If get a DNA test and it comes back inconclusive, what to think?

Before I order a £99 kit to test myself and son secretly I am faced with one (a 1 in 300) possibility of it coming up inconclusive. This is due to a DNA mutation or something. I can handle if I am or am not. But what do I do if I get the inconclusive result? Or am I worrying too much? The only way to eliminate this problem is to get mother (my girlfriend) tested as well. But she might finish with me if I ask for that so won't.
«13

Comments

  • McKneff
    McKneff Posts: 38,816
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Forumite
    Why give yourself extra grief. what if, what if.. !!!!

    Deal with it when you get the results back.

    You seem to be worrying about the 'inconclusive' result that a 'you are not the father' result

    just wait and sort it later
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
  • pleasedelete
    pleasedelete Posts: 2,286
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    edited 14 May 2016 at 3:02PM
    A home testing kit result isn't suitable for paternity if you wish to use it to dispute paying child support. You need to get full secure testing done in an approved centre. Yes it will tell you if you are the father but it is not admissible for disputing child care costs. If you really think that you are not the father then go for full and more expensive testing straight away.

    It is more reliable if you also have a sample for both parents
    June challenge £100 a day £3161.63 plus £350 vouchers plus £108.37 food/shopping saving

    July challenge £50 a day. £ 1682.50/1550

    October challenge £100 a day. £385/£3100
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    Forumite
    If it comes back inconclusive then you'd need to get it done properly with both parents and the child so need to speak to the mother honestly instead of sneaking around behind her back......or you could just ring Jezza .
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • clairec79
    clairec79 Posts: 2,512 Forumite
    The only way to eliminate this problem is to get mother (my girlfriend) tested as well. But she might finish with me if I ask for that so won't.

    If she finds out you've had it done without telling her she might well finish with you anyway (I would)
  • sangie595
    sangie595 Posts: 6,092 Forumite
    And if it comes back telling you that you aren't the father? You are going to walk out? You are going to tell her? You are going to keep it a secret for as long as you have a use for her? Is this child no longer your "son" if the results come back wrong?

    Providing sperm is a simple biological process. Being a father requires emotional maturity and love. Neither of which you are displaying right now. If you love this child, want the best for him, and want to guide him as he grows up, then you don't need a DNA test. If you don't, then save yourself £99 and just walk away - he'll be better off without you.
  • Topcat1982
    Topcat1982 Posts: 391 Forumite
    When I called one DNA company the worker there said the tests can be done with just the father and baby but will only give a result of inconclusive if the real father is your brother or first cousin (someone very close genetically) otherwise the result is very clear - you are the father or you aren't the father. So it's rare to get an inconclusive result
    .

    That's what you posted in your last thread. Is there any real possibility your g/f''s been having an affair with your brother or your cousin?
  • RuthnJasper
    RuthnJasper Posts: 4,032
    Photogenic First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    This thread just makes me overwhelmingly sad.


    The OP also posts under the Username "textbook" and the threads are peppered with further stuff on this topic, queries about whether HMRC/Benefits people check eTrade income, how to conceal a Facebook ID from other acquaintances, how to check if a Job Centre employee lives near to him, etc., etc.


    I hope the poor, innocent little mite at the heart of this has a happy and fulfilling life. Though I can't see how it will go untainted if this is the shady, suspicious start to its life.


    Please OP - just do the right thing for this child and try not to hide behind smoke and mirrors. A baby deserves a better fate.
  • applepicker
    applepicker Posts: 151 Forumite
    Why would my girlfriend get angry if I got tested for this? I wouldn't if it was other way round.


    Are all the people opposing this on this thread female?


    Anyhow, if I get this done if he isn't we split, if I am - great! My concern is this inconclusive (very low possibility of happening ) but what would I do if I got this result?
  • justontime
    justontime Posts: 507 Forumite
    You either have to do it and face the consequences or not do it and live with the doubt. No one can make the decision for you, you must decide. Personally if I had doubts I would want the test (assuming the child is still a baby) but I hope I would brave enough to be open about it and discuss it with my partner first.

    Whatever you do you must live with your decision, either do it and be sure or decide to accept the child and put the doubts out of your mind. The cruelest thing would be to find out when the child it a bit older and to reject the child at that point, so there is good reason to do the test now if it needs to be done. If you love this child and it is shown that it is not your natural child you could talk to your partner about having a parental responsibility agreement or adoption.

    You have to trust your own judgement on this, no one else can tell you what's right in your circumstances.
    (I'm female by the way)
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    sangie595 wrote: »
    And if it comes back telling you that you aren't the father? You are going to walk out? You are going to tell her? You are going to keep it a secret for as long as you have a use for her? Is this child no longer your "son" if the results come back wrong?

    Providing sperm is a simple biological process. Being a father requires emotional maturity and love. Neither of which you are displaying right now. If you love this child, want the best for him, and want to guide him as he grows up, then you don't need a DNA test. If you don't, then save yourself £99 and just walk away - he'll be better off without you.



    I read it as him unsure if his girlfriend had cheated, rather than she has and there's 2 possibilities for sperm donor.


    I think if there's doubt he should know if she's done the dirty.


    But if it's as you say about fatherhood, then I agree with you.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 342.5K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.9K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 234.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.8K Life & Family
  • 247.4K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards