Real Life MMD: My son broke boy's glasses - should I pay?

jennysue22748 · 22 June 2011 at 12:27PM

Who instigated the fight and is it possible that it was your son?
If your son was the agressor then you need to address this problem.

If your son was picked on by the other boy (maybe as his brother appears to be a bully) then consider not paying, but.........

Think about your child's position at the school in relation to your decision. Is he likely to suffer from bullying / discrimination as a result?

If it was an accident then discuss with the boy's parents to resolve the situation. Points to consider are a) age of glasses, - they might be due to be replaced b) original cost c/f age and work out pro rata value, c) your financial situation and theirs, and are you being mean/ reasonable or are they looking at you as a soft touch.

Remember it is not just your pocket that is at stake, it is your son's social position at the school that is paramount.

W_s_n · 22 June 2011 at 12:32PM

ISAmad wrote: »

Seriously, why in Britain in the 21st Century is the government using taxes to give children 'free' glasses? Britons are amongst the richest people in the world. I presume this parental perk is open to all parents regardless of income?!

It's quite ridiculous that the government should be responsible for buying, repairing and replacing children's glasses.

You clearly don't live in the UK. We are not all rich thank you very much!

joeyp · 22 June 2011 at 12:32PM

ISAmad wrote: »

Seriously, why in Britain in the 21st Century is the government using taxes to give children 'free' glasses? Britons are amongst the richest people in the world. I presume this parental perk is open to all parents regardless of income?!

It's quite ridiculous that the government should be responsible for buying, repairing and replacing children's glasses.

What? Nobody CHOOSES to have poor eye sight!!

Having worked in the optical manufacturing field in the past I am aware that glasses (even the designer ones) have a huge mark-up at the opticians. Frames are actually relatively cheap to manufacture, the cost mainly comes down to the lenses (depending on the strength), so I don't imagine the tax payer is paying as much for this service as it is paying for NHS treatment for self-inflicted injuries, diseases etc.

MattLG · 22 June 2011 at 12:44PM

MSE_Lee wrote: »

The next day this boy's older brother started bullying my son saying he'd have to pay for the glasses.

Using the word "bullying" to describe one child simply picking on another child only serves to trivialise the extent of true bullying.

You wouldn't call kiss-chase "rape".

MattLG

Robbo1967 · 22 June 2011 at 12:51PM

It does sound to me like they are trying it on to make some money. I would make sure my son was aware that his actions were not acceptable and withhold his pocket money and ground him for a week, so he understands that it's important to take responsibility for his actions - even when its play fighting - and there is a consequence. I'd then speak to the other parents and let them know that my son was being grounded etc and ask if the glasses cannot be repaired/replaced under the NHS. If they cannot, ask why and ask to see the receipt detailing the extras before agreeing to pay half of the cost, a maximum of £25, towards them. If its genuine, then they won't have an issue and neither should you. I'd also speak to the parents about the older brothers behaviour and that the bullying needs to stop now or you'll take it further with the school.

dysentry · 22 June 2011 at 12:54PM

Hello,

This is an interesting situation, I agree to both sides but here is my take.

You want a solution that makes the child, his brother and his family happy - or worse not too grieved. Problems arise if you take too hard a line as the parents will discuss this matter with the children which could lead to bullying and the childrens friendship disolving.

Pointing the finger and placing blame will not solve the above issue. The parents have somewhat reasonably accepted that their child was to half to blame hence why only asking for half of the replacement. Let's assume they do not know that they can get free replacements - their request becomes reasonable/fair doesn't it?

What I am saying is that you should point out that they should be able to get a free replacement from their optician and thus save you *both* money (sell them the idea!). Acknowledge that the glasses might have had a special frame and say something like "I know nhs covers up to £50, i am happy to go halves on the extra you paid, how much do you think it is and ill sort you out AFTER seeing the receipt". Point out that your children are friends and that you'd like them to stay friends because their son is a nice boy (doesn't have to be entirely truthful).

Note that their child, to protect themselves from a smack from the parents, might have portrayed your child as the baddie - be it a lie or the truth, it doesn't matter now because you want a happy solution whereby the parents don't indirectly encourage the elder son to bully.

Be it £10/15/25 = the cost hurts your wallet depending on your situation, but ultimately the price is your sons happiness - so keep that in mind.

Sometimes you need to apologise even when right, just to move on and be happy imho. It's not losing face.

I wouldn't try and put the blame on the school, boys will be boys, putting the blame on the school is just a cop out and the cheap way to shirk responsibility for your child.

You could teach your child a lesson by making them work off the money too (chores, less pocket money), make it a learning excercise for them.

robynprincess · 22 June 2011 at 12:56PM

As its been said he should get his glasses free. However if that was not the case i would absolutely pay half, £25. Your child was equally at fault as the other, what sort of message does it send to your child if you refused to pay? Actions have consequenses and while it may have been an accident, you dont hit someone else's car and say oh but it was an accident so i'm not going to pay.

Tigsteroonie · 22 June 2011 at 1:03PM

ISAmad wrote: »

Seriously, why in Britain in the 21st Century is the government using taxes to give children 'free' glasses? Britons are amongst the richest people in the world. I presume this parental perk is open to all parents regardless of income?!

It's quite ridiculous that the government should be responsible for buying, repairing and replacing children's glasses.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I suppose you think I should pay for our son's hearing aids too.

So what have I been paying taxes and NI for over the last 20+ years? Doesn't some of that fund the NHS, who then pay for glasses & aids?

jantoby · 22 June 2011 at 1:11PM

I'd ask them to show you the receipt for repair/replacement and give them 25% of what it's cost. Don't give them anything until they've got them fixed - they might just sellotape them back together again and pocket your money. I hope you've reported the older brother's bullying to the school. Chances are he's only repeating what the parents have said and standing up for his little brother, but that's no excuse for bullying. Let us know what you do and how it turns out.

JuniperBerry_3 · 22 June 2011 at 1:25PM

Shocking to see people still saying the other parents should be told to "go swivel" that's a ridculous conclusion based on the facts as presented.
As said before, point out repair / replace should be free (they might not know) and if they have to pay then go halves once they send you the receipt.
It's the way I'm sure you would want things resolved if the glasses were on the other nose.
I HATE the developing culture in this country that everyone is trying to rip you off and it is always someone elses fault. NOBODY benefits from that attitude, it just makes life and society miserable for us all.
Lets have a bit of understanding and a bit of compassion. PLEASE !

Real Life MMD: My son broke boy's glasses - should I pay?

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