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It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

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  • penelopedee_2
    penelopedee_2 Posts: 2,698 Forumite
    We had a strange kind of 'how poor are you' type of discussion at work this week. I thought Dh and I were doing ok getting by on one wage, trying to steer away from cc's etc. I certainly had my eyes opened by some of the others. Cc debt everywhere and nobody worrying about it, taking out loans to buy non-essentials, mortgages big enough to make your eyes water - but no real need to have them (ie no children so only need one bedroom etc).

    I'm not trying to be smug - we've made our mistakes financially over the years and are paying back everything we can quicker than most would bother. But is it me, are people not realising we are in a recession and watching the news. I hate the media and their brain washing, but the fact that food essentials have gone up so much over the last couple of years is quite hard to ignore.

    Sorry for the rant. I am so glad of everyone on here talking a bit of sense for a change. The minute I can start overpaying on the mortgage will be like a dream for me!
    This time I haven't smoked since 6th Jan 2014 and still going ok.
    Fingers crossed x
  • Larumbelle
    Larumbelle Posts: 2,140 Forumite
    Smileyt, I was in the same circumstances. I ended up treading water, doing Avon as self-employed while I applied to any and every job. I suppose it's like kissing a lot of frogs before finding a prince; eventually I found an employer that was prepared to take me on, look past the negative stuff and give me a chance. And what can I say, for some reason they think I'm great :D and I love it there, not just the job itself but the whole culture. So I'm sure you will one day too, it's crappy while you're kissing the frogs but you'll get there, I'm sure! :grouphug:

    Welcome Gailey :hello: I dunno if it would work for you, but I start getting ready for Christmas in the January sales! I have a Christmas cupboard, pick bits up here and there, really find it's doable and it's a real help come December. I've bought cards, crackers et all for pennies post-Xmas, got most of my presents already from the Grabbit board (like £40 Mr Men scooters for £4 each, etc). I have a building society account that all of my cashback goes into, I don't touch this until December, this buys food, treats etc. But you know, I don't go over the top, because Christmas Day really is only one day out of the year. If I couldn't afford to pick the bits up or save the cashback I wouldn't. And I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty about it either!
  • gailey_2
    gailey_2 Posts: 2,329
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    It is good everyone thinks same. when I see people spend I wonder how they manage it as some people better off than us on benefits even.

    We have debts but sadly didnent treat ourselves was for essentials car of doom, washing machine packing up, then drier packing up, hubby breaking kettle never any money spare if things go wrong, been caught by bankcharges which is just perpetual cycle, bills keep going up so does food but wages worse off.

    I sometimes feel very lonley like no one I know understands as everyone at school gates and in my family say everythings fine.
    My mum needs to cut back more definatly.
    some mates think im odd cooking from scratch, foraging and carboots ect.

    im trying to ensure girls not feel worse off they still look nice in 2nd hand clothes, we go on cheap or free days out, they have plenty of fresh fruit and veg ect and at xmas/birthdays despite few 2nd hand pressies they dont feel worse off than mates.
    What really bugs is hubbys ex he pays child maintaince for 12year old son but shes always asking more money despite being better off her and hubby both got blackberries (fone), go on hols 2-3times year once abroad, all gadgets ect.
    In all fairness they both work low paid job so boosted by tax credits and live in council house so low rent.
    We spend more on son then our girls as he gets monthly money, extra for uniform, xmas, birthdays plus one weekend a month we have him we always have to pick him up so got petrol cost plus he gets bored days out and eats lots.
    He moans our house is boring and he we poor as not got everything hes got at home and turns his nose up at homecooked meals as has mainly readymeals, takeaways and snacks at home.

    maybe lots of people keeping up pretence but if interest rates rise more will feel the squeeze.

    credits much harder to get these days.if you can its very high apr.
    base rate bank of englad has very little difference in terms of how much we pay for overdrafts or credit cards or some morgages even.

    according to grazia this week in quarter life cris turn 30tommorow and bit down.
    Its to do with high expectations as teen that will aquire everything that parents did.
    so work hard go to uni, acruue debt, dont get well paid job, accrue more debt, married started family but cant afford a car for me or to buy a house.until we clear current debts and save 25deposit seems impossible round her thats 50grand saved.
    Dont have any private pension either.
    luckily we have healtcare through hubby work.
    dont have life cover which feel bad about
    zero savings as trying to clear debts and balance each month.

