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Convincing your partner to be a little more, uhm, moderated with their food?

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  • Funky_Bold_Ribena
    Funky_Bold_Ribena Posts: 2,256 Forumite
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    kiss_me_now9 wrote: »
    Not really, to be frank it's a very scary prospect to think that when he goes back to studying, it will be MY wages only that are coming into the house and so all the bills, rent, food etc. will be on my head - I currently work in a short term temp job (3 month contract) and I have no idea what I'll be able to get after that. I do want him to go to uni, I dropped out and went back a second time but he's very prone to one day deciding that he wants to study History and then the next week deciding that he wants to be a vet. That's fine if you're 17 and you can change your mind easily but when you're 23 and you're on your last shot it needs to be a well planned, thoroughly thought through decision that right now I don't feel like it is. I feel very much that he has decided that he hates his current retail job, he doesn't want to find something else because he's scared he'll get sacked from somewhere else so he sees it as the only option. I will stand by him in whatever he decides, but I'm allowed to have reservations about it.



    Thank you :) He is a human dustbin, ahah! I'm a completely savoury person and would rather eat more dinner but he's got a raging sweet tooth so he'll happily skip dinner to eat the digestives instead :eek:



    Why does it matter? It matters because his health is at risk. He's overweight as it is - he doesn't exercise, he smokes... Larger quantities will mean that instead of eating 10 Digestives in one go, he'll eat 15. That then means I spend more money on the things I don't eat and he'll end up obese and in very ill health. I don't think wanting my partner to be healthy is controlling.

    Spendless - he was checked for it a few years ago, they got the results back and basically said 'No, you're just lazy and overeating'. Trying to get him to think about his health is like pulling teeth.

    Kboss - He goes through about a litre of (full fat) coke a day too.

    A - you didn't mention he was obese in your OP.
    B - on your last shot at 23? I am 46 next month, went back to Uni in my 30s, whilst working full time and am on my 4th career and have just started a new business. And when I was putting myself through uni I was single and living miles away from family and friends.
    C - if you really have issues with his weight and diet and attitude; then perhaps you need to find a different partner. This is not about the shopping is it?
    Sanctimonious Veggie. GYO-er. Seed Saver. Get in.
  • Funky_Bold_Ribena
    Funky_Bold_Ribena Posts: 2,256 Forumite
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    HappyMJ wrote: »
    I meant the fruit...buy more fruit...and NAS(no added sugar) squash.
    No added sugar squash is really not the best option to be honest. All that aspartame.
    Sanctimonious Veggie. GYO-er. Seed Saver. Get in.
  • kboss2010
    kboss2010 Posts: 1,466 Forumite
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    I agree with a lot of posters, stop trying to change him because you'll both just end up frustrated and miserable.

    I completely understand how frustrating it is for you because I've been there and coca-cola addiction is very unhealthy, I had a friend with the same problem. But, at the end of the day, you can only make suggestions and offer your reasons why you think he should change for him.

    In my opinion, it's a little selfish of him to expect you to keep him while he goes back to fix what he screwed up.

    I went back to uni last year to do a masters (same situation re rubbish job and no stability) but I refused to let my boyfriend pay for anything for me. Yes, we live together, but it took me 2 1/2 years to save up enough to go back and pay my own way and I took a part-time job on top of a full-time course. Your bf's lack of effort in saving and decision-making seems like he's just looking for a way out of his job but hasn't considered you or your future at all.

    There comes a point where you need to decide whether he's the guy for you long-term. Harsh as it sounds, you'll only get frustrated and angry when he doesn't change to fit what you want but that's not fair to him or you.
    “I want to be a glow worm, A glow worm's never glum'Coz how can you be grumpy, when the sun shines out your bum?" ~ Dr A. TappingI'm finding my way back to sanity again... but I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there~ LifehouseWhat’s fur ye will make go by ye… but also what’s not fur ye, ye can jist scroll on by!
  • HappyMJ
    HappyMJ Posts: 21,115 Forumite
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    Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »
    No added sugar squash is really not the best option to be honest. All that aspartame.
    All Tesco double strength squash as mentioned in the first post contains Aspartame. With that low amount and continuing to consume in moderation it'll make little difference to his health. The smoking will kill him first.
    :footie:
    :p Regular savers earn 6% interest (HSBC, First Direct, M&S) :p Loans cost 2.9% per year (Nationwide) = FREE money. :p
  • Funky_Bold_Ribena
    Funky_Bold_Ribena Posts: 2,256 Forumite
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    HappyMJ wrote: »
    All Tesco double strength squash as mentioned in the first post contains Aspartame. With that low amount and continuing to consume in moderation it'll make little difference to his health. The smoking will kill him first.

