My child is a thief
Comments
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In the "good old days" you could ask the local bobby to put the fear of God into a wayward child. Perhaps have a chat with a PCSO in your area and ask them to speak to him on an unofficial basis, he won't get a criminal record as a result, but if left unchecked his thieving might escalate to something which might lead to one.
Forget the ADHD excuse, if he's never been diagnosed as having it then his 'condition' can't be too bad that he doesn't know what he's doing is wrong.
Tell him he has to get a job. Stop molly-coddling him. He's old enough to get out of bed and work for his own money. Anybody who thinks that pocket money is a right is not doing their child any favours. If children are just handed cash for doing nothing how on earth will they ever learn the value of money?0 -
Thank you for the replies. I did give pocket money but they did nothing to earn it and do nothing to help out around the house so I begrudged paying out my wages to somebody who doesn't feel they have to work for it. I thought stopping pocket money would make them get a job but there is still no inclination.
I don't agree with the thought that pocket money will stop the stealing as they have been paid quite well for looking after siblings and still stolen.
I shall take them to the doctors for a diagnosis but from others I know in a similar position it is an almost impossible task. I will certainly try though.
I will keep money out of temptations way too but there are other siblings and their belongings have been known to go missing so will have to warn them.0 -
Do you know how difficult it is to get a diagnosis? I can take child to the doctors but it could take YEARS to get help, counselling or medication. I will try though.AylesburyDuck wrote: »So, your child has an undiagnosed problem that you cant be bothered to seek help for, that could benefit your child in many many ways with help, counseling and possible medication, YET you choose to focus on the problems this causes yourself and would rather kick your child out!
My god, i'm glad you wernt my mother, i actually feel sorry for your child, not you!
I'm not focussing on the problems it causes, merely explaining a possible reason why they steal.
I don't want to kick my child out but honestly I don't like the thought of having a thief in the house and it's devastating to know somebody, who knows there is little money to play with in the household, feels it's ok to take anything that's not tied down.
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We've had the chat from a police officer. I took them to the local station when they were much younger and they had stolen a large amount of cash. They were given the riot act and they cried and they still cry now whenever they are caught out. Unfortunately the behaviour hasn't changed.In the "good old days" you could ask the local bobby to put the fear of God into a wayward child. Perhaps have a chat with a PCSO in your area and ask them to speak to him on an unofficial basis, he won't get a criminal record as a result, but if left unchecked his thieving might escalate to something which might lead to one.
Forget the ADHD excuse, if he's never been diagnosed as having it then his 'condition' can't be too bad that he doesn't know what he's doing is wrong.
Tell him he has to get a job. Stop molly-coddling him. He's old enough to get out of bed and work for his own money. Anybody who thinks that pocket money is a right is not doing their child any favours. If children are just handed cash for doing nothing how on earth will they ever learn the value of money?0 -
As someone else posted get a safe. If you have large amounts of cash lying around the house and you know there have been issues before why not do that?
As for the times you got it wrong. Did the money turn up? Or was someone else stealing.
Sorry, but if they've been stealing on several occasions why would you leave money lying around where it could be taken? Why not get a safe.
You just want them out of Your house? Where are they going to go?
If there have been issues for years you could have looked for help sooner. For both of you.
I feel sorry for them as well. It can't be easy for you but you are wanting to kick out a 17 year old child and you are calling them a child, who you know has issues, how do you think they'll cope on their own.
Not working. No income. Won't be able to get a home. Where on earth do you think they are going to go?0 -
Hes not being given pocket money. He's babysitting his younger siblings.0
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Have you asked why your child thinks s/he needs money?0
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foolofbeans wrote: »Thank you for the replies. I did give pocket money but they did nothing to earn it and do nothing to help out around the house so I begrudged paying out my wages to somebody who doesn't feel they have to work for it. I thought stopping pocket money would make them get a job but there is still no inclination.
I don't agree with the thought that pocket money will stop the stealing as they have been paid quite well for looking after siblings and still stolen.
I shall take them to the doctors for a diagnosis but from others I know in a similar position it is an almost impossible task. I will certainly try though.
I will keep money out of temptations way too but there are other siblings and their belongings have been known to go missing so will have to warn them.
Make him get a job! He's 17 for goodness sake. What does he DO? Is he looking for work? Whatever the state of the economy, local problems, unemployment, there's is always something. Even if it's part-time at minimum wage there is always something he could do.
If he's 17, hanging around all day doing nothing, it won't be long before he gets into real trouble. Forget the ADHD. You are just looking for an excuse. He needs something productive to do with his time. Is he registered at the Job Centre? Is he scouring the local paper - available free at your local library - for a job?0 -
Yes actually, i do know.foolofbeans wrote: »Do you know how difficult it is to get a diagnosis? I can take child to the doctors but it could take YEARS to get help, counselling or medication. I will try though.
I'm not focussing on the problems it causes, merely explaining a possible reason why they steal.
I don't want to kick my child out but honestly I don't like the thought of having a thief in the house and it's devastating to know somebody, who knows there is little money to play with in the household, feels it's ok to take anything that's not tied down.
So the sooner you actually start to give a damn the sooner your child gets the help.,Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.0 -
How do you know it wasn't the other children that helped themselves?
Kids will have sticky fingers, I think you need to find out if it was definatley your 17 year old, perhaps the other kids have seen he/she helping themselves and copying ?0
This discussion has been closed.
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