Proof of overnight stays.

Hi,
I have 3 boys who have been staying overnight at least once a week with me since April. I contacted the child maintenance service to inform them of this and the said they would contact my ex to get her to confirm this. I received a letter from the child maintenance service saying they could not accept the changes to the shared care agreement as there is no court order in place. I applied for a court but the judge dismissed my application because I could not commit to every other weekend, I could only commit to 50% of the weekends. I sent my ex an e-mail saying from the start of the next school year I will see the boys on alternate weekends and have asked her to confirm the new arrangement but I am yet to hear back from her. Is there any other way to prove to the child maintenance service that the boys stay overnight? I have considered informing my ex that as the boys stay overnight at least once a week I have worked out what I should pay her using the child maintenance calculator on the official site so from the 1st of October I will only pay her that amount. She can the take the rest through collect and pay if she wishes.
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Comments

  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    Are you currently on collect and pay?
  • Wrighty1977
    Wrighty1977 Posts: 26 Forumite
    No, I am currently on direct pay.
  • Fission
    Fission Posts: 225 Forumite
    Your position is not clear.

    Do you have one night contact for something less than fifty-two weekends a year?

    If so, that won't amount to the requisite 52 nights per year for each child. Not unless you also have overnight contact at other times (eg, school holidays, half-term).

    What would the figure be over a full year?
  • 13Kent
    13Kent Posts: 1,177
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    I have heard of people positioning the children in front of the tv showing the tv guide with time and date on and taking a photo and using that as evidence of the children staying with them, as unfortunately historically the csa take the PWC's word for if they have overnight contact or not.
  • Wrighty1977
    Wrighty1977 Posts: 26 Forumite
    The boys stay with me every other weekend for two nights and they will stay over during the holidays and bank holiday weekends also so it will be a minimum of 52 nights a year. I would like them to stay more but my ex won't allow it. I think she's doing this because she will receive less maintenance.
  • Sambella
    Sambella Posts: 417
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    If you don’t pay the calculated amount you will be moved to collect and pay.

    The CMS is really not helpful in these number of nights disputes only way you can prove it is maybe have a family member/neighbour sign a statement or something and send pictures of them in bed with that days paper alongside them. So stupid really.

    They really shouldn’t take sides as it just causes aggravation. The CMS actually encourage family based agreements where no court orders are required! It also costs to get a court order which is unfair on the person seeking it.

    Was there a reason that you wouldn’t commit to every other weekend, work perhaps? Contact usually works around the non resident parents availability rather than the days she wants you to have them.
  • I've had the same. I was having mine 3 nights a week. Ex quit her job and has made it so I have them 1/2 imes a week. I'm more than happy to have them more but CMS will not accept photos as evidence to say I have them overnight more than once a week.
  • Wrighty1977
    Wrighty1977 Posts: 26 Forumite
    I work 1 Saturday a month and 1 Sunday every 2 months but they do not occur on a regular basis.
  • Wrighty1977
    Wrighty1977 Posts: 26 Forumite
    I have now arranged my work to enable me to see the boys every other weekend. I have e-mailed my ex saying I can start seeing the boys on alternate weekends, and given her 3 weekends that this can start from, but she hasn't e-mailed me back. She has text me saying she wants to meet in person. I think she's saying this so nothing will be documented so I have e-mailed her saying I will only meet in person if a mediator is present. Has anyone got any ideas?
  • newbutold
    newbutold Posts: 752
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    No, I am currently on direct pay.

    If you go down the collect and pay route, it will end up costing you another 20% on top of the full amount you owe. :eek:
    If my posts have random wrong words, please blame the damn autocorrect not me :D
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