Do You Trust Your Other Half?
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Brightonsbest_2
Posts: 319 Forumite
Hello
Before you jump on me, read, digest, think about it and then post.
About 90% of all adults have cheated, thought about it or tried and failed.
I recall listening to a woman on a radio station last year, she had just celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary - cut long story shower as follows: Her parents died, only child, got couple of hundred k's banked it - then soon after got a volunteer redundancy offer at age of 55 her husband told her to take it, banked cash. Had her wedding anniversary and husband told guests, "she is the best thing since sliced bread." The woman got an anonymous letter saying her husband having an affair with her best friend - she doubted it but then things did not look right the more she thought about it and asked her husband one night and too her surprise he admitted it. What hurt was it had been going on for 20 yrs. He promised he would end it, but left a couple of days later when she was visiting her sister. That really hurt after all she forgave him by deceit really hurt. Then a few days later she logged into her bak account and noted it was empty, then checked and another account, empty and she thought she was victim of crime - turned out her hubby took the money, all of it as in joint accounts and allowed single access - police could not do anything - so he took his money, the money wife worked for and got from parents house and volunteer redundancy.
I have read many times people saying that there "must be trust...I could never spy/check on my other half and if you don't trust them, then leave." Be honest with yourself, would you want to be deceived not just on a one off but for years or even forever? I thought not. I have sadly met several women, co-workers that ranted on about, "if i ever found out my other half was cheating I'd cut off their ... and throw them out." Sadly when they found out, and like most did not expect it, they fell apart and begged their other half to say as this is a common thing as one is usually not prepared.
Sadly, just as many women cheat these days as men as the mobile phone, texting/the internet can play a big role, EG old days a bit of a lol at work stayed at work and most men/women were too fearful to overstep the mark - but via texts they will try and if fail will say "just joking" but usually the other person goes along with it and it builds into real stuff. Sadly, many men wrongly assume the child is theirs but not the case.
Would you check your other half's mobile/etc? I would especially if they kept it close to their chest, using the mobile more often and get angry when you get near it and suddenly have new friends, overtime, work related matters, sports, taking more care of self and easily agitated and then happy when ret home - could be cheating?
WARNING SIGNS: Mobile close to chest always locked as well as lap top. Coming off the phone as soon as you walk in or turning over page on laptop - saying to you, "don't you treat me making you feel guilty." Ne so-called friends, out more different times working longer, etc, etc - more worryingly if they have a second mobile that they hide from you, or a so-called 'works mobile' that they did not have before.
MANY WILL SAY I HAVE A "TRUST PROBLEM" THE WORRYING FACT IS MOST WILL CHEAT, MOST WON'T GET FOUND OUT AND ALL OF THE TIME YOU ARE BEING DECEIVED.
CAUTION ADVISED: IF YOU LOOK, YOU FIND OUT SOMETHING YOU WISHED YOU NEVER FOUND OUT - IT IS YOUR CHOICE, BUT IF YOUR MARRIAGE ETC IS STRONG AND BEEN GOING ON FOR A LONG TIME AND NO UNUSUAL SIGNS OF NEW MEETINGS/WORK/FRIENDS/RET HOME LATE OUT LOT MORE, THEN THEY ARE POSSIBLY NOT CHEATING - BUT AGAIN YOUR CHOICE
NB: Almost 90% of women cheats never get found out - I have posted a link in one of my posts from a very respected media source.
NB - NOT EVERYONE IS A CHEAT BUT CLEARLY MANY ARE. YOUR CHOICE IF YOU WANT TO INVESTIGATE BUT BE WARNED YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND AND IF YOUR OH FINDS OUT YOU HAVE BEEN SPYING, MAY END UP IN TROUBLE - BEST WAY IS KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN AND LOOK OUT FOR CHANGES IN BEHAVIOUR/TIMES GOING OUT/DRESS SENSE, NEW SO-CALLED FRIENDS, USE OF MOBILES/ETC/TC - BUT BE WARNED, YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND[. THE CHOICE IS CLEARLY YOURS. [
FYI: More Men Than Women Cheat, But According To Media Sources, Women Are Less Likely To Get Found Out. :eek:
Before you jump on me, read, digest, think about it and then post.
