The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

cathybird · 9 July 2017 at 5:23PM

Wanna_Bee_Free wrote: »

I am feeling very lazy this morning. Heat, a lot of wine watching Wimbledon and then more has taken the motivation levels way down low here. Off for a bacon sarnie and to get ready to drink too much again later.

This is fun, right.

Now I know why I never post unless I've been sober. I feel an odd mix of rebellious - why shouldn't I have drunk yesterday, annoyed at myself for getting so little done but also pleased to have stopped and relaxed into a drunken state of happiness. I think the why of my drinking is too complicated for this bear of very little brain this morning.

Hey WBF, drinking for me would be a perfect thing to do if the one and only effect of it was that first flush of feeling pleasantly tipsy, or as you say a "drunken state of happiness". I wish drinking alcohol didn't cause all the other things it causes over time and at the time (like the loss of ability to get anything done!) I like feeling mildly drunk, it's great. It just leads to too many other consequences, is the problem.

cathybird · 9 July 2017 at 5:40PM

Also I can't help thinking how half the problem of life is it always feels chaotic and a bit out of control and your problems and messes are always the thing right in front of you, and most of the time you're thinking "got it wrong again" (well I am) or "how do I deal with this". There are happy moments but the struggle with immediate problems tends to be the thing at the fore. This in its turn tends to obscure what's happening over the longer term - both the progress you make, if you're trying to do better at stuff, and the downhill slide if you're slowly getting worse. I look back now at where I was four, five years ago, not just with drinking but other things, and then ten years ago, and I can see I've got loads better at some things and am in an immeasurably better place. It's hard to see it or feel it though because it was gradual. I'm sure this is also how people can hide from themselves that their life is slipping out of control with things like drugs or drink - it doesn't tend to be dramatic, it's gradual, and it gets lost in amidst all the other everyday stuff you deal with, so it doesn't feel as though anything is changing. I have no doubt all of us on here are doing better than we used to be, even if it doesn't feel like it, or there have been repeated attempts and people are frustrated. You always feel in some ways as though you're at square one, and up against it, but the mere fact of hanging around here shows that we're not, we've got somewhere, we've taken a positive step. I know it's been said before.

maman · 9 July 2017 at 7:15PM

Good post cathy .

Honey_Bear · 9 July 2017 at 7:49PM

Wanna_Bee_Free wrote: »

Off for a bacon sarnie and to get ready to drink too much again later.

This is fun, right.

Now I know why I never post unless I've been sober. I feel an odd mix of rebellious - why shouldn't I have drunk yesterday, annoyed at myself for getting so little done but also pleased to have stopped and relaxed into a drunken state of happiness. I think the why of my drinking is too complicated for this bear of very little brain this morning.

That sounds absolutely from the heart WBF and makes complete sense. In the end, I decided that the 'why' of drinking wasn't important; it was the fact of it I had to deal with and I could deal with the 'why' when I'd got brain space to spare. Turns out, for me, the why didn't matter.

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

6/25 please

Channel hopping this morning between Sunday brunch on four and Saturday kitchen repeat on 2. Both had groups of people having a toast before 11am.
Couldn't help but think of your points above (re Middle class drinking)

Absolutely true. It's apparently cool to have a drink with breakfast / brunch. Yeah, right.

cathybird wrote: »

Also I can't help thinking how half the problem of life is it always feels chaotic and a bit out of control and your problems and messes are always the thing right in front of you, and most of the time you're thinking "got it wrong again" (well I am) or "how do I deal with this". There are happy moments but the struggle with immediate problems tends to be the thing at the fore. This in its turn tends to obscure what's happening over the longer term - both the progress you make, if you're trying to do better at stuff, and the downhill slide if you're slowly getting worse. I look back now at where I was four, five years ago, not just with drinking but other things, and then ten years ago, and I can see I've got loads better at some things and am in an immeasurably better place. It's hard to see it or feel it though because it was gradual. I'm sure this is also how people can hide from themselves that their life is slipping out of control with things like drugs or drink - it doesn't tend to be dramatic, it's gradual, and it gets lost in amidst all the other everyday stuff you deal with, so it doesn't feel as though anything is changing. I have no doubt all of us on here are doing better than we used to be, even if it doesn't feel like it, or there have been repeated attempts and people are frustrated. You always feel in some ways as though you're at square one, and up against it, but the mere fact of hanging around here shows that we're not, we've got somewhere, we've taken a positive step. I know it's been said before.

Bang on the money, CathyBird.

I'll add my tup'ney ha'penny worth if I may. I got to the ripe old age of 50 before I finally realised that things doesn't always work out for the best. It sounds obvious with hindsight, but at the time I suddenly understood for the first time that waiting for solutions to happen wasn't going to lead to longterm happiness, ie not just leaving everything to fate, and I had to deal with 'stuff' or it would get seriously out of hand.

And at 58 when I gave up drinking that realisation fully manifested itself when I also understood that things don't always work out for the best when we trust to luck.

Up until then I had made progress on some things; higher education as a mature student, getting spending sort of under control and giving up smoking, but the biggest change by far was dealing with my alcohol problem. Which, if I'm honest, didn't occur to me as a major contibutor to not making more progress until after I stopped - which doesn't mean everyone else should stop completely but it has worked for me.

9/31 please, Shaggy

scatterbrain109 · 9 July 2017 at 10:14PM

Sorry, I have been AWOL from the thread for a while.
I last posted on 5th May.
Since then I have managed 36 days.
I am planning to set more realistic targets and I am aiming for 15 days this month.
So far I have 3/15.
I'll catch up in the next hour or two

Jo x

Green_Karen · 9 July 2017 at 11:33PM

Posting 3/8 AF days tonight.

Wanna_Bee_Free · 10 July 2017 at 6:27AM

Today is going to be 4/18 but I'll check in again this evening. Feeling tired and jaded after a restless night's sleep. Hello Monday morning!

cathybird · 10 July 2017 at 9:22AM

Thanks maman and HB - 9/21 for me today please.

sukeyboo · 10 July 2017 at 9:57AM

Aiming for Mon-Thurs again this week - fingers crossed

Declaring early for tonight on 5/12 please Shaggy

maman · 10 July 2017 at 11:01AM

:wave: good to see you back scatterbrain.

sukeyboo wrote: »

Aiming for Mon-Thurs again this week - fingers crossed

Same here sukey.

Definitely no plans to drink today, so that's a start.;)

3 AFDs please Shaggy.

The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

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