Violent special needs/autism teenager help!

eskimo26
eskimo26 Posts: 897 Forumite
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Hi all,
I know from regular reading their are a lot of parents here with the knowledge i need.

As of tonight my uncle has given me permission to speak on his behalf with the social worker regarding my Niece, and said social worker has been sent an e-mail telling her as much.

My niece is 14/15 with an assessed mental age of 8/9 with a secondary diagnosis of autism, conditions she has had since birth.

My uncle and his family are no longer able to cope with her care.

Tonight the police were called to deal with my Niece physically assaulting her parents, this is a regular occurrence and the Police officer said his report with be scathing towards the support they are receiving from social services.

My Niece does not act out at school or social clubs but has been assaulting my Uncle and Aunt 'since the moment she wakes to the time she sleeps' for almost 5 years. [he was embarrassed to tell us.]

My sister who has worked with autistic children before went round tonight to see if we can calm her down, the Police officer picked us up and told us if we can't calm her down they will have no choice but to take her to the cells for the night.

My sister then spent the last 4 hours being beaten black and blue using techniques she had learnt to try and get her to sleep, she was still awake when we left though calmer.

They have told me they want her to be put in a suitable boarding situation as they are no longer able to cope. My uncle would like her back in the Holidays but not my Aunt. [ i think this is her depression and the stress of the immediate situation, truth to tell i think she will miss her terribly.]

Her twin [no health problems] is sitting her GCSE's and is becoming extremely stressed, her Mother is similarly stressed and is dealing with worsening depression. More importantly my Uncle is 63 has to take oxygen every night and as a result of the stress had a stroke a week ago and was in hospital for 2 days.

I worry about his health.

I need to know the quickest way to give them long term respite or to have her placed in a relevant boarding care home.

I have read the social report from a year ago initiated by a similar incident as tonight where the Police were called. There is a lot of talk of 'inconsistant parenting', there are police notifications on the report [4 in 2 months] and many other details.

Analysis of needs and risk states ' ~ is a Child in Need under section 17 of the children act 1989...'

There is an acknowledgement the parents are desperate for support to meet her needs and then are some recommendations that she will benefit from an independent carer, she recommends the implementation of a care package once the provision of universal services have been explored.

This was a year ago and as far as i'm aware they have not had a care package implemented or any carer brought in. Her class teacher from her special school came to help in the mornings because she was causing trouble getting ready for school but this was only for a few weeks, a community nurse has been involved for several years.

They have reached breaking point, how can i get them the help they need as quickly as possible. I'm going to contact the social worker and cc her manager about my concerns with regards to the report from a year ago being ignored.

What can be done and how do i go about getting it done quickly before my Uncle's next visit to Hospital is fatal?

Thank you so much, it took a lot for my Uncle to contact us and get us involved, he has been very private about it and says he is 'embarrassed'. I told him it is a situation anyone would struggle with never mind a pensioner with serious health problems and a wife with depression who also has the burden of being his carer!

Wow long. Please ask anything relevant questions as i said i know their are parents out there who's children have similar care needs.

Thank you so much. :(
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Comments

  • julie03
    julie03 Posts: 1,096 Forumite
    edited 4 October 2012 at 1:15AM
    i dont have much experience with this though i have a child with autism, though his needs are not as complex as your nieces seem to be. i also have the issue of not acting out at school or in public, just at home.

    my support worker told me autistic children can hold in all their emotions all day at school and in public and when they get home where they feel more relaxed they just seem to let loose.

    you have to be a nuisance, social workers and such seem to say they will call back but never do so you need to pester them.

    i hope you can get your aunt and uncle some respite as it can be so wearing and can impact heavily on family life

    good luck
  • Molly41
    Molly41 Posts: 4,919 Forumite
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    I also had a lot of working experience with children with behavioural issues. This is a crisis and as such Social Services should be intervening as a matter of urgency. It will take the family to say that they can no longer look after her and literally refuse to take care of her. If that means turning up at SS with her or ringing out of hours or liaising with school refusing that she return home.

    I know this sounds harsh but SS only respond to crisis and it will take years to sort out respite. The father and mother may not have this time and it is not fair on the other child.
    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
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    When the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
  • daska
    daska Posts: 6,212 Forumite
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    edited 4 October 2012 at 9:37AM
    "inconsistent parenting" huh? - I wonder sometimes whether some social workers have a clue how hard it is to be consistent when you're being beaten up. I've been where your uncle is though in our case I'm disabled and my child was under 5 - not often a 5 year old is regularly in the position of inflicting near fatal attacks on their mum but that was the only thing that finally got through to SS!

    Molly41 is correct. They will have to make it clear that they are no longer able to help. It's not about them not wanting to or not being willing to, it is simply not possible for her to return home as they are unable to cope with her.

    SS will probably then try as hard as possible to make them back down and take her back. They have to stand firm and refuse.

