person earlier in the thread, but one hundred twenty-pound notes is actually quite a bulky pile, fairly uncomfortable to wear, and thus a safe, accessible, unguarded stashing place, iif available, is preferable.
    Originally posted by FatherAbraham

    100 new and uncreased notes is actually only slightly over 11mm thick so not really that bulky at all, in fact, this probably isn't much different to the thickness of a folded wallet.
    • grey gym sock
    • By grey gym sock 21st Jul 17, 5:36 AM
    • 4,045 Posts
    • 3,514 Thanks
    grey gym sock
    I once had to bury a friend's deceased Guinea pig in a field (clay soil, drought) at night. I dug for what felt like hours, with my friend sobbing quietly beside me, until the light of our head torches attracted the local constabulary. Difficult times.

    Therefore I suggest you consider soil type, rainfall, depth and digging utensils, proximity to local roads, as part of your plan.
    Originally posted by Puddylove
    what i learnt from this is that, if you're burying treasure somewhere you might be disturbed, you should take a dead guinea pig with you to provide a cover story.
    • wmb194
    • By wmb194 21st Jul 17, 5:48 AM
    • 28 Posts
    • 31 Thanks
    wmb194
    The specific scenario which leads to needing liquidity isn't the point. If you only prepare for specific scenarios, the ones you manage to imagine in advance, then you'll be vulnerable to situations which you didn't conceive of. It's no use crying "It's not fair! I never thought that X could happen!"
    Originally posted by FatherAbraham
    So every scenario under the sun?! So what about the scenario where you arrive at your stash covered in blood and brains? You'll need a cache, not a stash, with far more materiel than just a few banknotes but judging by your OP this has already been discounted. Carrying some cash covers most non-extreme scenarios and, as Shaun says, 100 notes isn't so much: I've carried that amount in an envelope in my front jeans pocket. This can be in addition to an underground stash because in one obvious scenario you won't be able to get to it. (Anyway, I'm not even sure why "one month's net salary" is the magic number.)

    I agree, in every non-bizarre delusion comfort is paramount, so perhaps instead a man purse or bum bag? I'd also carry a miniature trumpet in case during your escape you ever need to gain favour with a difficult child.
    • Apodemus
    • By Apodemus 21st Jul 17, 5:54 AM
    • 682 Posts
    • 488 Thanks
    Apodemus
    Presumably one day Father A is going to be a captured fugitive - sorry Father but it will happen - and all these posters on MSE will be charged as being accessories. I think it's nice to have something in common with the adjacent cells rather than taking pot luck. One can hardly wait.
    Originally posted by schiff
    I'm working on the assumption that Father A is trawling (as opposed to trolling!) for ideas for a crime novel...and that is what I'll say in court!

    This is also why he doesn't want to give away the actual scenario, as this would be the main plot of his story.


    Actually, I'm mainly just surprised that we've all been sucked in and this has now run to a fourth page!
    • Gadfium
    • By Gadfium 21st Jul 17, 8:06 AM
    • 609 Posts
    • 1,117 Thanks
    Gadfium
    Rather than looking for ideas to bury money in the event of a zombie apocalypse, perhaps FA should be seeking some psychological help? in all my time I have never heard of anyone wanting to bury money in case they became a fugitive and escaped the law. That's a level of paranoia that probably needs specialist help...
    • Apodemus
    • By Apodemus 21st Jul 17, 8:42 AM
    • 682 Posts
    • 488 Thanks
    Apodemus
    Rather than looking for ideas to bury money in the event of a zombie apocalypse, perhaps FA should be seeking some psychological help? in all my time I have never heard of anyone wanting to bury money in case they became a fugitive and escaped the law. That's a level of paranoia that probably needs specialist help...
    Originally posted by Gadfium
    Oh no, Zombie Apocalypse! Hadn't thought of that...scratch my burial ground idea!
    • Malthusian
    • By Malthusian 21st Jul 17, 9:02 AM
    • 2,404 Posts
    • 3,340 Thanks
    Malthusian
    You see, that's the problem with specific scenarios, isn't it? Because if you were trying to avoid a new girlfriend's murderous ex-husband, or a lynch mob accussing you of necrophilia, then your "hand yourself over" idea looks a bit daft, doesn't it?
    Originally posted by FatherAbraham
    No, the idea of doing anything else looks even more daft, because if the police don't even suspect you of committing a crime then there's nothing to stop you walking into the nearest police station and asking for their protection. Now, sadly we all know the police are a bit useless at that, but even if they refuse to do anything, you don't need to go home and wait to become a victim. If it's not the entire machinery of the state chasing you but a single man or group, there is nothing to stop you fleeing to a friend or a relative or a random AirBNB and carrying on using your credit cards and online banking.

