Husband is depressed and it is destroying our finances

If you do move, make sure you both get a job first, go somewhere its economically active. Coastal areas are notorious for poor jobs and often minimum wage and seasonal.

Look beyond the allure before making a radical decision.

Hi,
Could your partner request a part-time contract to help him get back into work and stay well? I appreciate this may not help your finances but it's better to be managing (emotionally) part time than being off sick long term. If you both feel he needs a different job you don't need to relocate in order to pursue this.

If debts are causing your financial strains you may need a debt solution or if it is a big mortgage you might still need to downsize.

Do you have family and friends where you live now? It is quite unlikely that moving will mean that your husband does not suffer with depression anymore (no matter how much you hope that would be the case) but you and he won't have a support network in a new town and if your little one has a granny/grandad, other relatives they spend time with they will miss them.

Moving to a new area is tough at the best of times so I don't think it is a decision you should make at the moment when your husband is unwell. If you would both like to live by the sea why not agree to look at it when you are both well and coming from a place of emotional strength. That way you will know you are not moving to get away from problems that will very likely move with you.

Tlc

Hi Persephone,
A few thoughts -
1. A year is a long time to be off. You say he is working to deal with the depression, but a year in, can you see any improvement? If not, suggest he reviews the strategy/medication/approach he is taking. The longer he is off work, the more difficult it becomes to return. Never underestimate the power of habit in shaping our behaviour - so easy to fall into and so hard to break. Agree that a phased return might be a way forward that benefits both parties. Could you get a referral for CBT or similar to address this specific issue?
2. You say that his job is useful and transferable, but also that it is a stressful environment for him. Why would it be better in a new area where he also has to settle into a new set-up, which is itself stressful? I think it's a big ask to expect a new working environment to improve his depression; you may be better addressing the current work situation and looking at moving a little further down the line when he can cope with the job he already has. This is also better from the point of view of being able to get good references and start a new job in a better mental state.
3. We have family members who relocated to the IoW about two years ago. They have just sold up and returned, at a loss. Visiting is expensive, employment opportunities very limited. If you want the coast, agree with the OP who thinks economic activity is important and would suggest a port town/city with wider year-round job opportunities, eg Southampton or other??
4. With a depressive OH and a small child, you need to make sure you yourself are as well supported as possible. Do you have a supportive wider family? Are you near them? Would it be helpful if you were?

These are just the first things that come to mind. What does your OH think about a move? Is he even in a place to be able to consider it at the moment? I can see why the idea is attractive, but please research it as much as possible and avoid the trap of seeing it as a panacea.

All the best.
LR