Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World

indiepanda wrote: »

How was the show? I really admire Ruby Wax - having suffered with mental health problems she goes off and studies to a high level, publishes books and goes out talking about it. If only my mum was inclined to take such a positive approach to trying to get over her mental ill health.

Ruby Wax show enjoyable. It is not a comedy show as such (although had some funny moments) but more of a book talk about the latest book Frazzled. Youngest had been listening to it on audio when walking to work and I (thought) I was reading it but unfortunately had bought the wrong book!:rotfl:So although she has been very open about her depression, the show was more about mindfulness and how to cope with everyday stresses. She also did a question and answer session at the end.
I suffered from depression for many years from teen years until my forties. I don't quite know/why but it just seemed to stop then and if I feel my self getting overwhelmed I have developed startegies to cope. Although the last 3 years coping with eldest and her problems have been extremely challenging I have got through without medication. I have been seeing a counsellor as I have no-one really to talk to about eldest (her father (my exH) doesn't cope with emotional stuff) and have found that useful but have said that my next session with her will be my last.
Anyway, shopping was also on the weekend agenda as I have been looking for some new perfume and the "perfect" lipstick. I have worn Estee Lauder's Pleasures scent for years and sort of want to try something new (and a bit cheaper) but despite trying loads haven't found one I like. The lipstick I want is proving to be elusive. I know what I want but can't seem to find the exact shade. I thought I had a few weeks ago and bought one but it smelt so weird (like children's play lipsticks - very sweet and sickly) that I couldn't wear it. So as much as was trying the colours at the weekend I was also smelling them all.

dreaming wrote: »

Ruby Wax show enjoyable. It is not a comedy show as such (although had some funny moments) but more of a book talk about the latest book Frazzled. Youngest had been listening to it on audio when walking to work and I (thought) I was reading it but unfortunately had bought the wrong book!:rotfl:So although she has been very open about her depression, the show was more about mindfulness and how to cope with everyday stresses. She also did a question and answer session at the end.
I suffered from depression for many years from teen years until my forties. I don't quite know/why but it just seemed to stop then and if I feel my self getting overwhelmed I have developed startegies to cope. Although the last 3 years coping with eldest and her problems have been extremely challenging I have got through without medication. I have been seeing a counsellor as I have no-one really to talk to about eldest (her father (my exH) doesn't cope with emotional stuff) and have found that useful but have said that my next session with her will be my last.
Anyway, shopping was also on the weekend agenda as I have been looking for some new perfume and the "perfect" lipstick. I have worn Estee Lauder's Pleasures scent for years and sort of want to try something new (and a bit cheaper) but despite trying loads haven't found one I like. The lipstick I want is proving to be elusive. I know what I want but can't seem to find the exact shade. I thought I had a few weeks ago and bought one but it smelt so weird (like children's play lipsticks - very sweet and sickly) that I couldn't wear it. So as much as was trying the colours at the weekend I was also smelling them all.

Glad to hear the show was enjoyable. Interesting to hear how you have recovered from your depression - did the recovery coincide with you getting a counsellor? My mum has suffered on and off for over 50 years and I've rather lost hope of her ever beating it now - think she didn't get talking therapy early enough. When she did I don't think the guy was much use at giving her strategies to cope so much as excuses as to why she was the way she was, which if anything I think made her worse as she then didn't expect to ever get over it. But mental health treatment is very much the Cinderella of the NHS, not enough funding or understanding and it was way worse when she was first ill in her mid 20s (she will be 80 this year).

I find it really hard to get lipsticks in shops that suit me - it seems like most of them have cool undertones and where you see warmer ones they tend to be a bit too bold - corals that scream for example. Most of mine end up coming from House of Colour as they have them made to suit all different seasons, but I did risk a couple in Boots yesterday as they had a 3 for 2 on Max Factor and I wanted a new mascara and theirs seem to be one of the better budget brands (I know not super cheap but I mean compared to the pricey beauty counter ones). Not actually checked in natural light if they suit me yet though! I got a couple of more pricey ones at the Smashbox counter earlier this year when I was going out after work and the make up bag I brought to work was missing a lipstick. Been pleased with those but it did take a lot of hunting to find the few warmer shades.

Perfume.... hmm, I am not the best person to ask about cheaper ones as I have a bit of a fondness for niche perfumes as I like to know that my friends aren't wearing the same thing - but they are not usually cheap. Although one of the few I repeat buy is super cheap which is Caldey Island Lavender. That's for home use only though, I spray it on in the evening to help me wind down. Boots have a lot of perfumes on discount at the moment (run up to Valentine's day) so would be a good time to go shopping in there and try some new things.