About 90% of all adults have cheated, thought about it or tried and failed.
I recall listening to a woman on a radio station last year, she had just celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary - cut long story shower as follows: Her parents died, only child, got couple of hundred k's banked it - then soon after got a volunteer redundancy offer at age of 55 her husband told her to take it, banked cash. Had her wedding anniversary and husband told guests, "she is the best thing since sliced bread." The woman got an anonymous letter saying her husband having an affair with her best friend - she doubted it but then things did not look right the more she thought about it and asked her husband one night and too her surprise he admitted it. What hurt was it had been going on for 20 yrs. He promised he would end it, but left a couple of days later when she was visiting her sister. That really hurt after all she forgave him by deceit really hurt. Then a few days later she logged into her bak account and noted it was empty, then checked and another account, empty and she thought she was victim of crime - turned out her hubby took the money, all of it as in joint accounts and allowed single access - police could not do anything - so he took his money, the money wife worked for and got from parents house and volunteer redundancy.
I have read many times people saying that there "must be trust...I could never spy/check on my other half and if you don't trust them, then leave." Be honest with yourself, would you want to be deceived not just on a one off but for years or even forever? I thought not. I have sadly met several women, co-workers that ranted on about, "if i ever found out my other half was cheating I'd cut off their ... and throw them out." Sadly when they found out, and like most did not expect it, they fell apart and begged their other half to say as this is a common thing as one is usually not prepared.
Sadly, just as many women cheat these days as men as the mobile phone, texting/the internet can play a big role, EG old days a bit of a lol at work stayed at work and most men/women were too fearful to overstep the mark - but via texts they will try and if fail will say "just joking" but usually the other person goes along with it and it builds into real stuff. Sadly, many men wrongly assume the child is theirs but not the case.
Would you check your other half's mobile/etc? I would especially if they kept it close to their chest, using the mobile more often and get angry when you get near it and suddenly have new friends, overtime, work related matters, sports, taking more care of self and easily agitated and then happy when ret home - could be cheating?
WARNING SIGNS: Mobile close to chest always locked as well as lap top. Coming off the phone as soon as you walk in or turning over page on laptop - saying to you, "don't you treat me making you feel guilty." Ne so-called friends, out more different times working longer, etc, etc - more worryingly if they have a second mobile that they hide from you, or a so-called 'works mobile' that they did not have before.
MANY WILL SAY I HAVE A "TRUST PROBLEM" THE WORRYING FACT IS MOST WILL CHEAT, MOST WON'T GET FOUND OUT AND ALL OF THE TIME YOU ARE BEING DECEIVED.
CAUTION ADVISED: IF YOU LOOK, YOU FIND OUT SOMETHING YOU WISHED YOU NEVER FOUND OUT - IT IS YOUR CHOICE, BUT IF YOUR MARRIAGE ETC IS STRONG AND BEEN GOING ON FOR A LONG TIME AND NO UNUSUAL SIGNS OF NEW MEETINGS/WORK/FRIENDS/RET HOME LATE OUT LOT MORE, THEN THEY ARE POSSIBLY NOT CHEATING - BUT AGAIN YOUR CHOICE
NB: Almost 90% of women cheats never get found out - I have posted a link in one of my posts from a very respected media source.