    Loads of things have that poison in them! However I expect the smoking, the lack of exercise, eating packets of digestives and all the bad stuff together will not help his weight go down and the combination will be his downfall at some stage.
    Sanctimonious Veggie. GYO-er. Seed Saver. Get in.
  • HappyMJ
    HappyMJ Posts: 21,115 Forumite
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    Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »
    Loads of things have that poison in them! However I expect the smoking, the lack of exercise, eating packets of digestives and all the bad stuff together will not help his weight go down and the combination will be his downfall at some stage.
    So what low calorie beverage would you recommend instead? Ribena is one of the worst squashes to have with 60 grams of sugar in a pint glass. I have 3 pints of squash per day so that would be 180 grams of sugar a day...that's pretty bad...and as sugar has 4 calories per gram that's an empty 720 calories per day.
    :footie:
    :p Regular savers earn 6% interest (HSBC, First Direct, M&S) :p Loans cost 2.9% per year (Nationwide) = FREE money. :p
  • Funky_Bold_Ribena
    Funky_Bold_Ribena Posts: 2,256 Forumite
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    HappyMJ wrote: »
    So what low calorie beverage would you recommend instead? Ribena is one of the worst squashes to have with 60 grams of sugar in a pint glass. I have 3 pints of squash per day so that would be 180 grams of sugar a day...that's pretty bad...and as sugar has 4 calories per gram that's an empty 720 calories per day.

    Water?

    I don't drink low calorie anything. I gave up low calorie this and low calorie that, started eating proper food and you find you need less because - lo and behold - you feel fuller.

    I make my own cordials and drink those if I need any. Or I drink Rocks squashes.
    Sanctimonious Veggie. GYO-er. Seed Saver. Get in.
  • HappyMJ
    HappyMJ Posts: 21,115 Forumite
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    Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »
    Water?

    I don't drink low calorie anything. I gave up low calorie this and low calorie that, started eating proper food and you find you need less because - lo and behold - you feel fuller.

    I make my own cordials and drink those if I need any. Or I drink Rocks squashes.
    I hate water if my wife told me to drink only water there would be a heated argument. Rocks squash...lovely stuff at 30p/pint glass. A 740ml bottle would last me 3 days @ £2.70 a bottle...
    :footie:
    :p Regular savers earn 6% interest (HSBC, First Direct, M&S) :p Loans cost 2.9% per year (Nationwide) = FREE money. :p
  • Funky_Bold_Ribena
    Funky_Bold_Ribena Posts: 2,256 Forumite
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    HappyMJ wrote: »
    I hate water if my wife told me to drink only water there would be a heated argument. Rocks squash...lovely stuff at 30p/pint glass. A 740ml bottle would last me 3 days @ £2.70 a bottle...

    Why would your wife tell you to do anything? We use a bottle of Rocks a week between the two of us. Do you eat alot of salt? Is that why you need so much fluids? You can get water bottles now with filters in the lid. So each glass tastes better.

    The principle is the same as anything - the cheap stuff is usually full of cr.ap and the more expensive stuff is usually better for you. Not always of course. So either spend more and get a better product or accept that you could be consuming things that are not actually good for you. Or grow and make it yourself.

    *usually, not always of course.
    Sanctimonious Veggie. GYO-er. Seed Saver. Get in.
  • vanoonoo
    vanoonoo Posts: 1,897 Forumite
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    could you stop buying the stuff he shouldn't be eating so that if he wants to eat half a pack of biscuits he has to go and buy them himself. if he's as idle as I am he wont bother :D
    Blah
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