I don't think it gets much worse than this. Feel totally beaten
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Well done. That sounds good enough for now. £1.5k per month over 3-4 years...she can do the sum.
I wish you the very best of luck.If you know you have enough, you're rich.
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£1500 per month looks totally doable on your income. I would be very wary about suspending pension payments for a whole year. You will miss out on employer contributions and on your income it looks like you can afford them. Also start emergency savings account. If you can stick to that plan, move as much as possible to 0% and don't use cards any more (except debit cards) then things should look very different in 3 years.I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.0
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Sounds like you've made good progress, but I still think you need to be honest about the total amount owed. "Tens of thousands" is a bit of an abstract amount, which doesn't really mean much, especially if you're having to cut back on a lifestyle which you thought you could afford (even "deserved"), to something a little less.....comfortable. And the next 3 years aren't necessarily going to be comfortable, so it's important for her to know why she's having to cut back.
"Fifty grand" sounds like a helluva lot, and indeed it is. But it's not insurmountable, and besides, once you've paid it off, how can she measure what an achievement that was, if she doesn't know how deep you were in it to begin with?0 -
ReadingTim wrote: »Sounds like you've made good progress, but I still think you need to be honest about the total amount owed. "Tens of thousands" is a bit of an abstract amount, which doesn't really mean much, especially if you're having to cut back on a lifestyle which you thought you could afford (even "deserved"), to something a little less.....comfortable. And the next 3 years aren't necessarily going to be comfortable, so it's important for her to know why she's having to cut back.
"Fifty grand" sounds like a helluva lot, and indeed it is. But it's not insurmountable, and besides, once you've paid it off, how can she measure what an achievement that was, if she doesn't know how deep you were in it to begin with?
You have hit the nail on the head with the 'deserved' comment. We definitely felt that we owed it to ourselves to have nice things because we worked hard!0 -
Sometimes you think I get paid a reasonable amount, I should be able to afford X, Y and Z so you go ahead and treat yourself. Unfortunately, that only works if you don't have existing debts in the region of tens of thousands ... been there, done that, got the t-shirt on credit
I'm hoping that when I'm clear of my current debts I might well be able to afford a few more luxuries, but I don't mind telling you that I've been at this since the end of 2013 and it is hard work and does feel pretty unrewarding at times. But hopefully, like me, you'll be happy to put up with the pain in the knowledge that you're doing the right thing for you and your family.174 BPM >> CC Balance (0%) -£3,565.99 - Target DFD Dec 2017 >> Loan (Car) (3.1%) -£19,803.74 - Target DFD Nov 20200 -
worriedDan wrote: »You have hit the nail on the head with the 'deserved' comment. We definitely felt that we owed it to ourselves to have nice things because we worked hard!
Sadly the people you "owe it to" now is the credit card company. Debt doesn't respect hard work. You can graft as long and hard as you like, but if more goes out than comes in, you have a problem.
"Because I'm worth it" has led many into misery and the next couple of years for you and her won't be a lot of fun. To stay strong through this, she needs to know the full story.0 -
ReadingTim wrote: »
"Fifty grand" sounds like a helluva lot, and indeed it is. But it's not insurmountable, and besides, once you've paid it off, how can she measure what an achievement that was, if she doesn't know how deep you were in it to begin with?
Ooh, good point, well made.If you know you have enough, you're rich.0 -
ReadingTim wrote: »Sadly the people you "owe it to" now is the credit card company. Debt doesn't respect hard work. You can graft as long and hard as you like, but if more goes out than comes in, you have a problem.
"Because I'm worth it" has led many into misery and the next couple of years for you and her won't be a lot of fun. To stay strong through this, she needs to know the full story.
Thanks for the post
I actually think that the next couple of years could be really positive for us though. The thoughts of being at least 20k less indebted by Feb 2018 is a real driving force. I don't see any reason why we can't sort out this mess and still have some 'very carefully budgeted for' fun!0 -
I know it might not seem so at the time Dan but this can be a positive experience. You'll both get a real value of worth through this. You must be a partnership though. Everything out in the open, it'll test your relationship but if you are strong, determined and bloody hard minded, then you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I wish you all the luck in the world but it shouldn't come down to luck. Take out less than you put in.
For richer for poorer...Savings as of April 2023 Savings account - £26460.50(14474.88)Current account - £2140.24(4576.79)Total - £28600.74(19051.67) £1010 (£65pm CS/BS) £250 CS/BS/JS0 -
worriedDan wrote: »Thanks for the post
I actually think that the next couple of years could be really positive for us though. The thoughts of being at least 20k less indebted by Feb 2018 is a real driving force. I don't see any reason why we can't sort out this mess and still have some 'very carefully budgeted for' fun!
I actually think the satisfaction of knowing you are living within your income and owe nothing to anyone is worth more than any overpriced electronic goods, flashy cars or exotic holidays. We do have nice holidays and newish cars now but all are budgeted and saved for so if you are looking forward to that and have shunned the mindset of we work hard so we are going to go out and spend regardless that is a positive step forward. Make sure you keep posting and record your journey. Nothing is more satisfying than seeing that debt figure reduce.
You can still have fun if you budget for it and you have a high disposable income so that will help. Living within your means is also a good life lesson to pass on to your kids. Just make sure you don't sacrifice your future income security for jam today though (I am talking about the pension now). Take the long view as short term thinking is often what gets people into debt and that includes not budgeting for your future.I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.0
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