NB - NOT EVERYONE IS A CHEAT BUT CLEARLY MANY ARE. YOUR CHOICE IF YOU WANT TO INVESTIGATE BUT BE WARNED YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND AND IF YOUR OH FINDS OUT YOU HAVE BEEN SPYING, MAY END UP IN TROUBLE - BEST WAY IS KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN AND LOOK OUT FOR CHANGES IN BEHAVIOUR/TIMES GOING OUT/DRESS SENSE, NEW SO-CALLED FRIENDS, USE OF MOBILES/ETC/TC - BUT BE WARNED, YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND[. THE CHOICE IS CLEARLY YOURS. [
FYI: More Men Than Women Cheat, But According To Media Sources, Women Are Less Likely To Get Found Out. :eek:
Would u check your OH's mobile/etc or remain ignorant 173 votes
Yes
32%
57 votes
No
67%
116 votes
0
Comments
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Think you may have a trust problem!0
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Thanks Ceredigion
Clearly, many can "trust" their other half too much. Ask anyone that has been cheated on and found out - they will say, "i trusted him/her"0 -
I trust my Lovely Cousin absolutely with my life and my heart. She trusts me exactly the same.
I have had the opportunity to cheat when I've been working away, and even been hit on a few times by both sexes, but have never been the slightest bit interested. I always told her of any incidents when this has happened because we have no secrets, except when I try to hide presents from her.I married my cousin. I had to...I don't have a sister.
All my screwdrivers are cordless."You're Safety Is My Primary Concern Dear" - Laks0 -
Thanks Fruitcake
"we have no secrets," Sadly, almost all partnerships will state that but the facts in most relationships are very different.
Credit to you being honest but in life one can only guarantee what they do/say but not on the behalf of anyone else.
I wish you the best.0 -
I infer from your post that you are currently in the midst of such an issue yourself.0
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Dear Happy...
Sadly, I found out the hard way 15 yrs ago. I too trusted my OH implicitly, had doubts as OH lost weight, dressed better, always texting and mobile close, i checked and challenged, denied, I did my Colombo work and challenged, still denial until I gae proof from texts/etc and OH wanted to leave, I begged other half to stay, stayed and carried on cheating and left - thank the lord for that. New OH, I check nw about once every few months, initially it was more frequent.
I found out 3 years after the event - the other person was also married and left but it went back to its OH and my ex tried to come back but I found it easy to say f off as I had a new OH
Trust me friends, a deceiver will lie, lie and LIE0 -
dear amstupi- i trusted my OH just like you did and look where it go me - never bury your head in the sand.
Most men I know have cheated are cheating as ell as women0 -
Yes because of his disability he struggles to speak to anyone he doesn't know. His psychosis means that he behaves oddly and so most people keep away from him. I do check his phone but he asks me to do so if he gets a text message- the only people who have his number are me and his brother so most of the time I just delete the message as it's junk or if it's a message from his brother he asks me to read it to him and then he asks me to reply accordingly. I do keep my mobile close to me and yes it's got a pass code on it but my mobile is always close to me and OH knows why (medical reasons) I've joined a gym and Slimming World but not because I'm cheating- it's because he was in the room when the doctor told me to!
Seriously OP- I think you have a problem.*The RK and FF fan club* #Family*Don’t Be Bitter- Glitter!* #LotsOfLove ‘Darling you’re my blood, you have my heartbeat’ Dad 20.02.200 -
Thank you Mrs Ryan
"I think you have a problem." I do and I don't want to be deceived again. My ex the cheat, swore on my life it would never cheat and even when it was cheating, swore on my and parents and nephews lives but WAS cheating.
The excuses re texts when I found them, "a friend used my phone and its my friends sons number that works at my place."
A couple of times I phoned her work place and they could not get hold of her as on factory floor thought nothing of it, actual fact was out for a few hours for a good service I found out later.
a lying, three faced chet wil lie and LIE and even swear to God that it is not cheating and will device you forever if they can get away with it unless they plan to leave you.
Most cheats do cheat again and this is why the majority of cheats relationships break down as they will think about how their new partner cheated on the one before and make them suspicious. Most men go back to their wife/partner especially if they have children
I rather check than be deceived0
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