The "Pay ALL your debt off by Xmas 2012" challenge - PART 3!!!

mf0u1098 · 26 June 2012 at 12:34PM

I am such an idiot, I fell UP the stairs at work... I've grazed my arm (which stings!) and my back is sore as I must have twisted trying to stop myself from banging my head into the door! What a moron....

They had to call the first aider to put it in the accident book and he told me that I needed to take my "kit off" so he could do a thorough examination... cheeky monkey! Men! :rotfl:

psychopathbabble · 26 June 2012 at 12:44PM

hope you are ok jemma!

RANT:

I've had enough of my 'friends' now... they are all at the beach, and i commented on a fb status about it saying i'd come, they ignored my comment but replied to another comment so i've text one of them and said:

you guys all know i'm not doing much so it would be nice to be invited to do stuff sometimes, it's really upsetting to always see you girls doing stuff and never being asked. we are supposed to be friends but it really doesn't feel like it, i've hardly seen any of you since i've been off work.

It might be a bit much but I've had enough, it's been going on months now and it's stupid that it's upsetting me so much... I know they aren't real friends or I wouldn't have to say something so obvious but unfortunately they are the only friends round here really. Makes me feel like I don't want to go back to work, having to be fake and friendly with everyone. i suppose it wouldn't feel so bad if i'd been working all this time and not in my own company, but i think it would still hurt.

ETA: One of them lives an hour away in the wrong direction for the beach so it's not like they didn't plan it, and they practically pass where I live to get to the beach!

mf0u1098 · 26 June 2012 at 1:00PM

psychopathbabble wrote: »

hope you are ok jemma!

RANT:

I've had enough of my 'friends' now... they are all at the beach, and i commented on a fb status about it saying i'd come, they ignored my comment but replied to another comment so i've text one of them and said:

you guys all know i'm not doing much so it would be nice to be invited to do stuff sometimes, it's really upsetting to always see you girls doing stuff and never being asked. we are supposed to be friends but it really doesn't feel like it, i've hardly seen any of you since i've been off work.

It might be a bit much but I've had enough, it's been going on months now and it's stupid that it's upsetting me so much... I know they aren't real friends or I wouldn't have to say something so obvious but unfortunately they are the only friends round here really. Makes me feel like I don't want to go back to work, having to be fake and friendly with everyone. i suppose it wouldn't feel so bad if i'd been working all this time and not in my own company, but i think it would still hurt.

ETA: One of them lives an hour away in the wrong direction for the beach so it's not like they didn't plan it, and they practically pass where I live to get to the beach!

Firstly, I am glad and very proud of the message that you sent them. I think it's absolutely awful how they are treating you and please DO NOT think this is any reflection on you. You are a fab person and obviously very caring and generous to other people. They are fake and not worth thinking about hun. You may not have any other friends around your area YET but as you back into work then it should give you the extra funds to start doing things that you want to do. Is there a class that you'd like to do or running/biking? WI? Knitting/craft groups? Volunteering at an allotment? There are loads of things you can do hun that don't have to cost you much money. Personally I'd rather be in my own company than be made to feel how you're feeling from these so-called friends. I wish we all lived closer so we could hold DFBX12 meetings (obviously in a pub...!) xxx

lemonpopsicle · 26 June 2012 at 1:01PM

psychopathbabble wrote: »

hope you are ok jemma!

RANT:

I've had enough of my 'friends' now... they are all at the beach, and i commented on a fb status about it saying i'd come, they ignored my comment but replied to another comment so i've text one of them and said:

you guys all know i'm not doing much so it would be nice to be invited to do stuff sometimes, it's really upsetting to always see you girls doing stuff and never being asked. we are supposed to be friends but it really doesn't feel like it, i've hardly seen any of you since i've been off work.

It might be a bit much but I've had enough, it's been going on months now and it's stupid that it's upsetting me so much... I know they aren't real friends or I wouldn't have to say something so obvious but unfortunately they are the only friends round here really. Makes me feel like I don't want to go back to work, having to be fake and friendly with everyone. i suppose it wouldn't feel so bad if i'd been working all this time and not in my own company, but i think it would still hurt.

ETA: One of them lives an hour away in the wrong direction for the beach so it's not like they didn't plan it, and they practically pass where I live to get to the beach!

((hugs)) that's horrible, they're really not worth your effort.

Kerfuffle · 26 June 2012 at 1:06PM

Psychopathbabble - this seems to be an ongoing issue. I think the basic rule is, if your friends don't make you feel good about yourself, then ditch them as they're not true friends. A true friend would want to spend time with you without being reminded of your existence, a true friend would automatically include you in their life. A true friend wouldn't intentionally do anything that upsets you or makes you feel sad. If these people are doing any of these things then they're not true friends. There are enough people in the world to find someone who is worthy of your friendship, don't waste your time with people who are dismissive of you.