    SS may approach them with offers of a personal budget for support. Be VERY careful. These budgets are reviewed every year and can literally disappear leaving them in exactly the same situation as they were in previously.

    Personally I would copy in my local councillor, the Head of Social Services and my MP on a letter outlining how long this has been going on, the impact on the rest of the family, the shortcomings of SS re the support provided and the current situation and a request that SS implement urgent action rather than dragging their heels any longer. Make it factual rather than accusatory. Highlight the impact on your Uncle's health, her sisters education and the breakdown of the family.
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  • Dunroamin
    Dunroamin Posts: 16,908 Forumite
    A long as they're coping, even if only just, Social Services will let them.
  • Nicki
    Nicki Posts: 8,166 Forumite
    Can the school not help with this? I know the head of my Dd's special school regularly liaises with SS and has facilitated the transfer of a few pupils to residential care.
  • londonsurrey
    londonsurrey Posts: 2,444 Forumite
    Dunroamin wrote: »
    A long as they're coping, even if only just, Social Services will let them.

    That's so very true. My friend's daughter was severely brain damaged, and social services fought the family for every scrap of help requested. This went on for years, coping with a very large brain damaged adult.

    Now, it looks as though the daughter might be getting a compensation claim paid. And suddenly, coincidentally, there's been a "policy change", and social services wants to re-evaluate the daughter for residential care (under their auspices), and are trying to accuse the family of not putting her first if they object.

    Funny how the family were perfectly good carers for all those years when there was no money.
  • carerof3
    carerof3 Posts: 92 Forumite
    I fully agree with all Daska said. Make sure you write to the manager of social services copying the letter to councillors & MP. Making it clear you can't cope any longer. If you voluntarily put her into care, it's not the same as her being removed, and you can still make decisions about her school etc. At least, that was what I was told, but it was about 15 years ago now, so rules may have changed.

    I tried to put my son into foster care at one point, but they refused as they didn't have anyone who would take him. I kept him, as we were waiting for a residential placement, so there was an end in sight somewhere, and I got more help & respite for his brother. I had decided that if I couldn't cope any longer that I would wait until he was out with the community care lady from SS and go out, so I wasn't there when he got back, so they would be stuck with him. In the end, I managed to cope (just) until the school place became available. I've been so bruised from my son attacking me in the past, that my arms were all various shades of purple, green & yellow but it wasn't possible to see any skin colour. Social workers asked me to cover my arms, as they didn't like to look at them! He was 7 years old by the way.
    My two sons & I all have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder.
  • eskimo26
    eskimo26 Posts: 897 Forumite
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    Hi all just an update on this.

    Today we met with the social worker and she said she would not support her removal as their are 'other things that can be done' [there's a surprise].

    I impressed on her because of my Uncles health needs they need immediate respite. She has said she will organize a short term cash sum of £800 to be spent as they wish to help with care.

    Obvious this is to little to late as i told her several times the family was in crisis, i impressed on her the unlikelihood of the family lasting until the end of this month, when a committee meeting will decide a long term care plan. [something her report from over a year ago recommended they implement!]

    They would have to wait a week for the money to be released as they have to wait for it to go through a manager. The likelihood of them lasting this week with zero care support without serious detriment to my Uncles health is extremely unlikely.

    Even when the money comes through it will only fund care for 10 days overnight care out of 24 days till the meeting and who knows how long AFTER the meeting before they implement anything.

    I'm going to write an e-mail saying they are unlikely to last the week with no support and cc in her manager at the complex needs team. [Or should i cc in the head of social services?]

    Is their anyway to get immediate respite for a period of 3 to 4 months? If this is not possible it is very likely they will have to give her voluntarily in care which would be very very sad.

    Are their any 'buzzwords' i should use to impress my point?

    Thank you again.
  • londonsurrey
    londonsurrey Posts: 2,444 Forumite
    Don't know about buzzwords, but your idea of emailing is great. The more people CCd, the better.

    Get everything down in that email, including the social worker's refusal to take on board your extreme concerns. Quite frankly, consider all conversations void, as they will happily discard anything that doesn't suit them.
  • Hi, I work with lots of child protection cases.

    I would suggest that you make a formal complaint to the practice manager (this will be the social worker's direct line manager), and I would copy in the Operations Manager/Director for Social Care. If you put it as a formal complaint (and state this in your letter), they will have to initiate /follow their complaints procedures.

    I would look back at the care plan, and agreed actions that you say haven't been carried out, and refer to each one as a separate paragraph in your letter. I would do this by linking it back to the assessment framework/triangle used within social care (which you can find online) and outline the way that each area that failed to to materialise from the care plan is affecting the daughter, but also the wider family. Then outside of the previous care plan, highlight any additional incidents/behaviours/developments etc and refer to the impact of each one with regards to the framework
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