Engagement ring - getting the most for your money.

Buzzybee90 · 22 May 2014 at 7:15AM

PenguinJim wrote: »

That's a horrible thing to say. I am quite sure that 90% of women are not that shallow!

If a person commits to another person, to promise to spend the rest of their lives together, to work together through life's challenges, and to grow old together, that's brilliant, and so wonderful and special. But then losing a month's salary on a rock that has been dug out of the ground and literally does nothing that a zirconia can't do is... well, whenever I read about the fact that this new "tradition" continues, I'm staggered. Might as well buy a square kilometer of land on Venus for her (hmmm... that gives me an idea for a marketing campaign!).

£2000 budget? How about £1990 to charity to feed some of the millions of poverty-stricken children or help war refugees, plus a receipt from the charity to prove that you're not so gullible as to be suckered in by an eighty-year-old diamond ad campaign, and a £10 band of metal for her finger (or spend a little more for a built-in compass and GPS tracker! Actually make it useful!).

The ring should be a symbol of love and commitment. Buying a diamond symbolises throwing money away (ask in the Savings & Investments subforum if you're not sure about that). If you are so impressed by shiny things, how about a nice reflective jacket?

Alternatively, instead of popping to a shop and picking up a diamond ring (which anyone with a credit card could do in a minute, and hardly makes you special), actually do something interesting about the ring, like the two of you designing and crafting a truly unique ring together? If you're going to be sheep, be AWESOME sheep! (Plus, you could use the equipment in future to make rings for other people and earn a bit of extra cash, and it will have paid for itself! What a fantastic MSE way to do it!)

You're clearly quite bias, how about if they're very well off and donate time and money to charity too? This site might not be representative (as it's money saving) but I have no doubt an awful lot of women would be hurt that he spent less than a couple of pints of milk and loaves of bread on something she's going to wear forever.

SavingPennies_2 · 22 May 2014 at 10:44AM

I'd be very dissapointed with a £10 ring - call me shallow if you like

topdaddy_2 · 22 May 2014 at 12:29PM

SavingPennies wrote: »

I'd be very dissapointed with a £10 ring - call me shallow if you like

9 times out of ten the question will recieve a no answer if asked with ten pound ring im sure!

j-josie · 22 May 2014 at 8:07PM

DH and I got engaged when we were very poor students and the ring cost about £75.
it seems to have done a good job - we are celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary next year:)

( though he did buy me a lovely eternity ring a few years ago which did cost considerably more than £75

)

PuzzledDave · 22 May 2014 at 9:33PM

(Full disclosure: I proposed to my (now) wife with a circa £250 ring in '02, approx 1/6 of my monthly take home pay)

I think the best advice anyone can give is: Find out what SHE wants.

Does she really want you to spend a sum of money large enough to be part of a deposit on your marital home ? My wife would have been furious if I spent that much. With a baby on the way, are you really sure this is the best place to drop £2k ? I mean, how is the nursery looking ? Got the cot, crib, pram, clothes, crap ton of other baby related stuff already ? Maybe you have bucket loads of spare money to burn and this suits your circumstance -- your post makes no mention either way.

Whatever the answer above... what colour jewelery does she like, not everyone likes white/silver/plat/gold ?

What colour stones does she like ?

Does she want a traditional ring or something perhaps a little more exotic (e.g. Celtic knotwork) ?

Also, think about the wedding ring, it's got to compliment or mirror the engagement ring.

If she does want you to waste such funds on the token, then another possible idea I've heard used is to buy a cheap ring and propose with it, then let her choose the ring that costs the small fortune. Since if you pick one she doesn't like for thousands of pounds...well am sure you can picture the awkwardness that causes for all concerned.

PenguinJim · 23 May 2014 at 3:53AM

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

You're clearly quite bias[ed]...

Isn't everyone here biased towards not wasting money? Or have I misinterpreted the point of the website?

I'm certainly biased towards spending money based on practicalities, rather than being suckered in by advertising and marketing, and I can use something called "the Internet" to make sure I'm using my money wisely instead of wastefully. If you've got the time, try doing some actual research on the subject. Education is our most valuable gift, after all (although I do hear some couples spend thousands on diamonds instead of putting it towards education for their children - can you believe it?!

).

If you're giving her a "symbol" (or token, as PuzzledDave says), then its financial value should not matter, and I refer you again to making your own ring - what better way to express your love and dedication than investing time and (a lesser amount of) money into a new skill and a unique ring just for her? Ring-designer and jewellery-crafter on your curriculum vitae, too! Or - as a slightly left-field solution - how about an engagement bed? £600-900 on a decent bed with a fantastic mattress that you'll use (and use together) for eight-ish hours every day. (Feel free to blu-tack a diamond onto the headboard if she wants one)

Call me curious, but I wonder how much she's going to spend on a diamond engagement ring for him? Wouldn't it be embarrassing if she spends a lot more than he does, or vice versa! (I assume that this expectant mother is also considering how many thousands of pounds she should spend on something shiny to put around her husbands finger in order to do... that thing... the thing that diamonds do...)

Seanymph · 23 May 2014 at 5:12AM

My ring came from an antique shop.

OH proposed and we spent quite a while shopping for something that we both liked and was within the price range we considered.

It's a fire opal with diamonds either side, and cost £165.

I spent more on a wedding band, because I wanted one that was diamond studded.

Ask her what she wants - but bear in mind although she'll be wearing it for a long time, you will have other priorities.

Is there a ring in the family that you can use? I already know that I have one that my daughters boyfriend and her are eyeing up - your wife to be may well be more touched to receive a family ring.

And does she love platinum? Because I had an ex who loved it (and bought me a ring in it) and I hated it.

I HAD worn silver - which was apparently his inspiration - but only because for day wear rings I couldn't afford gold. I preferred yellow gold.

Ask her what she wants would be my best advice.

heartbreak_star · 23 May 2014 at 4:55PM

I'd be too scared to wear a £2k ring in case I lost or damaged it!

OP, will it be insured?

HBS x

Carl31 · 24 May 2014 at 9:28AM

I got my now wifes made by a diamond merchant in Farringdon

It was a coonection through a friend, but I had the most amazing ring made to my Wifes spec, with the best diamonds the naked I could see for about £900. We had it valued at a high street jeweller, who said it was probably worth about £3000

The advice I was given was stay away from the big named places as their markups are horrendous. De beers for example can mark up between 500 - 1000% due to the brand name

Also, make sure your girlfriend loves it, its not all about the price

jbutleruk · 24 May 2014 at 10:00AM

Well thank you to some for the relevant advice and to other, try to stay on point.

Quite frankly I met the girl of my dreams, I just got a nice bonus at work and I can afford to spend a little more on a nice ring for her so in going too. The baby is taken care of already.

I'm after practical advice (like look at Palladium over platinum, what a gem of advice, thank you).

Please advise on this and not get of topic.

The platinum band is around £700 to £850 the jewelers said. So for around 1k what diamond could I expect? (Bearing in mind my girlfriend is petite and won't want Anything bigger than 0.5 of a carat).

Advice please.

Engagement ring - getting the most for your money.

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