The joy and the agony - a tribute to my cat

I've made the agonising decision to have my 17 yr old Fido cat euthanised tomorrow. She lives up north with my parents and over the weekend she developed sudden onset blindness. Parents took her to the vet yesterday morning and she thinks it's due to heart disease. She detected a grade 1 heart murmur 2 years ago when Fido was 15 and now that's progressed and we think caused hypertension which has lead to the sudden blindness. We could give her meds for the heart disease and let her adapt to her sight loss, but realistically she might only have another few weeks or months at best and I thought no, why should she have to cope with this? It's not fair on her. Yesterday she got her tail trapped in the door as she didn't see it closing. I can't let her go through stuff like that.

What has struck me is the huge weight of responsibility I feel in making the decision to end my pet's life. I worked in practice for 14 years and counselled numerous pet owners in a similar position in that time. But it's hard to apply the same advice to yourself! I almost let me talk myself into keeping her going til Xmas then I could go back home and say goodbye to her, but no, that would be appallingly selfish. That little cat has brought us so much joy and love.

We got her when she was 4 months old from a rescue. I was in the midst of a deep depression and having her gave me something to focus on. She saved my life. We were devoted to each other. She brought out a never-seen-before soppy side in my Dad! We have so many happy memories and the comfort that she had a long and fulfilled life, climbing trees, hunting, exploring, she even had a friend cat who used to come and call for her! She was never ill, always happy and loved and loving.

I won't be there at the end, but my parents will both be and I'm fortunate in that the vet is a close friend who I trust implicitly so I know they will all do the best for her. Little Fido, you really are the most amazing cat.

Comments

  • Artytarty
    Artytarty Posts: 2,642
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    Thinking of you and your darling pet today.x
    Norn Iron Club member 473
  • Petstalk
    Petstalk Posts: 202
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    My thoughts with you. That weight of responsibility is enormous.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,578
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    My thoughts are with you too.
    It's a decision I've had to make with 4 of my cats.

    Letting go when 'it's time' is the kindest thing you can do for your pet, but also the hardest decision for you.
  • Robin9
    Robin9 Posts: 12,055
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    I collected my Tasha's ashes this week. I resisted the vet's advice for too long but eventually made that PTS decision.

    Now persuading my wife it's time to give a home to another rescue.

    Any thoughts about a companion for my 4 yo male, Bob ?
    Never pay on an estimated bill
  • maisie_cat
    maisie_cat Posts: 2,059
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    I feel for you, it's so hard to both make the right decision for them and to take the responsibility for ending the life of one you love so much.
    I had to have Maisie PTS 2 weeks ago, I so wanted to be persuaded that she could carry on and I felt so guilty. We buried her in the garden and she now has a memorial bush atop her grave.
  • May she rest in peace.
    Can't help but wonder when my cat leave me, will he miss me or not.
  • Murphybear
    Murphybear Posts: 7,256
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    May I Go Now?

    May I go now?
    Do you think the time is right?
    May I say goodbye to pain filled days
    and endless lonely nights?
    I've lived my life and done my best,
    an example tried to be.
    So can I take that step beyond
    and set my spirit free?

    I didn't want to go at first,
    I fought with all my might.
    But something seems to draw me now
    to a warm and loving light.
    I want to go
    I really do.
    It's difficult to stay.

    But I will try as best I can
    to live just one more day.
    To give you time to care for me
    and share your love and fears.
    I know you're sad and afraid,
    because I see your tears.

    I'll not be far,
    I promise that, and hope you'll always know
    that my spirit will be close to you
    wherever you may go.
    Thank you so for loving me.
    You know I love you too,
    that's why it's hard to say goodbye
    and end this life with you.

    So hold me now just one more time
    and let me hear you say,
    because you care so much for me,
    you'll let me go today.

    - Written for a beloved pet & friend, by Susan A. Jackson
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