Wedding Invites & Gifts, the quagmire

24

Comments

  • DebrasSewingProject
    DebrasSewingProject Posts: 15 Forumite
    In this day and age there is absolutely nothing wrong in asking for money as a wedding gift! Let's face it many couples have co-habitated for some time and usually have all they need. What is wrong in suggesting money so that guest don't waste their money! From a guest point of view it's useful to know exactly where you stand and what to give! I've seen a lovely idea of giving cash which is to give it in a balloon which I thought was a nice touch. There is so many other ways to apply a little humour in asking an a little creativity in giving :)
  • gettingtheresometime
    gettingtheresometime Posts: 6,911 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post I've been Money Tipped!
    DebrasSewingProject wrote: »
    In this day and age there is absolutely nothing wrong in asking for money as a wedding gift! Let's face it many couples have co-habitated for some time and usually have all they need. What is wrong in suggesting money so that guest don't waste their money! From a guest point of view it's useful to know exactly where you stand and what to give! I've seen a lovely idea of giving cash which is to give it in a balloon which I thought was a nice touch. There is so many other ways to apply a little humour in asking an a little creativity in giving :)

    My attitude regarding asking for money to go towards the honeymoon is that it's plain rude.

    Nearly 30 yrs ago OH's family all chipped in & bought us our washing machine but we didn't ask for it nor expected it.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,681 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Savvy Shopper!
    DebrasSewingProject wrote: »
    In this day and age there is absolutely nothing wrong in asking for money as a wedding gift! Let's face it many couples have co-habitated for some time and usually have all they need. What is wrong in suggesting money so that guest don't waste their money! From a guest point of view it's useful to know exactly where you stand and what to give! I've seen a lovely idea of giving cash which is to give it in a balloon which I thought was a nice touch. There is so many other ways to apply a little humour in asking an a little creativity in giving :)
    But that is just your opinion.
    gettingtheresometime wrote: »
    My attitude regarding asking for money to go towards the honeymoon is that it's plain rude.

    Nearly 30 yrs ago OH's family all chipped in & bought us our washing machine but we didn't ask for it nor expected it.
    This ^^^^ is my opinion too.

    From a guest point of view, I don't want to be told what gift to give.
    If I ask, that's different.
  • bertiewhite
    bertiewhite Posts: 1,904 Forumite
    First Post
    Funny that in this country, it's deemed rude to ask for money in lieu of gifts yet in many countries, the giving of money to the happy couple in many guises forms part of the wedding celebration itself!!!
  • Nichelette
    Nichelette Posts: 2,090 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    There is no way OH and I can fit anything else in our little flat so 'traditional' gifts aren't really an option. I don't like those grovelling for cash poems at all, so I plan on saying there is no need for a gift as I know a lot of people will have travel and accommodation costs to attend.
    Finally bought a home
    Starting mortgage £289,500 31.01.19 - Current outstanding £207,243.66
    Overpayments since 27.03.19: £46,161.46
  • 7roland8
    7roland8 Posts: 3,601 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Nichelette wrote: »
    There is no way OH and I can fit anything else in our little flat so 'traditional' gifts aren't really an option. I don't like those grovelling for cash poems at all, so I plan on saying there is no need for a gift as I know a lot of people will have travel and accommodation costs to attend.


    That sounds perfect. I'm sure if people want to give money they will anyway - or just ask if they can. Much better than getting lots of toasters etc!


    But I'm with a few others - it may be 'done' in other countries but I still feel it objectionable if we are asked to contribute to someone's honeymoon.


    A gift is a gift - so long as you let people know you DON'T want material possessions it is up to them then to know they can give money fi they want - or not, as the case may be. At least you are not doing the 'begging'.
    Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day. -- Sally Koch
  • 74jax
    74jax Posts: 7,921 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    I wouldn't send anything with an invite, but that might just be me. I got married 3 years ago and we didn't need anything. A couple of people asked what we wanted and we suggested a donation to rnli, whether they did or didn't I have no idea.

    I had my 40th a few months after and didn't mention gifts then either so I think I just generally don't.

    I've been invited to weddings where I've just asked if there was anything they wanted. I would never turn up empty handed, but then if I was invited to a meal at a friends house I'm the one who would always take a bottle to that too.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • Owain_Moneysaver
    Owain_Moneysaver Posts: 11,357 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Sewsosew wrote: »
    This is silly but I'll tell the story anyway. A friend got a wedding invitation which said that donations towards the honeymoon would be appreciated so he gave a tent and two sleeping bags.

    Could have been worse.

    Could have been two tents.
    A kind word lasts a minute, a skelped erse is sair for a day.
  • chris_n_tj
    chris_n_tj Posts: 2,659 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    My Daughter put this on her invites.
    While presents are nice, all we would like is your presence. x
    RIP TJ. You my be gone, but never forgotten. Always in our hearts xxx
    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
    You are his life, his love, his leader.
    He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
    You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
  • Fuzzy_Duck
    Fuzzy_Duck Posts: 1,594 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Honestly I think the only classy thing to do in this situation is not mention gifts at all, and that's exactly what I did for my wedding. One of my bridesmaids did say at the time that it was madness and I'd get a load of toasters, but as we were inviting immediate family and close friends who know we've lived together for years, I thought it was extremely unlikely that anyone would think we needed a toaster. We did get some well thought out gifts (no toasters!) but most people gave us money. Chances are you'll get money anyway as it's easier for your guests to carry.
This discussion has been closed.
★ ★ ★ Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 608K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173.1K Life & Family
  • 247.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards