Are we being unreasonable? Inheritance and houses
hygge123
Posts: 12 Forumite
Update to this posting:
As I have said previously (see below) my sister and I are joint executors of our father's will, with the proviso that our brother is kept fully informed at all times. Relationships have broken down between the sister, and myself and my brother, and yet we were all 3 due to meet with our joint solicitor and discuss arrangements for paying the IHT and sign the probate forms on Monday. She has now said she won't be attending, but will arrange to sign the forms elsewhere. I understand she is legally entitled to do this, but my question is, how am supposed to work with her if she is behaving like this? I've suggested mediation but she has pretty much refused it. There are big decisions to be made regarding the amount of tax to pay upfront, and whether to sell the house or not. (I posted a couple of weeks earlier about this, asking if was reasonable to expect us to wait 18 months before taking our share of the house so her daughter could finish her GCSEs and they could take over the house). Any suggestions of how to proceed?
I'm one of 3 siblings, and our dad passed away in April. My sister and I are joint executors. The will is such that one property is left to our brother, with the remaining house and assets to be divided 3 ways. The reason for this is that 2 of us have had help buying property, whilst my brother hasn't. The remaining house is worth about 975k
A few weeks after the death, my sister unexpectedly said she and her partner would like to take over the family home. They have now come up with the following proposal: they would sell one of their houses (they currently live half a mile apart, in separate houses). From the profits of the sale, they would pay off the remains of the inheritance tax and give me and my brother about 35k each. We would all then wait for my sister's child to finish their GCSEs in May 2019 and the other house would then be sold, and the balance given over to me and my brother.
We are not happy about having to wait so long, and would like the house to be put on the open market asap so we can move on with our lives too. We also have concerns about the price they propose to pay us with as the value of the house could increase over a nearly 2 year wait. And lastly we don't feel comfortable taking money from her partner as we barely know him. A lot can happen in two years, and he could ask for the money back.
Are we being unreasonable? It is almost impossible to talk to my sister, due to high emotions.
Any suggestions of where to go from here? Probate has not yet been granted, but we were due to sign the forms next week.
As I have said previously (see below) my sister and I are joint executors of our father's will, with the proviso that our brother is kept fully informed at all times. Relationships have broken down between the sister, and myself and my brother, and yet we were all 3 due to meet with our joint solicitor and discuss arrangements for paying the IHT and sign the probate forms on Monday. She has now said she won't be attending, but will arrange to sign the forms elsewhere. I understand she is legally entitled to do this, but my question is, how am supposed to work with her if she is behaving like this? I've suggested mediation but she has pretty much refused it. There are big decisions to be made regarding the amount of tax to pay upfront, and whether to sell the house or not. (I posted a couple of weeks earlier about this, asking if was reasonable to expect us to wait 18 months before taking our share of the house so her daughter could finish her GCSEs and they could take over the house). Any suggestions of how to proceed?
I'm one of 3 siblings, and our dad passed away in April. My sister and I are joint executors. The will is such that one property is left to our brother, with the remaining house and assets to be divided 3 ways. The reason for this is that 2 of us have had help buying property, whilst my brother hasn't. The remaining house is worth about 975k
A few weeks after the death, my sister unexpectedly said she and her partner would like to take over the family home. They have now come up with the following proposal: they would sell one of their houses (they currently live half a mile apart, in separate houses). From the profits of the sale, they would pay off the remains of the inheritance tax and give me and my brother about 35k each. We would all then wait for my sister's child to finish their GCSEs in May 2019 and the other house would then be sold, and the balance given over to me and my brother.
We are not happy about having to wait so long, and would like the house to be put on the open market asap so we can move on with our lives too. We also have concerns about the price they propose to pay us with as the value of the house could increase over a nearly 2 year wait. And lastly we don't feel comfortable taking money from her partner as we barely know him. A lot can happen in two years, and he could ask for the money back.
Are we being unreasonable? It is almost impossible to talk to my sister, due to high emotions.
