Dear Diary

Poppy1984 · 3 March 2018 at 11:13AM

Hi just read your diary from start to finish. Wow well done you are making such a lot of progress!!!!
It must be difficult with hubby not on board. Did you close your next acc after you paid it off? Next is my lowest and I'm desperately trying to get it paid as quick as poss so I can close it. It takes so much longer to pay things off than to spend it doesn't it. It's like weight quick to put on long to lose!
Good luck on your journey you are doing great! X

MeenaM · 3 March 2018 at 1:08PM

debtfreeby2020 wrote: »

Woohooo! Well done on the payments. Are these overpayments or minimums? I hope you enjoyed the pizza.

over payments

MeenaM · 3 March 2018 at 1:11PM

Poppy1984 wrote: »

Hi just read your diary from start to finish. Wow well done you are making such a lot of progress!!!!
It must be difficult with hubby not on board. Did you close your next acc after you paid it off? Next is my lowest and I'm desperately trying to get it paid as quick as poss so I can close it. It takes so much longer to pay things off than to spend it doesn't it. It's like weight quick to put on long to lose!
Good luck on your journey you are doing great! X

I haven't used it( next card) since but not closed it so yes i need to do that pronto! I will do that today thanks for the reminder

and thanks for your kind words and reading ,

I have now got my "debt free " chart on the fridge door , serves as a reminder of what I have achieved so far and daughter had fun colouring it in too

enthusiasticsaver · 3 March 2018 at 1:38PM

You are doing really well on clearing the cards.

For anyone whose DH is not on board with clearing debt here is what worked for me and DH over the years. He got fed up with me pestering where he was spending money on and we had arguments about him using the food budget to pay for other bits and pieces in the supermarket for his hobbies or expensive magazines, beers etc. Constant source of friction.

We eventually decided on one joint account for us, three savings accounts and one joint credit card. Two individual bank accounts. At the beginning of the month we agreed on how much to leave in the current account to go towards bills, leave as buffer for annual bills, presents etc and we split the remaining money between emergency savings account, house and car savings account, holiday savings account. We upped pension payments for long term savings and I did a stocks and shares isa as my pension was smaller. We agreed a personal expenditure figure monthly according to income and the same amount went into each of our personal current accounts. I no longer felt the need to quiz him on what he did with his personal money so we both felt more relaxed about finances. We agreed only to use the credit card for food and fuel and it was paid off in full each month. If the bill was high the following month we got less personal money. It concentrated DHs mind on keeping the grocery spends lower as it impacted on his fun money so he was no longer so free and easy with the supermarket spends.

It is incredibly frustrating when you are the only one making sacrifices but you have to work within limitations. Luckily my DH was anti debt too so was not running up credit card bills but not having him dip constantly into the joint current account made me so much happier and he had his money which he could spend without me nagging him.

If you cannot get your DH onboard then separating finances and just concentrating on yours may be the way forward so long as you are not linked by a joint current account or mortgage, credit card or loan.

MeenaM · 3 March 2018 at 2:41PM

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

You are doing really well on clearing the cards.

For anyone whose DH is not on board with clearing debt here is what worked for me and DH over the years. He got fed up with me pestering where he was spending money on and we had arguments about him using the food budget to pay for other bits and pieces in the supermarket for his hobbies or expensive magazines, beers etc. Constant source of friction.

We eventually decided on one joint account for us, three savings accounts and one joint credit card. Two individual bank accounts. At the beginning of the month we agreed on how much to leave in the current account to go towards bills, leave as buffer for annual bills, presents etc and we split the remaining money between emergency savings account, house and car savings account, holiday savings account. We upped pension payments for long term savings and I did a stocks and shares isa as my pension was smaller. We agreed a personal expenditure figure monthly according to income and the same amount went into each of our personal current accounts. I no longer felt the need to quiz him on what he did with his personal money so we both felt more relaxed about finances. We agreed only to use the credit card for food and fuel and it was paid off in full each month. If the bill was high the following month we got less personal money. It concentrated DHs mind on keeping the grocery spends lower as it impacted on his fun money so he was no longer so free and easy with the supermarket spends.