I have a super busy week ahead - out every night, yoga tonight, a seminar with a friend tomorrow night called "Be the Most Fabulous YOU", Ceroc on Wednesday (looking forward to putting what I learned at the workshop yesterday into practice), a work seminar on Thursday then going away Friday hiking in Swanage until Sunday. A few people I know from holidays overseas will be on that weekend so looking forward to catching up with them.

So with all that going on today is about getting all my hiking kit ready for the weekend (e.g. boots need a scrub after my last venture out on the Downs in the rain) and getting food prep done. Will be taking my trusty thermos to work with soup in the evenings as I won't be home to eat dinner any night. The plan I am following has you fasting for 12 hours a day, so I don't eat late in the evening now. Was down another 3lbs this week so quite encouraged by results so far and am sleeping way better - think that's down to the magnesium supplements the nutritionist recommended. Need to make more time for formal exercise this week but at least I've been more active what with Ceroc twice and dancing down the pub too.

Have a fab week all x

indiepanda wrote: »

Glad to hear the show was enjoyable. Interesting to hear how you have recovered from your depression - did the recovery coincide with you getting a counsellor? My mum has suffered on and off for over 50 years and I've rather lost hope of her ever beating it now - think she didn't get talking therapy early enough. When she did I don't think the guy was much use at giving her strategies to cope so much as excuses as to why she was the way she was, which if anything I think made her worse as she then didn't expect to ever get over it. But mental health treatment is very much the Cinderella of the NHS, not enough funding or understanding and it was way worse when she was first ill in her mid 20s (she will be 80 this year).

I find it really hard to get lipsticks in shops that suit me - it seems like most of them have cool undertones and where you see warmer ones they tend to be a bit too bold - corals that scream for example. Most of mine end up coming from House of Colour as they have them made to suit all different seasons, but I did risk a couple in Boots yesterday as they had a 3 for 2 on Max Factor and I wanted a new mascara and theirs seem to be one of the better budget brands (I know not super cheap but I mean compared to the pricey beauty counter ones). Not actually checked in natural light if they suit me yet though! I got a couple of more pricey ones at the Smashbox counter earlier this year when I was going out after work and the make up bag I brought to work was missing a lipstick. Been pleased with those but it did take a lot of hunting to find the few warmer shades.

Perfume.... hmm, I am not the best person to ask about cheaper ones as I have a bit of a fondness for niche perfumes as I like to know that my friends aren't wearing the same thing - but they are not usually cheap. Although one of the few I repeat buy is super cheap which is Caldey Island Lavender. That's for home use only though, I spray it on in the evening to help me wind down. Boots have a lot of perfumes on discount at the moment (run up to Valentine's day) so would be a good time to go shopping in there and try some new things.

Hi indiepanda. Not sure how things improved for me MH-wise. When I look back I first started showing signs when I was about 13. Back then (in the dark ages of the 60s) it wasn't talked about and I just covered up. After first child was born I was diagnosed with PND but apart from a super health visitor again it was just largely ignored by family. After 2nd child I was fine and for some time after but then it hit again and I had visits from a psychiatric nurse who linked it to my Mum having died when I was a child - apparently a common "cause". At the same time, after talking to my husband, she also suggested that it was he who was depressed and I was "taking on" his problems. After a few years I started studying psychology and sociology with the OU and found this again is a common occurrence. Men rarely admit to being depressed (or at least they didn't then) but their wives/partners can mirror their depression as it is more acceptable (IFYKWIM) for women to suffer. I think that is when I started to stop thinking of myself as depressed and got better. It sounds very simple but that is the gist of it. Things improved even more when my OH and I split up. I realised that I do have a tendency to take on responsibility for other people's problems and feel as if I have to fix things for them. I started to see a counsellor again because of eldest's problems (a mix of medical/mental health problems combined with long-term drug use). I had to do a lot of "fixing" at the beginning s she wasn't really capable, and there is very little NHS help available as she is not seen as a danger to herself or anyone else (I was actually told that by doctors) but realised that I had to start to back off for both of our sakes, so that is when I started to see a counsellor. It helps me offload things that would otherwise go round and round in my head but I feel now that it is time to move on. I know I have a tendency to be introspective and still feel responsible for everyone and everything at times but now I can recognise it and I have learned to give myself a bit of breathing space from people but I also know that I have to limit that withdrawal so I give myself a deadline and force myself out there again. Our minds are very complicated things and what works for me is knowledge of the condition as well as myself. It's not easy for those standing next to a sufferer and I wish you and your mum well.


Re lipsticks, I have decided to make do with what I have for now and look again in spring. Perfume - well I have a feeling I will end up with Pleasures again but I do still like it so no hardship.


Off to a craft club soon. It's just round the corner from where I live and I never knew it was there. I am teaching myself to knit socks.

I have a few Boots No 7 lipsticks. I needed a new foundation - went to the no 7 counter and they match your foundation with a little gadget against your face. They give you a card with all the lipsticks that go with that tone of skin.