Spouse unhappy with bequest to my sister

24

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  • Malthusian
    Malthusian Posts: 10,857
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    I would ask the loved one if they wanted it before imposing it on them.

    If I thought they were the type to turn down a life-changing sum of money because they were more concerned about the effect on their benefits than the opportunities it afforded them, I wouldn't even consider offering.
  • leespot
    leespot Posts: 554 Forumite
    £40,000 is a lot of money, do you know that your sister would make good use of it, or likely to blow it, or are you not bothered either way?

    Fully understand your decision to leave your sister something to help but what if a sudden gift of that amount of money had the opposite effect? Where she is living is her choice - but she will be in exactly the same position once the money has gone.
  • Ganga
    Ganga Posts: 4,069
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    Rotan wrote: »
    Hi,
    Am terminally ill with cancer and have about 6 months.
    Busy putting affairs in order. Am married with no children.
    House worth £520,000 with 40k mortgage.
    My pensions worth £420,000.
    Wife has £200k pension and earns £48k per annum.
    I am 54 wife is 49.
    I have a sister who earns £6K per annum,
    and is single. Owns mortgage free flat and lives from hand to mouth.

    Wanting to do the right thing by everyone I decided to leave everything to my wife except: 40k bequest to sister amd 3k to a charity close to my heart.
    Wife's gone ballistic and said sister shouldn
    't get anything and money should go to her (she gets on fine with sister)
    Shocked me to tell you the truth.
    Would welcome your impartial comments
    Thanks

    First of all sorry to hear of your illness,can you not claim your pension pot as a whole tax free due to your illness?
    that way you could pay off the morgage,leave your sister and the chosen charity the money and leave £297,000 for your wife.She then ends up with a morgage free property and a lot of cash as well as her own pension and well paid job.
    I am sure it is fear/grief that is making think this way but if you wish to go ahead with your plans,and i agree it is a good thing to do,tell your wife it is your choice and she will have to live with it.
    ITS NOT EASY TO GET EVERYTHING WRONG ,I HAVE TO WORK HARD TO DO IT!
  • TheGardener
    TheGardener Posts: 3,302
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    IAmWales wrote: »
    For me I wouldn't be giving money to someone who chooses to live in an unsustainable situation. I might be more inclined to support her in moving somewhere that she can earn a living wage. .

    Wow - that's harsh - and a bit sanctimonious. The economy in Greece is even more trashed than ours - maybe she doesn't want to leave an elderly relative? or doesn't want to move her child away from its family & community? You have no idea why she might need/want to be there.
    The OP is terminally ill and is trying to set their lives in order before they go and you are dishing out advice on how someone less fortunate should be living their lives? Not, I suspect, what the OP was after...
  • Rotan
    Rotan Posts: 6 Forumite
    Much appreciated.
    My sister has lived in Greece for 35 years.
    She is divorced. One grown up child and one at college.
    She works 50 hours per week at an airport and gets £630 per month.
    Greek unemployment is 25%
    Under 25 unemployment 50 %
  • leespot
    leespot Posts: 554 Forumite
    It is possible that your wife isn't really thinking very rationally at the moment, understandable given the circumstances. I can fully understand why you would want to help your sister, and I'm sure your wife will too at some point.

    At the end of the day, you've contributed towards the current financial situation, your wife is certainly not going to be left with anything to worry about financially, and you are not being unreasonable at all. Just a thought, but would your sister benefit more from the money as a lump sum, or an amount to be released each year to level out her income to a consistent amount for a number of years?
  • -taff
    -taff Posts: 14,401
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    It's your money, your choice.
    Shampoo? No thanks, I'll have real poo...
  • Yorkshireman99
    Yorkshireman99 Posts: 5,470 Forumite
    Rotan wrote: »
    Hi,
    Am terminally ill with cancer and have about 6 months.
    Busy putting affairs in order. Am married with no children.
    House worth £520,000 with 40k mortgage.
    My pensions worth £420,000.
    Wife has £200k pension and earns £48k per annum.
    I am 54 wife is 49.
    I have a sister who earns £6K per annum,
    and is single. Owns mortgage free flat and lives from hand to mouth.

    Wanting to do the right thing by everyone I decided to leave everything to my wife except: 40k bequest to sister amd 3k to a charity close to my heart.
    Wife's gone ballistic and said sister shouldn
    't get anything and money should go to her (she gets on fine with sister)
    Shocked me to tell you the truth.
    Would welcome your impartial comments
    Thanks
    You could also consider leaving a life interest in some of your assets and more to you sister.
  • Bogof_Babe
    Bogof_Babe Posts: 10,803 Forumite
    Is any of your accumulated wealth the result of an inheritance from you and your sister's parents? If so I think it would be fair to give a relatively modest proportion of it to your sister, especially in view of her circumstances.

    But perhaps it isn't worth falling out with your wife over, given the very sad situation you are both in. Ask your wife how much she would consider reasonable, and start discussions from there.
    :D I haven't bogged off yet, and I ain't no babe :D

  • Keep_pedalling
    Keep_pedalling Posts: 16,368
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    Do not give in to your wife. You are bequeathing a small potion of your wealth to your sister, and quite frankly your wife is being totally selfish.

    Personally, If possible, I would gift this to my sister now rather than leave it in your will, especially if your wife is your sole executor.
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