    would like to go back to college and retrain into teaching /socal work but cant afford it.
    Looked at college prospectus gcses about 350 as would need to resit matchs for teaching. sisters doing alevels this year in order to retrain and its 700quid 66 if unemployed so huge gap for people in work to better their education.
    Uni fees even more dont think I ever will clear student loan from 1st degree as have to earn over 15grand to pay, do worry who they might sell it off to though.
    Online learning and ou seems expensive too, shane clubcard stopping ou vouchers but we dont shop at tesco much find it pricey.
    pad by xmas2010 £14,636.65/£20,000::beer:
    Pay off as much as I can 2011 £15008.02/£15,000:j

    new grocery challenge £200/£250 feb

    KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON:D,Onwards and upward2013:)
  • katholicos
    katholicos Posts: 2,658 Forumite
    This post hasn't really got anything OS about it, ut i just want to echo other peoples comments about the camaraderie here. A couple of nights ago i had a car crash, the car spun out of cpontrol and i ended up ON a very busy roundabout. My car ended up wedged on the roundabout and sticking out at an angle preventing traffic moving...i was ibn total shockbut eventually managed to reverse the car off the roundabout, but do you know what? Not one person (and there were many stationary vehicles) came out of their cars to see if i was okay, nobody even wound their windows down and said 'heyup love, are you okay?'. Nothing. It makes me wonder what kind of society we are turning into when people don't care about their fellow man, and it makes me sad. So yes, this OS forum is a little gem of a place and i really do appreciate it. It helps to restore my confidence ino teir being some truly, genuinely compassionate and self sacrificing and sensitive people in the world...even if i do have to engage with them via the internet!
    Grocery Challenge for October: £135/£200


    NSD Challenge: October 0/14
  • penelopedee_2
    penelopedee_2 Posts: 2,698 Forumite
    Hugs Kath, hope you and the car are ok now x
    This time I haven't smoked since 6th Jan 2014 and still going ok.
    Fingers crossed x
  • BigMummaF
    BigMummaF Posts: 4,281 Forumite
    lucielle wrote: »
    You peeps say such wise things that I would be worries I might make an a$$ of myself!!!!!
    L
    Everyone has something valid to say; not everyone may like it enough to agree with you, but you shouldn't let that stop you from saying it.
    ginnyknit wrote: »
    ....cheapo loo rolls seem to be slowly disappearing....Oh and I wore my new pith helmet - very smart look I found, got some admiring glances well people were actually bemused. :rotfl:
    Read somewhere about all paper products are expected to rocket in price as a poor harvest is creating a shortage. Seems everything has been effected by the weather in some shape or form :(
    And why do I suddenly want to sing 'Whispering Grass' *try looking for Don Estelle & Windsor Davies Top of the Pops :D*
    JackieO wrote: »
    ....At Christmas for presents for my older friends I do buy things that I know will help their budget out during the coming months .I make lots of my presents and do small baskets of 'treats' of nice soap,shampoo,ect or home baked cakes or shortbread.A nice box of chocolates are nice to receive but a nicer jar of jam or marmalade is better and lasts longer.So if you have any older friends this year try to perhaps buy something that they wouldn't normally buy,in the past I have bought a tin of salmon and some small tins of peaches or apricots for my friends and they are appreciated far more than a tin of Roses believe me.:D
    Me muvva is notoriously difficult to buy for :mad: so last crimbo The Offspring gave her a stash of the [more expensive] essentials she would normally have to buy for herself--batteries for her hearing aids, sugar free marmalade & sweeties & a few jars of coffee & some tea bags. A tad boring m'be but they also wrote on her card why they had done so, saying if she didn't have to pay out for these things she would have more money to buy what she wanted as opposed to needed. This week she got a couple of new tops & over a cuppa, said she finally understood what her gift meant...& could she have the 'same again please!' :p Guess I'm lucky that my lot are all grown, as for a few years now we've agreed to limit spending to £20pp with the option for two or more to club together for a bigger gift. I've actually suggested they give me money [a scorpio here!] this year so I can put it towards getting a new cooker before the vat goes up. I lurv practical :D & have enjoyed a water filter jug, bread maker, hoover, number plates to get me thru the MOT & the bits to service the car. My parents gave me an ironing board one year & a steamer another much to my [then] hubbs :eek: but I wouldn't have bought them for myself.

    The Offspring have been invited to a wedding reception & No2 wanted some clobber. I suggested looking in charity shops for accessories & things that can be thoroughly washed at home (I don't mind 2nd hand on most things, but would have to be in a real predicament to include underwear & shoes in that :o) "Not likely!" sez darling child, & I only just stopped mesen from biting back with "If only you knew where your designer-labelled prezzies came from" :shhh:
    Full time Carer for Mum; harassed mother of three;
    loving & loved by two 4-legged babies.

  • maryb
    maryb Posts: 4,658
    Name Dropper First Post Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Forumite
    Wow this thread is moving fast. I bookmarked it at 11.00 this morning before I went out and have just spent about an hour catching up.