Any suggestions of where to go from here? Probate has not yet been granted, but we were due to sign the forms next week.
0
Comments
-
No you are not being unreasonable, she has no right to delay your inheritance. Unfortunately as she is a joint executor this could get very messy.
The price she should have to pay you would be the market value at the date of sale not today's prices.0 -
I am reading this as 'she wants us to subsidise her property investment and hang around for her child to leave school'.
So, no, you are not being unreasonable. The inheritance is yours, claim it now. Otherwise it will become a very long-winded argument that will also split your family.0 -
It seems to not have occurred to your sister that possibly you might need your share of the house sale proceeds as soon as possible, and not have to wait 18 months or more for her selfish scheme to be achieved?
I suspect if the tables were turned that she would not agree if you were to make this proposal.
Don’t let her bully you into this, unless you can really wait to sort everything out. There are also many costs associated with maintaining a second property (empty?) for an indefinite period - will she be happy to pay those as she is asking for the delay?
However, I suspect this is a lovely fantasy scenario which she hasn’t really thought through properly, and needs to be shown is unreasonable - be strong! It might cause family conflict, but she is the one who is causing it.0 -
No, no and no again. The estate needs to be sorted as per the will. The property can be put up for sale and if anyone wants it they can buy it. Executors are forbidden from self dealing which this effectively is. Your sister needs to be told she has to act in the best interest of the estate and not her own interets. Do NOT allow her to bully you.I'm one of 3 siblings, and our dad passed away in April. My sister and I are joint executors. The will is such that one property is left to our brother, with the remaining house and assets to be divided 3 ways. The reason for this is that 2 of us have had help buying property, whilst my brother hasn't. The remaining house is worth about 975k
A few weeks after the death, my sister unexpectedly said she and her partner would like to take over the family home. They have now come up with the following proposal: they would sell one of their houses (they currently live half a mile apart, in separate houses). From the profits of the sale, they would pay off the remains of the inheritance tax and give me and my brother about 35k each. We would all then wait for my sister's child to finish their GCSEs in May 2019 and the other house would then be sold, and the balance given over to me and my brother.
We are not happy about having to wait so long, and would like the house to be put on the open market asap so we can move on with our lives too. We also have concerns about the price they propose to pay us with as the value of the house could increase over a nearly 2 year wait. And lastly we don't feel comfortable taking money from her partner as we barely know him. A lot can happen in two years, and he could ask for the money back.
Are we being unreasonable? It is almost impossible to talk to my sister, due to high emotions.
Any suggestions of where to go from here? Probate has not yet been granted, but we were due to sign the forms next week.0 -
It can also take a while for a house to sell. If it's still available when your sister has the funds then she can pay the going price for it then....0
-
Tell her due to self dealing rules she will have to step down as executor if she wants to buy the place.
(not strictly true but worth a go)
if she wants to buy the house off the estate and keep living in one of the other ones as a main residence then there will be the extra 3% stamp duty.
they need to come up with 2/3rd of the value do they have that much equity in the two houses, if not and they need a mortgage that can complicate further.
One thing you MUST not do as assent the house to the three of you once that happens it will get even harder to sort out.
Best to have them buy off the estate and take 100% responsibility.0 -
Yours is another case of where family ties are being used to coerce. I'm sorry but from my own experience, I can say that once money comes into the equation, those ties get used to bully and blackmail.0
-
follow what it says in the will
thats the duty of all executors0 -
It seems perfectly reasonable to want to finalise the sale of the inherited house soon. Is there any reason your sister couldn't sell both her properties now and hire a place near the GCSE school?But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,Had the whole of their cash in his care.
Lewis Carroll0 -
What your sister (or anyone else) wants to do with their lives is up to them. You are an executor, first and foremost. I wish I had headed this advice when I allowed my previously wonderful Brother to take advantage of my generosity. I am now battling to get my 50% share of an inherited house; it is costly not just in money, and time, but also in stress.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
- 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 449.7K Spending & Discounts
- 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 608K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 173.1K Life & Family
- 247.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards