Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge?

"quote" MSE Archna
My partner’s daughter is 18 and has just started a full time job. She was at uni part-time before that and my partner gave her £30 per week, plus paid for expenses such as mobile, clothes and gym. She’s now earning over £200 a week and we’ve asked her to pay £30 a week towards board, so she can learn the value of money. She thinks it isn’t fair and says she’ll only pay £20. Should we make her pay up?

Hello MSE Archna
In my opinion your partner's daughter should be paying more than £20 per week, if she is working full time then she is responsible to pay board, if she had to live away she would have to pay an awful lot more than that per week.
I would insist she pays the £30 pw you are asking for or tries to find somewhere else as cheap as that and stick to your descision.
I personally feel that young adults have it far too easy now, when i left school i earnt a measly £25 per week, i had to give my mother £15 pw, it certainly taught me the value of money.

Good luck

I think at least £50 a week. My daughter leaves college next year and we have already had this conversation and she understands that as a working adult she need to contribute to the household. If she thinks she can get it all for less elsewhere, let her try.

I agree with Mckneff and dronid - work out what your costs are to run the household and divide by the number of adults - that's a fair contribution - I would think she'll be quite shocked by how much it actually costs to run a house . Otherwise a minimum of 1/3 of take home pay (you can always do what a friends mum did for her as a suprise - save any amount over the £30 or all of her contribution if you are feeling generous and give it to your partner's daughter when she leaves home as a deposit for a flat/house etc)

Are there tax implications? What's the max that can be charged prior to it becoming an issue?

McKneff wrote: »

£30 a week and she is moaning, so it leaves her £170 a week to herself.

Tell her to pay up or ship out. She should be paying at least £60 a week.

Dont let her get away with it,

If you must write everything down and split the gas, elec, water, rent, food, etc etc, etc, present it to her
and tell her she must pay her way or find somewhee else to live.

Follow through though or you will regret it.

Thanks for the calculations McKneff! £170 per week to herself?! That's what I have a MONTH, once all bills are paid! :wall:

Seriously though - I'm in my early thirties and lived with my parents until around 18 months ago (when my name finally came up on the Housing Association/Council's list). I appreciate what a relative luxury this was and will ALWAYS be grateful to my parents. However, part of me wishes my parents had been firmer with me, and forced me to grow up sooner. Due to my own complacency and lack of a grasp on reality, I now have an IVA and live in comparative hardship.

In addition, I remember a former colleague (a successful, independent, wealthy woman) telling me that her mother had kicked her out when she was 16. When I expressed horror, she said "No - it was the best thing that could have happened to me."

If I were the OP, I would cut the daughter some slack until she is 21. She's still likely to be relatively immature. However, I WOULD expect more than £30 per week.

I paid my parents £40 - BUT - I did ALL my own food shopping, plus all my own laundry (paying for washing powder, etc.), as well as 'phone calls, contribution to TV licence and utilities, etc.

At the end of the day, only the OP can judge. If the daughter is conscientious then I'd be more prepared to be lenient. HOWEVER, in THIS case, she sounds like she's more concerned with luxuries and a social life.

I'd advise sitting down together, without tempers flaring if possible, and work out how much everything costs. Agree on a FAIR contribution and get all parties to agree to a plan (and everyone sign it if possible). Don't pre-judge the daughter - she may have no conception of what Council Tax, utility bills, etc., actually cost.

But - above all - let her know that, whatever happens, she is still loved. On leaving home, my relationship with my father drastically improved - but my mother left me with the impression that I was nothing but an irritant and a disappointment, and I struggle daily to deal with that.

Basically - the key to it all is open-ness and honesty. £30 is not generally an amount I'd consider reasonable - but each case is different. Ultimately, only you can decide. But it should be a FAMILY decision, not one against "the others". If the daughter cannot agree to a reasonable way forward, such as this, then perhaps a month's notice to leave may be the best option all 'round.

Good luck. xx