Help to deal with a controlling Mother.

SigHI · 4 March 2017 at 5:10PM

What do I need to open a bank account?

Primrose · 4 March 2017 at 5:26PM

Opening a bank account may be a little problematical as you have to,produce Identity documents for yourself to prove you are not money laundering. These generally have to be utility bills to prove your address, which I suspect you won,t have if your mother pays all the domestic bills and documents such as a passport or driving licence or other documentation such as a HMRC or benefits statement to prove your oersonal identity which you probably also won!t have but your mother may have if she was receiving benefits on your behalf.

Banks are supposed to make special arrangements for vulnerable people who might not be able to fulfil their normal criteria and and I strongly suggest you get your new case worker onto this this quickly and enlist his/her help, especially if your mother is taking benefits which should be paid to you . Your friend may be able to contact a local bank for you to explain your situation and if necessary the manager,s help to get a new account set up. Don,t be fobbed off by counter staff who may not know their way through the alternative methods of getting an account set up without the normally required documentation.

It's good that you seem to be getting support from your friend and if you can stay there for the time being this will help you through this transition period.

Rosieandjim · 4 March 2017 at 5:27PM

If you have had a brain injury you could contact Headway for advice about what is happening to you. You are a vulnerable Adult and have rights to not be abused emotionally/financially/physically. can you stay with your friend until this is sorted out?

I have also found this

https://www.nyas.net/children-vulnerable-adults-services

Primrose · 4 March 2017 at 5:37PM

http://www.tsb.co.uk/current-accounts/faqs/identity/

Clicking on the link above will give you a general idea of the sort of documents most banks will ask for to set up a current account. As a vulnerable individual you will probably run into difficulties which is why you should enlist the help of your professional case worker. They may have encountered this problem before or can enquire within their organisation to find how the difficulties can be overcome.

Primrose · 4 March 2017 at 5:48PM

The other question your case worker will need to resolve is "Does your mother have a Power of Attorney " for you and is she currently using it? This is a legal,document which gives another personal the legal right to handle all the financial and wellbeing affairs of another vulnerable individual if they are deemed not to have sufficient mental capacity to look after their own affairs
If this is the case this document may well have been registered with the Court of Protection (which is a legal entity ) by your mother and in that case she will have a legal right to continue handling your money and benefits unless you can medically prove that you have sufficient mental capacity to look after them for yourself.

So you can see, it could all get quite complicated and you will need some professional help from your case worker and probably a solicitor to guide your through the processes.

elsien · 4 March 2017 at 5:54PM

Surely the OP would know if there is a power of attorney as they would have had to have agreed to sign it, and had it witnessed. Not something mum could do without OPs knowledge and agreement.
Or are you thinking of a deputyship, which is slightly different?

Primrose · 4 March 2017 at 6:03PM

If such a form was signed many years ago (our correspondent is 39 now) she may well be unaware of exactly what legal,processes were entered into many years ago so it's vitally important that she knows exactly what the situation is, especially if she wants to try and get it changed.

tiredmum2 · 5 March 2017 at 12:14AM

Do you have a social worker if not get one now there are obviously safeguarding issues they can help you and can get you to a place of safety any financial issues can be referred to the office of public guardians who are there to ensure you are not financially taken advantage of also you should ask for an advocate who is impartial and can help speak for you with housing and any other agencies you may need
Please seek help

ERICS_MUM · 5 March 2017 at 1:46AM

You might find that once you have some distance (physically and emotionally) between you and your Mum your memory might improve, and certainly your confidence will.

Good luck - sounds as if you are on the right track, you need a lot of courage to do this but you sound like you are up to the challenge !

EM. xx

SigHI · 6 March 2017 at 7:51AM

elsien wrote: »

Surely the OP would know if there is a power of attorney as they would have had to have agreed to sign it, and had it witnessed. Not something mum could do without OPs knowledge and agreement.
Or are you thinking of a deputyship, which is slightly different?

I was in hospital for a long time after the accident and then in Nuero rehab. My mum and dad did veverything as I couldn't walk or talk for a long time. I can't remember any of this or my dad dying .I know no one ever thought I'd get better.

My healthworker started talking about independent living a few years ago - it wasn't a overnight thing. I wanted to leave home mostly because my mum won't even let me try to do stuff alone, like go out of the house with other people. She stops talking to me and helping me for days at a time sometimes but likes to say that I don't co operate and or listen or that she's told me something when she hasn't.

She speaks to everyone for me even the Dr.

Help to deal with a controlling Mother.

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