Real-life MMD: My pregnant bridesmaid needs a new dress - who pays?

moneyistooshorttomention · 27 November 2013 at 5:56PM

I'd take the view personally that it was her responsibility to have told me BEFORE I bought the original dress for her that she was trying to get pregnant and it might be wise to postpone buying that dress just in case she succeeded in getting pregnant.

Her fault for not saying that pregnancy was a possibility before your wedding, hence she pays for the new dress.

She had two choices; either mention this to you in advance or leave off trying to get pregnant until after the wedding. She cant forget her responsibilities to you in this respect and then expect you to carry the can.

pukkamum · 27 November 2013 at 6:12PM

My best friend told me she was pregnant just as I showed her the dress I had bought her!
She immediately went and bought a bigger size, no big deal, and as for the people saying why would you want a pregnant bridesmaid how on earth does it impact your wedding, my feelings for my friend were the reason I asked her to be bridesmaid not because of how she may look.
I love showing her daughter my wedding pics, she loves knowing she was there albeit inutero, and my friend loves having some pics of her looking all dressed up whilst
pregnant.

clairbear1000 · 27 November 2013 at 6:45PM

Its a tough one, recently i had a friend getting married and she made it clear if anyone got pregnant they just wouldn't be a bridesmaid. Someone did fall pregnant and stuck to her word. I think dresses had been purchased, but they were last seasons (and none available) so her dress was used as additional material where needed on ours (It really was needed).
However, I think she should pay (as you have paid for one already), offer to have the original taken out or maybe participate in the wedding in another way (doing a reading etc).
Good luck!!

JayD · 27 November 2013 at 7:32PM

My maid of honour kept lying about her size to us - and would not let anyone measure her. When the 3rd dress arrived and still needed altering I said I can't keep doing this and she paid for them all plus the alteration.

I think once you have laid out for the cost of one dress, any others are down to the bridesmaid - if she still wants to be one. I accept her pregnancy is no one's 'fault' with regard to the wedding you had already planned - but I still think buying one dress is where your obligation ends.

Bubble_xxx · 27 November 2013 at 7:58PM

I should imagine her expectation that you'll just cough up again is more annoying than the actual situation? She may just be so excited with her own news that she hasn't given it a thought. In any case it is totally unreasonable of her to expect you to buy her 2 dresses, and as her feet swell she may need new shoes too. More importantly if you don't resolve it with her it will leave a bitter taste in your mouth that will mar your wedding. Good luck.

chrissiesh · 27 November 2013 at 8:04PM

I think it is wrong of her to expect you to pay for a new dress without a discussion first. As someone said before it reàlly depends on both your financial positions. When my bridesmaid got pregnant she offered to pay for her own dress as she understood my circumstances were tight, and when I was her bridesmaid had I got pregnant I would have absolutely done the same. You omly expect to pay for one dress for each bridesmaid and this is what you budget for. If money is tight for her too maybe you could pay half each? Hope this helps

florere · 27 November 2013 at 8:13PM

You have already bought her one dress you shouldn't have to buy another, what happens if the others put on weight over Christmas, could be very expensive for you. Can a heavily pregnant woman be a bridesmaid, Matron of Honour seems better and is a good excuse for her to wear a different dress, I don't know the style of the dress but just going a couple of sizes up might not solve the problem, go up two sizes and it won't fit across the shoulders etc.

keepingeverythingcrossed · 27 November 2013 at 9:19PM

It's your wedding, if you want her to be bridesmaid you should pay for her dress.
You may be able to get it altered though? A friend once had her bridesmaid dress taken out from the sides, as she had a matching shawl they could use for the fabric.

minicooper272 · 27 November 2013 at 9:32PM

It's a tough one. I'm assuming she is around 3 months pregnant, so will be 7 months by the wedding.

If she knew she was pregnant at the time, I think she should have said something (not that she was, but just that she was trying). But you might have just been too organised and bought the dresses too early. I don't think you can ask her to buy a new dress though, but if you can't return the one you already have, mention in conversation that you have to buy a new one, and she might offer something towards it.

Don't forget to ask her if she will need any special arrangements at the wedding (like sitting down once you reach the altar).

happyinflorida · 27 November 2013 at 9:51PM

Have you asked the place you bought all the bridesmaids dresses from if they'll exchange? That's the obvious answer.

Real-life MMD: My pregnant bridesmaid needs a new dress - who pays?

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