    The buried treasure scenario only makes sense if it's the police after you. If it's a crime you didn't commit then the best survival strategy is the one that gives you the best chance of a continued happy life, and that is to hand yourself in and clear your name in the courts. If it's a crime you did commit then the best survival strategy was not to commit it in the first place.

    Rather than looking for ideas to bury money in the event of a zombie apocalypse, perhaps FA should be seeking some psychological help? in all my time I have never heard of anyone wanting to bury money in case they became a fugitive and escaped the law. That's a level of paranoia that probably needs specialist help..
    by Gadfium
    Really? You must not use the Internet much, or watch TV. People have been fantasising about life on the run since The Count of Monte Cristo. Every university has a zombie survival club nowadays.
    Last edited by Malthusian; 21-07-2017 at 9:08 AM.
    • Gadfium
    • By Gadfium 21st Jul 17, 2:09 PM
    • 609 Posts
    • 1,117 Thanks
    Gadfium
    Really? You must not use the Internet much, or watch TV. People have been fantasising about life on the run since The Count of Monte Cristo. Every university has a zombie survival club nowadays.
    Originally posted by Malthusian
    I first used the Internet in 1994 on a 14.4k dialup modem. Infoseek and Altavista (remember them) had a total listing of less then 200,000 webpages on the whole web.

    The thing with fantasies is that they are just that- fantasies. Once you start obsessing about them or trying to turn them into real life then you start to have a problem.
    • kidmugsy
    • By kidmugsy 21st Jul 17, 3:05 PM
    • 9,368 Posts
    • 6,143 Thanks
    kidmugsy
    ... gold sovereigns are just a needless encumbrance when one simply wants unremarkable liquidity to buy groceries, a used car, or rent a room.
    Originally posted by FatherAbraham
    I once read tips about avoiding inflation and ruin under incompetent government. It was written by an Argentinian who presumably knew a thing or two about the problem.

    He recommended against gold coins, the value of an individual coin being too high. He warmly approved of gold but said you should use low carat, second-hand gold jewellery. More suitable for everyday trading or shopping, apparently.
    • LHW99
    • By LHW99 21st Jul 17, 8:48 PM
    • 805 Posts
    • 625 Thanks
    LHW99
    He recommended against gold coins, the value of an individual coin being too high. He warmly approved of gold but said you should use low carat, second-hand gold jewellery. More suitable for everyday trading or shopping, apparently.
    So perhaps multiple body piercings in non-visible parts of the anatomy ......?
    • Flobberchops
    • By Flobberchops 21st Jul 17, 9:10 PM
    • 519 Posts
    • 357 Thanks
    Flobberchops
    So perhaps multiple body piercings in non-visible parts of the anatomy ......?
    Originally posted by LHW99
    I'm way ahead of you

    (Joking)

    (maybe)
    I work for a UK bank, but any comments made on this forum are solely my personal opinion. Caveat Emptor!
    • Apodemus
    • By Apodemus 21st Jul 17, 10:06 PM
    • 682 Posts
    • 488 Thanks
    Apodemus
    So perhaps multiple body piercings in non-visible parts of the anatomy ......?
    Originally posted by LHW99
    Brings a whole new meaning to playing with your loose change!
    • stoozie1
    • By stoozie1 21st Jul 17, 10:27 PM
    • 238 Posts
    • 89 Thanks
    stoozie1
    The smallest locker that Big Yellow Storage provide, with the account in a friend/relative's name.
    • bob bank spanker
    • By bob bank spanker 21st Jul 17, 11:13 PM
    • 365 Posts
    • 622 Thanks
    bob bank spanker
    Ok, if we are specifically talking about hiding a suitably damp-resistant package containing 100 £20 notes, then I stand by my suggestion of under a flat gravestone in a remote, no-longer-used burial ground.
    Originally posted by Apodemus
    I agree, and bizarrely, I know of such a graveyard in a totally disused church, and when I first came across it with my father about 25 years ago commented that this would be an excellent place to hide something.

    I also think one month low balling a bit, three months would leave more wriggle room.
    Last edited by bob bank spanker; Yesterday at 2:12 PM.
    • Bazofts Revenge
    • By Bazofts Revenge 23rd Jul 17, 3:32 PM
    • 275 Posts
    • 138 Thanks
    Bazofts Revenge
    Get in with a load of students, visit their digs, locate a small cupboard slip the treasure inside and stick a note on the door stating 'Cleaning cupboard'. That should keep it secure. In addition they don't seem to lock doors that often so access is just about guaranteed.
    Solar PV cost £5760 (15/03/13)
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    • Shashy
    • By Shashy 24th Jul 17, 12:55 PM
    • 34 Posts
    • 28 Thanks
    Shashy
    This is my favourite thread of the year. By a mile.
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