    I have already reconciled myself to the fact I will be 64 before I get my pension but I can easily see that being rounded up to 65. I feel as if those of us born 1952 -1955 are the generation that tends to just miss out but we still get looked on as being selfish baby boomers. To be fair, we did go to university before tuition fees ( and I actually got a full maintenance grant because both my parents died when I was young). But we started work in the 1970s when inflation was roaring ahead but pay was being held down. We missed out on having bought houses before inflation started. We found that it was necessary to have two incomes to buy a family house and part time work was not an option in a lot of jobs.

    Now that we are getting to the end of our working lives the rewards keep getting pushed further out into the future. The first wave of baby boomers often retired with final salary pensions having often had the security of a job for life ( and not nearly as stressful as they got later either). Or if they had private pensions and/ or AVCs they retired when annuity rates were 8% to 10% - just think of it!

    We hit the 1990s recession when we were in our 40s and there was no age discrimination legislation. The ones in their 50s often got generous early retirement packages because pension schemes had surpluses - different world. We were the ones that experienced the change from secure jobs to hoping we would escape the regular redundancy rounds long enough to reach retirement

    Even then I thought it was impossible to pay for setting yourself up on starting work with car etc, buy a house, get married, educate your children, provide for your old age, look after your own parents etc if you could only count on 10 -15 years of reasonably secure earnings. I frankly think it will be almost impossible for our children and something will have to give. I suspect it will be house prices as a lot of our generation have banked on being able to sell their houses and downsize to supplement their pensions and they will all be trying to sell at once
    It doesn't matter if you are a glass half full or half empty sort of person. Keep it topped up! Cheers!
  • BigMummaF
    BigMummaF Posts: 4,281 Forumite
    katholicos wrote: »
    This post hasn't really got anything OS about it, ut i just want to echo other peoples comments about the camaraderie here. A couple of nights ago i had a car crash, the car spun out of cpontrol and i ended up ON a very busy roundabout. My car ended up wedged on the roundabout and sticking out at an angle preventing traffic moving...i was ibn total shockbut eventually managed to reverse the car off the roundabout, but do you know what? Not one person (and there were many stationary vehicles) came out of their cars to see if i was okay, nobody even wound their windows down and said 'heyup love, are you okay?'. Nothing. It makes me wonder what kind of society we are turning into when people don't care about their fellow man, and it makes me sad. So yes, this OS forum is a little gem of a place and i really do appreciate it. It helps to restore my confidence ino teir being some truly, genuinely compassionate and self sacrificing and sensitive people in the world...even if i do have to engage with them via the internet!
    That's an awful state of affairs Kath, but at least they were not honking at you & making obscene gestures too :mad: ..or were they? I loathe & detest driving now, as I'm afraid I stick to the speed limits because a/ I can't afford a ticket & b/ I actually think too many people drive with such an inconsideration for fellow road-users that travelling any faster than 30 is a major hazard in itself!

    ((HUGS)) & a stiff medicinal, providing you're not driving in a bit of course!
    Full time Carer for Mum; harassed mother of three;
    loving & loved by two 4-legged babies.

  • katholicos
    katholicos Posts: 2,658 Forumite
    BigMummaF wrote: »
    That's an awful state of affairs Kath, but at least they were not honking at you & making obscene gestures too :mad: ..or were they? I loathe & detest driving now, as I'm afraid I stick to the speed limits because a/ I can't afford a ticket & b/ I actually think too many people drive with such an inconsideration for fellow road-users that travelling any faster than 30 is a major hazard in itself!

    ((HUGS)) & a stiff medicinal, providing you're not driving in a bit of course!

    Bless you penelopedee and BigMummaF, i'm okay thanks. The car is a bit the worse for wear but it is still roadworthy, thankfully. I think my Guardian Angel was working overtime that night :A
    Grocery Challenge for October: £135/£200


    NSD Challenge: October 0/14
  • Souk08
    Souk08 Posts: 3,240 Forumite
    Hey all, great thread. Great to see so many people really trying hard to make it all work for them. I'm AMAZED at the number of people who shove it all on cards, despite having a decent salary. Not saying I haven't spent a bit in the past but am deffo older and wiser now. I have just found out this week that I have a new job and a payrise so am in a lucky position that way but it's only a years contract so wont rest on it and going to save a few hundred every month to act as a buffer in case I don't get more work. Will also slightly overpay loan and plan to stockpile big time in case another job takes a while to get. I rent in a nice area and prefer to rent on my own so will NEVER be able to afford to buy whilst renting here and having a life but I'm okay with that. I buy very few clothes and keep my food tight so that I can enjoy life with the rest of my cash, however much it is. For me, the odd meal and night out is a sanity saver and I stay OS so that I can have that!
    'The road to a friends house is never long'
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