Forced parenthood

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  • Hard_Up_Hester
    Hard_Up_Hester Posts: 4,656 Forumite
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    I knew someone who did this at swingers parties, he got caught one day removing the condom and got a punch on the nose from the husband of the woman he was bonking.
    Chin up, Titus out.
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,323 Forumite
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    mai_taylor wrote: »
    He lied to her, used her for sex and snooped through her phone, don't really think he can take the moral high ground on this one.
    Oh believe me he's had the lecture not least from his current gf who he's told everything to, and whose reaction was "well you're getting checked for STDs before I do anything with you"! Quite right too! She also got him to report the woman to the dating site to get her banned but don't know whether they did.
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,323 Forumite
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    gycraig wrote: »
    It's not even remotely comparable, hurt feelings aren't even remotely the same as lying to someone to try get them to produce a child / child support they don't want
    Probably wasn't even "hurt feelings" as she never found out about the vasectomy. Probably thought she was just unlucky!
  • moneyistooshorttomention
    moneyistooshorttomention Posts: 17,940 Forumite
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    Silvertabby wrote: »
    The pill, even when taken properly, isn't 100% effective if it goes through the system faster than normal.

    A midwife friend tells me that she wouldn't like to estimate the number of babies born as a result of a dodgy curry.

    ....and, out of interest, what did the women concerned tell the midwife as to why they didn't:
    - take extra precautions (as one is advised to do in those circumstances)

    OR

    - have an abortion

    OR

    - have the child adopted at birth

    I'm certainly wondering why a woman would forget about all three of those options to deal with "dodgy tummy = problem".
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,022 Forumite
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    moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »
    ....and, out of interest, what did the women concerned tell the midwife as to why they didn't:
    - take extra precautions (as one is advised to do in those circumstances)

    OR

    - have an abortion

    OR

    - have the child adopted at birth

    I'm certainly wondering why a woman would forget about all three of those options to deal with "dodgy tummy = problem".
    There's the 'happy surprise' baby where it's not a problem, even if unplanned. Just because you're taking the pill or using other methods doesn't mean another baby would be unwelcome.
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • UKTigerlily
    UKTigerlily Posts: 4,702 Forumite
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    jamiehelsinki wrote: »
    When they say they are on the pill etc but not taking it.


    Hardly, as if he didn't want a baby, he'd use condoms also, obviously. Why would it be 100% on the woman when things can cause failure of contraception, and she has to be on it all the time, not just when wanting sex *&* it affects her health?

    A man is an adult, and if responsible enough for sex, should learn to take responsibility for not becoming a Dad (him not liking condoms isn't an excuse, not saying it's yours, but most say that)
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,323 Forumite
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    UKTigerlily wrote: »
    Hardly, as if he didn't want a baby, he'd use condoms also, obviously. Why would it be 100% on the woman when things can cause failure of contraception, and she has to be on it all the time, not just when wanting sex *&* it affects her health?

    A man is an adult, and if responsible enough for sex, should learn to take responsibility for not becoming a Dad (him not liking condoms isn't an excuse, not saying it's yours, but most say that)
    Yes things can go wrong, with condoms or the pill, but the PP was talking about lying about being on the pill, not refusing to take it. That's just as bad as lying about using a condom (or "stealthing"as it's apparently known as, strange there's not a word for the woman lying about protection).
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    zagfles wrote: »
    Yes things can go wrong, with condoms or the pill, but the PP was talking about lying about being on the pill, not refusing to take it. That's just as bad as lying about using a condom (or "stealthing"as it's apparently known as, strange there's not a word for the woman lying about protection).

    I find it very hard to believe that any woman wouldn't realise her partner wasn't wearing a condom.

    I think lying about taking the pill is only relevant in a long term committed relationship where there is supposed to be complete trust. Before that stage both parties should be taking their own measures and not relying on the other at all.

    Even then, its not 'forced' parenthood because as someone else says above, any adult having consensual sex should realise that there is always a small risk of pregnancy, even if everybody is doing everything they should be doing to prevent it! People have got pregnant on the pill, on implants, on the coil, all sorts.
  • wannabe_sybil
    wannabe_sybil Posts: 2,845 Forumite
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    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    I find it very hard to believe that any woman wouldn't realise her partner wasn't wearing a condom.

    I think that's the bit that they see as a challenge. I don't know if you are male or female, but it is definitely possible to be fooled, especially if it is removed after the first few giddy moments.

    I don't have the courage to google for the details, but I'm sure you can find it out there.

    It isn't about women/men are bad and women/men are good. It's about some people are trustworthy and some aren't.
    Ankh Morpork Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons - don't let my flame go out!
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
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    UKTigerlily wrote: »
    Hardly, as if he didn't want a baby, he'd use condoms also, obviously. Why would it be 100% on the woman when things can cause failure of contraception, and she has to be on it all the time, not just when wanting sex *&* it affects her health?

    A man is an adult, and if responsible enough for sex, should learn to take responsibility for not becoming a Dad (him not liking condoms isn't an excuse, not saying it's yours, but most say that)

    Well it is an excuse, the obvious reply would be 'ok then, no sex'.
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