These 'friends' might just be work colleagues, in which case you've all been forced together. You haven't actively sought each other's friendship. Compartmenalise them as 'work colleagues' and keep them there, okay to get on with at work and no more. Then you all know where you stand.

I know, it's awful when you don't feel included in the group, I've been there got the t-shirt etc, and it doesn't matter how old you get, it's still playground politics, and it still hurts. <<Big Squeeezy Hug>> you need to move on from these people.:)

ETA: Personally, if this was me, and it has been in the past. I would get in there first and be the Dumper rather than then Dumpee. Make it your choice and your decision to get rid of them, cast them off before they have chance to cast you off.;)

psychopathbabble · 26 June 2012 at 1:09PM

Thanks guys.... although I'm now in the wrong for sending that message... apparently I just needed to text and invite myself as it was open to everyone. Which I did on the fb status!! I wasn't even sure it was them that was going with the person who put it on fb until they replied to the other comment.

Bl00dy facebook it does cause more trouble than good! I'm just not sure what else I was supposed to do.... although if they are friends then they would realise I sent the message because I'm upset and do something about it! I'm normally ok in my own company for a bit but it's been the best part of 7 months

I can join the local ladies circle as Mr S is in the round table, but not sure I want to. I guess I should though, just to get a life away from work.

Sorry for hijacking the thread!

psychopathbabble · 26 June 2012 at 1:11PM

Kerfuffle wrote: »

Psychopathbabble - this seems to be an ongoing issue. I think the basic rule is, if your friends don't make you feel good about yourself, then ditch them as they're not true friends....

Totally agree, it's just hard. I've also lived with 2 of them over the last couple of years so I did think we were actually friends. Obviously the last few months have shown different... I wouln't even care so much if I was busy doing stuff! It's just spending day after day doing nothing that gets to you.

ETA: I've now been told it doesn't help when I get like this.... !!!!!!!

Kerfuffle · 26 June 2012 at 1:15PM

psychopathbabble wrote: »

Thanks guys.... although I'm now in the wrong for sending that message... apparently I just needed to text and invite myself as it was open to everyone. Which I did on the fb status!! I wasn't even sure it was them that was going with the person who put it on fb until they replied to the other comment.

Bl00dy facebook it does cause more trouble than good! I'm just not sure what else I was supposed to do.... although if they are friends then they would realise I sent the message because I'm upset and do something about it! I'm normally ok in my own company for a bit but it's been the best part of 7 months

I can join the local ladies circle as Mr S is in the round table, but not sure I want to. I guess I should though, just to get a life away from work.

Sorry for hijacking the thread!

I kicked FB into touch, once again the playground politics was apparent. You can't beat a good ol' chinwag on the phone, or with a coffee/tea on the sofa. Beats all these social networking sites hands down.

mf0u1098 · 26 June 2012 at 1:15PM

psychopathbabble wrote: »

Thanks guys.... although I'm now in the wrong for sending that message... apparently I just needed to text and invite myself as it was open to everyone. Which I did on the fb status!! I wasn't even sure it was them that was going with the person who put it on fb until they replied to the other comment.

Bl00dy facebook it does cause more trouble than good! I'm just not sure what else I was supposed to do.... although if they are friends then they would realise I sent the message because I'm upset and do something about it! I'm normally ok in my own company for a bit but it's been the best part of 7 months

I can join the local ladies circle as Mr S is in the round table, but not sure I want to. I guess I should though, just to get a life away from work.

Sorry for hijacking the thread!

Typical! They upset you and then blame you for it!!! Right, give me their addresses and I'll go and sort them out!!! No-one is picking on my Psycho!!!

Don't ever worry that you're hijacking the thread, cos you aren't! We all have difficulties that we need to share, this is what this thread is about. It's about life and how people cope with different and sometimes difficult situations. I think Kerfuffle hit the nail on the head when she described it as playground tactics.

Why don't you just pop along to a ladies circle session and see what you think? if it's not for you then at least you've tried it. What about a salsa class or zumba for a bit of a laugh? It's a little daunting at first when joining somewhere when you know noone but trust me, it gets easier xxx

lemonpopsicle · 26 June 2012 at 1:16PM

ETA: I've now been told it doesn't help when I get like this.... !!!!!!!

Guilt

The "Pay ALL your debt off by Xmas 2012" challenge - PART 3!!!

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