It is incredibly frustrating when you are the only one making sacrifices but you have to work within limitations. Luckily my DH was anti debt too so was not running up credit card bills but not having him dip constantly into the joint current account made me so much happier and he had his money which he could spend without me nagging him.

If you cannot get your DH onboard then separating finances and just concentrating on yours may be the way forward so long as you are not linked by a joint current account or mortgage, credit card or loan.

thanks !

we have a joint account which we both put money into and out of that is paid the mortgage , council tax , joint life , water , heating, and appliance insurances. we then both have our own separate bank accounts, the problem has been with his separate bank account he has always been OD , the last time £4000 which when it all came to the light bulb moment for me, we moved it to an interest free credit card , that is the Virgin one i am paying down. Now we have only one CC in my name that we can potentially use,, the others i have his cards and he can't use. I have full access now to his bank account so i can see everything . I will try not to go on at him too much

our plan is to cut up all the CC and close them once paid off

enthusiasticsaver · 3 March 2018 at 4:09PM

MeenaM wrote: »

thanks !

the problem has been with his separate bank account he has always been OD , the last time £4000 which when it all came to the light bulb moment for me, we moved it to an interest free credit card , that is the Virgin one i am paying down. Now we have only one CC in my name that we can potentially use,, the others i have his cards and he can't use. I have full access now to his bank account so i can see everything . I will try not to go on at him too much

our plan is to cut up all the CC and close them once paid off

Is there a reason you took his overdraft on as your problem? I think I would be tempted to leave him to sort it out. I don't check my DHs bank account. As far as I know he does not go overdrawn although it gets low from time to time but I figure what I don't know doesn't hurt me and any charges, interest he pays have to come from his personal money. At some point if your DH is not on board you will need to leave him to deal with overdraft charges, bad credit ratings himself.

MeenaM · 3 March 2018 at 4:37PM

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Is there a reason you took his overdraft on as your problem? I think I would be tempted to leave him to sort it out. I don't check my DHs bank account. As far as I know he does not go overdrawn although it gets low from time to time but I figure what I don't know doesn't hurt me and any charges, interest he pays have to come from his personal money. At some point if your DH is not on board you will need to leave him to deal with overdraft charges, bad credit ratings himself.

I took it on as if I hadn't have done he would have been paying over draft charges for ever and a day and it would be less money for the family as a whole, being married i see us as one unit even though we have separate accounts plus a joint one , I also see his debt as my debt and visa versa , as we are married i see us as in it together , if that makes sense?

debtfreeby2020_3 · 3 March 2018 at 4:58PM

MeenaM wrote: »

over payments

That’s amazing hun. Great job. You will be out of the woods in no time!

enthusiasticsaver · 3 March 2018 at 5:26PM

MeenaM wrote: »

I took it on as if I hadn't have done he would have been paying over draft charges for ever and a day and it would be less money for the family as a whole, being married i see us as one unit even though we have separate accounts plus a joint one , I also see his debt as my debt and visa versa , as we are married i see us as in it together , if that makes sense?

It does to a degree so long as he sees it the same way. If he sabotages your efforts then no. Having also seen many people being left high and dry by taking on their partners debts and then the other half leaving them to deal with it there has to be a degree of give and take and responsibility on both sides I think. A partnership only works if both in it together. Not a comment on your marriage by the way just an observation of the pitfalls of only one of the partners being on board with debt clearing and budgeting. Only you will know if this is the case with your OH.

MeenaM · 4 March 2018 at 9:31AM

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

It does to a degree so long as he sees it the same way. If he sabotages your efforts then no. Having also seen many people being left high and dry by taking on their partners debts and then the other half leaving them to deal with it there has to be a degree of give and take and responsibility on both sides I think. A partnership only works if both in it together. Not a comment on your marriage by the way just an observation of the pitfalls of only one of the partners being on board with debt clearing and budgeting. Only you will know if this is the case with your OH.

I totally agree :T

Dear Diary

Comments

Categories

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free