December Debt Destruction!!!
Comments
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WantToBeSE wrote: »Thanks Triker, i'll make some pasties later
re the teen thing- its just been getting worse and worse, and nothing seems to make a difference! He switches from being my lovely little boy, to a monster with a monster attitude to boot, in seconds! He'll be 13 in January, and i've heard it only gets worse.
I love him to bits, but cant say that i like him very much at the moment
Maybe make it simple, ask him for a chat, just you and him, maybe out of the house, neutral, explain that you are worried that he's not happy and if there is anything you can do to help or if he's worried about things does he need someone to talk to. tell him you love him but as his mum you have a duty to be clear about boundaries and rules so he knows what is acceptable and what isn't.
Also explain gently that you are finding his attitude upsetting and you are gong to do something like three strikes then consequence if it continues.
Talk about something else, something fun.
Leave him to think about it, may take a week, ask him again if all is ok. Notice when he tries with you to be better, praise him when he says sorry or isn't rude.
Good luck, it's like herding cats. :whistle:DFW Nerd 267. DEBT FREE 11.06.08
Stick to It by R.B. Stanfield
It matters not if you try and fail, And fail, and try again; But it matters much if you try and fail, And fail to try again.0 -
Oh yeah, I'm currently not buying any reduced hampers so therefore I'm saving money by not spending any right?
DFW Nerd 267. DEBT FREE 11.06.08
Stick to It by R.B. Stanfield
It matters not if you try and fail, And fail, and try again; But it matters much if you try and fail, And fail to try again.0 -
Maybe make it simple, ask him for a chat, just you and him, maybe out of the house, neutral, explain that you are worried that he's not happy and if there is anything you can do to help or if he's worried about things does he need someone to talk to. tell him you love him but as his mum you have a duty to be clear about boundaries and rules so he knows what is acceptable and what isn't.
Also explain gently that you are finding his attitude upsetting and you are gong to do something like three strikes then consequence if it continues.
Talk about something else, something fun.
Leave him to think about it, may take a week, ask him again if all is ok. Notice when he tries with you to be better, praise him when he says sorry or isn't rude.
Good luck, it's like herding cats. :whistle:
Thanks for the suggestions Triker. I have already done the 'having a chat'thing with him, but at least you have confimed for me that i am doing the right things, thanks 0 -
WantToBeSE..... I sympathise. Having lived through it with DS1 I can only say he WILL grow out of it! The lovely boy you know is still under there and will surface eventually. In the meantime, I found clear boundaries and punishments were what kept him in check. Ultimate sanction in this house was disconnecting the wifi..... he could do homework downstairs on the family PC, but games/facebook etc etc were no longer available. That usually resulted in an attitude adjustment and stopped the excesses as he knew for an absolute certainty that I would always punish in that manner EVERY time
Take heart, mine has come out of it as a lovely, kind 19 year old who will do anything for anyone. The other one (16yrs) never bothered to strop. It could be his personality or just maybe he saw the consequences his brother endured and decided not to bother!0 -
aww, thanks the_cat, ii will hang on to those words over the next few years in the hope he'll come out of it as nice as yours has
kids, 'eh, why'd nobody warn you about the teen years when they were cute innocent babies?0 -
Hi all hope you are keeping warm. I am tucked up in bed with a glass of Baileys
Grocery shop for me today. Spent £52 and that included the Baileys (which I am probably not supposed to buy) and was in budget
Other spends today included hair cuts for me £32 and my son £5. We have both gone a lot shorter which we are getting used to! Also bought a colour for my hair which was £5. All planned spends. Will put the colour on next weekend in time for all the festivities.
Yesterday I slipped up and bought breakfast on my way into work. I had an oat cake with cheese, beans and mushrooms for about £1.30 so good value and soooo good! Also bought a mini quiche and a biscuit for M for about £2.00. These can all come off my grocery budget. That's £55.30 all together for this weekend.
Tomorrow should be a NSD hopefully...I was proud of myself shopping today, really thought about what I was buying.
Exercise today and Yesterday was doing Avon. On Thursday I Parker a bit further from work to cover it.
Still feel rough. Cold has turned into a cough and is really annoying. Worse first and last thing though and a bit better in between. Hoping it ill be better tomorrow as I want to go and see my mum and daren't go full of cold. If someone there caught it it might finish them off! Hope she is ok. Sometimes she notices if I don't visit for a few days but mostly not as she has little concept of time bless her.
Going to see if I can find something to watch on the iplayer 'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'0 -
Had a spend day today as we needed groceries and new under wear for the wee man who is having a growth spurt. I'll do my numbers etc probably on Monday when I'll go through my receipts etc.
Have a good weekend and I'll catch up on Monday properly
TL xDEBT 09/23: CC 6347 5120, Other 1763 NSDs 0/20 Planned debt free date: Dec 20240 -
NinjaSavingKat wrote: »Suzitiger hello to you!! Please lurk.. It's too late in the stakes to join now and only pitch 10 NSD's.. Sorry baby cakes your debts and overall changes are more important that NSD board prizes.. I NEED 20 minimum from you or the attempt at least...
Awwwwww OK, no problem, I will still be going for as many NSDs as I can. And gosh, yes totally right that my debt is more important than virtual prizes
but I am planning to increase NSD targets to as close to 20 as possible.:D But happy to lurk and cheer you on this month and let you know of any achievements! Changes are happening, I went into the city today as my parents are visiting, Mum wanted to go Xmas shopping! :eek: But mine is all done so I didn't spend a single PENNY! I can't believe I spent 5hrs in the city centre and didn't buy anything, gotta be a first. I wasn't even that bothered, I enjoyed the window shop! My parents didn't go too mad either, PHEW! :money: Don't turn a slip up into a give up
*NSD Challenge Nov 0/10* *£10 a day challenge Nov £0/£300*
No buying unnecessary toiletries challenge-in it for the long haul
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Suzitiger - I'm only cheering on this month - I did see the challenge at the beginning of December but was a little too late to join. I did wonder whether it was a good idea to have a challenge like this coming up to Christmas but having read everyones posts on here I can see why it is sooooo important to keep track of spending ESPECIALLY coming up to Christmas IYSWIM.Awwwwww OK, no problem, I will still be going for as many NSDs as I can. And gosh, yes totally right that my debt is more important than virtual prizes but I am planning to increase NSD targets to as close to 20 as possible.:D But happy to lurk and cheer you on this month and let you know of any achievements! :money:
I have paid off around 80% of my debt but this last few weeks feels like it's really slowed down. I have made loads of cuts/savings but this last £1kish seems to be refusing to go!!
Drastic action is required so I will be joining this challenge in January to nail the last bit of debt with some NSK inspired extreme debt busting!! See you there??February 2021 GC £301.45 / £300.00
March 2021 GC £266.41 / £280.00
April 2021 GC £53.19 / £300.000 -
ooooh, i am so cross, i had written a huge post and then it got deleated as i hit 'back'...grrr!!
Anyway, it basically said how nice it is to have cheerleeaders such as mumsiemum and suzitiger (and the others), so thanks for the cheerleeding, and you'll have to see what you think of Januarys challenge
Should be another NSD today, taking it to #7
Thanks to NOvember and DDD so far, i have finally managed to start a small (read- TINY) savings pot. As the months go on, i am hoping it'll get bigger once i find a job (PLEASE SANTA I WANT A JOB!) and then i will be able to start saving properly!
Abundant- hope the move is going well!
PurpleJay- i am very jealous of the Baileys. Its my most favourite drink in the whole wide world..mmmm
Sending hugs to all the people with the DDD flu...seriously, be kind to yourselves and get as much rest as possible.0
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