Is it possible to leave a message before you die?

beckysbobbles1 · 30 July 2013 at 2:52PM

First of all, I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you've lost someone and this has made you think of death.

There are many ways to let your loved ones know how you feel long after you have passed away.

If this thought is consuming you, please consider going to a doctor as you maybe feeling down after this recent bereavement.

However, I don't think you need to arrange for a company to record a message for you. As others have said record one and make several copies of this.

If you have a will and it's stored at the bank/solicitors, you may be able to store a dvd with it.

I would also keep a copy with any paperwork people may go through and perhaps in a safe id you have it.

Bufger · 1 August 2013 at 10:10AM

I havent done it yet but i've planned what I want to do..

I'm getting a safe soon to keep personal documents and important items safe. More fire safe than theft safe. I have planned for some time to keep letters and a DVD recording in there should I pass away. I will include the location of the backup key in the will/supporting paperwork should my wife and I pass away at the same time.

I've only just started to think of this since we have a 2 and 1 year old and if I should pass away whilst they were young i'd want them to be able to keep a video of me.

The plan is to also have a letter/video that they open on key birthdays so at big stages of their lives i'm kind of with them. (ie 16th, 21st etc)

I know its morbid to plan like this but its a comfort I would want to give them.

dave_k · 20 July 2014 at 9:21AM

What you need is a legacy messaging program. If can google enduranote to find the website. They also have a facebook page.

This website allows you to create messages (video, email, and text) which you choose dates for their later delivery. It is not expensive either. I have over 70 emails that I have created for my kids and wife. I have them sent on birthdays, my anniversary, and a few other dates of significance. I also have made a video message for my daughter to be played on her wedding day. She is only 13 now, and hopefully I am around for her wedding day, but if I am not, I know that she will hear how much I love her and how special she has been to my life.

It is very easy to use. It has changed the way I look at my mortality, and also made me think about the way I am living my life.

Enduranote

Mojisola · 20 July 2014 at 11:30AM

dave_k wrote: »

I have over 70 emails that I have created for my kids and wife. I have them sent on birthdays, my anniversary, and a few other dates of significance.

This is the sort of thing people would have different views on.

I would absolutely hate it if I was still getting messages from a loved one years after their death - I would find it very upsetting.

growler834 · 20 July 2014 at 12:46PM

Please be careful about what you write in a message for your loved ones & where you put it to be found as it can sometimes cause more grief for the recipient.
My mum found out she had cancer &, instead of voicing her fears and emotions with my dad and/or her children she put pen to paper (on 2 different occasions) and then placed the letters in drawers thinking dad would find them. Two weeks later she was suddenly paralysed from the waist down due to spinal tumours & she couldn't move. She sadly died 6 weeks later. A few days after her death, whilst looking for photos to use at her funeral, dad found the first letter & was inconsolable - not just that mum couldn't talk to him about her fears and love for us all but that it made his raw grief even worse. He was just starting to come to terms with mum's death when a few days after the funeral he found another letter - again it was devastating to see his grief multiplied again. I fully believe that mum wrote the letters whilst feeling at her lowest &, had she had time to reflect she would, in time, have recovered them from their hiding places & destroyed them but her sudden paralysis stopped her from doing so. In her few lucid moments before her death she tried to tell me about 'some letters' but I didn't understand what she was saying at the time.
It's better, no matter how hard it seems, to tell your loved ones your fears, loves, emotions etc now - they can't help or reply to you once you are gone.

dave_k · 21 July 2014 at 7:19PM

That is so sad, I am sorry your dad had to experience that.

I think this message thread is about finding a way to share positive feelings and memories with your loved ones. I would hope that the majority of people who leave messages for their loved ones are doing so to comfort and provide support. The website I mentioned ( enduranote.com ) requires that the person who will receive the message must submit their contact information, so you would never have to receive messages from someone you didn't want to. Also, you can choose to not receive the messages if they are, or would be, too upsetting. My guess is that most would choose to receive them anyway, and the majority would be very positive an uplifting. Something you can go back to throughout your life to seek comfort and remember.

Is it possible to leave a message before you die?

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